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  • Originally posted by doctorcoug View Post
    While I was on-call and unable to participate, my wife "learned" the official church policy on homosexuality. For instance, men aren't born homosexual, they choose it. There were bigoted and racist comments that got my Molly Mormon wife all worked up. It must have been pretty bad, because that is all she's talked about since I got home today.
    But what about lesbians? DID THE TALK MENTION LESBIANS????
    Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

    "Cog dis is a bitch." -James Patterson

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    • Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
      Way to go. You should post it. I would love to read it.
      It sounds like you already have.
      Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

      Dig your own grave, and save!

      "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

      "I know that you are one of the cool and 'edgy' BYU fans" -- Wally

      GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

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      • Originally posted by falafel View Post
        It sounds like you already have.
        "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
        "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
        "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
          As part of a missionary's non-farewell non-program today, the final hymn was "I'll where you want me to go".
          Also, it's "I'll go where you want me to go".

          just a little quid pro quo: http://www.cougaruteforum.com/showpost.php?p=797836&postcount=130
          "More crazy people to Provo go than to any other town in the state."
          -- Iron County Record. 23 August, 1912. (http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lc...23/ed-1/seq-4/)

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          • Originally posted by Solon View Post
            Also, it's "I'll go where you want me to go".

            just a little quid pro quo: http://www.cougaruteforum.com/showpo...&postcount=130
            Well played. I've kept up the ruse for along time, but it's now apparent that I'm not dancer.

            [YOUTUBE]RIZdjT1472Y[/YOUTUBE]
            Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

            There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

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            • Originally posted by Blueintheface View Post
              Hmmm. Oh well, I was none the wiser and my kids loved getting involved.
              My wife and I taught primary for 3 years in Utah. For the two years we were sunbeam teachers, our kids absolutely loved when we were in charge of sharing time. I think the presidency only assigned a class to do sharing time once a month though. The presidency handled the other weeks.

              Man, I really miss that calling.

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              • Originally posted by Omaha 680 View Post
                My wife and I taught primary for 3 years in Utah. For the two years we were sunbeam teachers, our kids absolutely loved when we were in charge of sharing time. I think the presidency only assigned a class to do sharing time once a month though. The presidency handled the other weeks.

                Man, I really miss that calling.
                I do too. I never mailed it in like I'm tempted to do with my Gospel Doctrine class now. If this keeps up I might just bring crayons and construction paper and go the hangman route.
                "Either evolution or intelligent design can account for the athlete, but neither can account for the sports fan." - Robert Brault

                "Once I seen the trades go down and the other guys signed elsewhere," he said, "I knew it was my time now." - Derrick Favors

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                • I was about 10 minutes late to Sunday School today because I ran into an inactive CUFer and was involved in some deactivation efforts.

                  Anyway, I walked in late, sat down, and this was the first sentence I heard, quoted verbatim:

                  "Ammon was a good guy Limhi was a good guy too, but he was into bondage."

                  I can say with 100% certainty that this was not a purposeful double entendre.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Clark Addison View Post
                    I was about 10 minutes late to Sunday School today because I ran into an inactive CUFer and was involved in some deactivation efforts.

                    Anyway, I walked in late, sat down, and this was the first sentence I heard, quoted verbatim:

                    "Ammon was a good guy Limhi was a good guy too, but he was into bondage."

                    I can say with 100% certainty that this was not a purposeful double entendre.
                    Did you mean "reactivation" or was this person trying to unconvert you?
                    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                      Did you mean "reactivation" or was this person trying to unconvert you?
                      Oops. Don't know if I hit d by mistake or it was an auto-correct. RE-activation.

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                      • I don't know that I just learned this today, but I have started really not enjoying going to my ward.
                        Get confident, stupid
                        -landpoke

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                        • Today during Primerica, the Capo handed out a small rock to each of the children (). She asked them to take off their shoes () and then place the rock in their shoe and put it back on. Then she had everyone do a lap around the Primerica room with the rock in their shoe ().

                          Turns out really small children cry when they have rocks in their shoes hurting their feet. Also turns out that asking around 50 kids to take their shoes off winds up w.a.s.ting a ton of time as many of them dont know how to put the shoes back on. Finally, when small children have rocks, they often use them to bang on metal chairs. They are also known to throw them. At each other.

                          Yet another in a long line of object lessons that I don't think we will see again soon.
                          Fitter. Happier. More Productive.

                          sigpic

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                          • With a little bit of skill, it's possible to sneak in a Quinton Tarantino quote into your lesson about Priesthood without anyone really batting an eye. A clear indication that no one was paying attention.

                            Maybe everyone was still in shock from the ward mission leader's claim that Adam Yauch "isn't in a better place now" because he committed suicide.
                            I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

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                            • I learned that "BYU can be damaging to your faith. ... And stay away from drugs too."

                              "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                              "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                              "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

                              Comment


                              • We had Stake Conference today and as I was unsuccessful in my Mormon Bye Week discussion with my wife, we attended.

                                And I'm glad I did. It was one of the best Stake Conferences I have ever been to. They did something I have never seen before and involved people from age groups as speakers. They had some senior primary kids, youth speakers, recently returned RM, old lady, etc.

                                Over the past 6 months the stake challenge was to read the Book of Mormon and focus on learning one new precept to apply to your life. So each of the speakers was asked to testify about that.

                                Really a great meeting. Not your typical dry Stake Conf. at all.
                                "It's true that everything happens for a reason. Just remember that sometimes that reason is that you did something really, really, stupid."

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