I learned in church today

[Sleeping in EQ]

Three, three, three more hours of church. I wanna be sedated.

[Brian]

The mom of a bishopric member raised in a manner that he could "accomplish many great things."

I know him pretty well, and he's all you'd imagine him to be.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Remember the directive a few years ago about not using props in Sacrament meeting? We had a talk yesterday that blew that right out of the water. A woman in our ward gave a talk on motherhood and partway into the talk she reached down and pulled up a great big black duffel bag. Then she started pulling out various items illustrating different things she taught her kids. She started off with set of scriptures and a few books. Then she moved on to DVDs (pick wholesome movies!), a gardening shovel, cleaning supplies, etc. Eventually she pulled out a big stuffed dog. At that point I thought it couldn't get any better, but oh was I wrong. With the dog in one hand, she pulled out a big stuffed cat with the other hand and proceeded to have a simulated cat-dog fight right there on the podium. It was A.W.E.S.O.M.E. The entire podium was piled high with props. The bishopric looked horrified but they let her go. I was dying to take a photo with my phone, but I couldn't think of a way to do without everyone behind me seeing what I was doing. Dang it.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

I was dying to take a photo with my phone, but I couldn't think of a way to do without everyone behind me seeing what I was doing. Dang it.

You would have been a leader of men, everyone behind you was just waiting for an opening to take a picture but weren't sure what others would think. Had you pulled out your phone and shown the way, your congregation would have looked like a Justin Bieber sighting.

[LA Ute]

Remember the directive a few years ago about not using props in Sacrament meeting? We had a talk yesterday that blew that right out of the water. A woman in our ward gave a talk on motherhood and partway into the talk she reached down and pulled up a great big black duffel bag. Then she started pulling out various items illustrating different things she taught her kids. She started off with set of scriptures and a few books. Then she moved on to DVDs (pick wholesome movies!), a gardening shovel, cleaning supplies, etc. Eventually she pulled out a big stuffed dog. At that point I thought it couldn't get any better, but oh was I wrong. With the dog in one hand, she pulled out a big stuffed cat with the other hand and proceeded to have a simulated cat-dog fight right there on the podium. It was A.W.E.S.O.M.E. The entire podium was piled high with props. The bishopric looked horrified but they let her go. I was dying to take a photo with my phone, but I couldn't think of a way to do without everyone behind me seeing what I was doing. Dang it.

Since the anti-prop directive came out, I've just been doing impressions. My steam shovel gets lots of after-meeting compliments, but not as many as my Laban impression.

[TripletDaddy]

My wife just called and told me that the Primerica Prez wants to chat with me

Yesterday in Pri, I am sitting in my chair right before Sharing Time, as per custom, waiting for the children to file in. I am feeling good because this week was my off week.....I had taught the previous week and so my comp was up to bat this week.

The kids file in and sit down. My comp had not yet arrived. A few minutes into the meeting, he shows up and kneels by my chair to talk to me in a whispered voice. He said, "Hey, you are going to hate me but I'm just not feeling it today. I'm heading home." I asked if he was sick or if something was wrong. He responded that he was fine but that he just didn't feel like being there.

Not being one to care much about protocol and realizing that I was now in the batter's box for the lesson, I made the decision to show the kids some iPad Church vids and then spend the majority of the 40 minute class time on a walk around the chapel. My problem was solved and I was back in the mental groove of learning the song of the week (the one about liking the Earth after it rains). It was a really nice day outside and plus it would be cool to see how hard the kids could bang the hoods of some of the cars in the parking lot.

After 10 or so minutes of Sharing Time, one of the substitute Pri leaders (the usual ones were all out of town this weekend for whatever reason) takes the kneeling position in front me (not THAT, sickos!) and whispers that she has to go find a sub comp teacher for me because I am not supposed to be with the kids alone. I told her thanks but that since we were all in Sharing Time together with around 50 other people, I was fine sitting in my row with my class unaccompanied by another teacher. She asked what I was going to do for third hour and I outlined my proposed lesson plan and nature walk. I even tried to preempt her concerns by telling her that I would be outside with the kids, not in a closed door environment. I thought she would go for it but instead she dropped the hammer and said that we were not allowed to take the kids on walks. I told her that I had never heard of that and that I didn't have a lesson prepared. She offered to get me a manual but I declined. I think this confused her.

A minute or so later, another woman (I assume higher up in Primerica authority) took a knee next to me and went through the same process. I could tell immediately that we were about the same age and that she was an RM because she tried to use the commitment pattern on me () by asking me if there was any reason why I didn't want a lesson manual and whether I had a concern about my comp teacher bailing. I gave her the same honest answer I gave the previous woman....I didnt have a lesson prepared and I was planning on taking the kids on a walk. She left for a few minutes and finally returned. She went into the Church manual stuff about not going on walks (she never referenced any paragraph, though...I don't think the manual mentions it). I told her, "I will do whatever you want me to do." (not THAT, sickos!) and then she informed me that my class would be combining with the 4 year olds during the third hour. I said, "no problem."

Anyhow, word must have circled back to the Prez and now she wants to chat with me/resolve concerns. In the alternative, she may inform me that there have been complaints from ward members who are finding scratches on their cars. Whoops.

[Moliere]

There's nothing in the handbook that says you can't take walks. Also, when I taught primary there was one lesson that specifically told you to take a walk so you could look at God's creations. I think you are in the clear.

[Mormon Red Death]

My wife just called and told me that the Primerica Prez wants to chat with me

Yesterday in Pri, I am sitting in my chair right before Sharing Time, as per custom, waiting for the children to file in. I am feeling good because this week was my off week.....I had taught the previous week and so my comp was up to bat this week.

The kids file in and sit down. My comp had not yet arrived. A few minutes into the meeting, he shows up and kneels by my chair to talk to me in a whispered voice. He said, "Hey, you are going to hate me but I'm just not feeling it today. I'm heading home." I asked if he was sick or if something was wrong. He responded that he was fine but that he just didn't feel like being there.

Not being one to care much about protocol and realizing that I was now in the batter's box for the lesson, I made the decision to show the kids some iPad Church vids and then spend the majority of the 40 minute class time on a walk around the chapel. My problem was solved and I was back in the mental groove of learning the song of the week (the one about liking the Earth after it rains). It was a really nice day outside and plus it would be cool to see how hard the kids could bang the hoods of some of the cars in the parking lot.

After 10 or so minutes of Sharing Time, one of the substitute Pri leaders (the usual ones were all out of town this weekend for whatever reason) takes the kneeling position in front me (not THAT, sickos!) and whispers that she has to go find a sub comp teacher for me because I am not supposed to be with the kids alone. I told her thanks but that since we were all in Sharing Time together with around 50 other people, I was fine sitting in my row with my class unaccompanied by another teacher. She asked what I was going to do for third hour and I outlined my proposed lesson plan and nature walk. I even tried to preempt her concerns by telling her that I would be outside with the kids, not in a closed door environment. I thought she would go for it but instead she dropped the hammer and said that we were not allowed to take the kids on walks. I told her that I had never heard of that and that I didn't have a lesson prepared. She offered to get me a manual but I declined. I think this confused her.

A minute or so later, another woman (I assume higher up in Primerica authority) took a knee next to me and went through the same process. I could tell immediately that we were about the same age and that she was an RM because she tried to use the commitment pattern on me () by asking me if there was any reason why I didn't want a lesson manual and whether I had a concern about my comp teacher bailing. I gave her the same honest answer I gave the previous woman....I didnt have a lesson prepared and I was planning on taking the kids on a walk. She left for a few minutes and finally returned. She went into the Church manual stuff about not going on walks (she never referenced any paragraph, though...I don't think the manual mentions it). I told her, "I will do whatever you want me to do." (not THAT, sickos!) and then she informed me that my class would be combining with the 4 year olds during the third hour. I said, "no problem."

Anyhow, word must have circled back to the Prez and now she wants to chat with me/resolve concerns. In the alternative, she may inform me that there have been complaints from ward members who are finding scratches on their cars. Whoops.

When I taught the 6 year olds I went on a walk every sunday. The primary manuals do not have enought time filling so on sunny day we would go to the grass adjacent to the building and have races for 20 minutes. Great time killer.

[Paperback Writer]

When I taught the 6 year olds I went on a walk every sunday. The primary manuals do not have enought time filling so on sunny day we would go to the grass adjacent to the building and have races for 20 minutes. Great time killer.

I used the same tactic with my Sunbeam class. Went on 15-20 minute walks at every opportuntiy. It can be very educational. Talking about God's creations. There's the grass and trees...and clouds and Sun. Then there's the Primary color game. What are the primary colors? Who can point to something Yellow? When that gets old on to Mathematics. How many Blue cars can you count? I was lucky that the PP didn't care. They thought it cute when I marched the Sunbeams outside while they were holding hands.

But it can backfire. The following year, when the couple teaching Sunbeams quit - I was asked to teach Sunbeams again...by myself. Seems like the PP had the same attitude toward the Handbook that I had.

[Blueintheface]

I learned that teaching a lesson without sleep and while ill is a fatal mistake. One moment I'm talking about mothers and the next I'm staring up at members of the bishopric from the floor of the cultural hall. A concussion and a nasty bruse behind my ear was my Earthly reward.

I can safely say for the majority of the class members it was the best lesson they've had in months.

[Omaha 680]

I learned that teaching a lesson without sleep and while ill is a fatal mistake. One moment I'm talking about mothers and the next I'm staring up at members of the bishopric from the floor of the cultural hall. A concussion and a nasty bruse behind my ear was my Earthly reward.

I can safely say for the majority of the class members it was the best lesson they've had in months.

This reminds me of the missionary farewell I happened to attend in Nauvoo where the missionary spent half his talk talking about his experience with the website ncmo.com and then the chorister fainted during the closing hymn. Best sacrament meeting ever.

[Blueintheface]

This reminds me of the missionary farewell I happened to attend in Nauvoo where the missionary spent half his talk talking about his experience with the website ncmo.com and then the chorister fainted during the closing hymn. Best sacrament meeting ever.

The sealers at the temples must have a lot of experience with this as each of the last few times we've gone (2 different temples) they've asked us to let them know if at any point we feel faint. I guess fainting at the altar is commonplace? Who knew.

[PaloAltoCougar]

The sealers at the temples must have a lot of experience with this as each of the last few times we've gone (2 different temples) they've asked us to let them know if at any point we feel faint. I guess fainting at the altar is commonplace? Who knew.

It's weird, but the last 2-3 times I've done sealings, I started feeling very lightheaded and excused myself. It must have something to do with the way my knees are bent for an extended period. I've been relegated to being a witness, which is nice, as it requires only that I nod occasionally to convey the impression I'm being attentive.

[Portland Ute]

The sealers at the temples must have a lot of experience with this as each of the last few times we've gone (2 different temples) they've asked us to let them know if at any point we feel faint. I guess fainting at the altar is commonplace? Who knew.

My wife has fainted while doing sealings. She almost always gets light-headed. Having fainted, she knows to stop the sealer and take a break.

[Blueintheface]

My wife has fainted while doing sealings. She almost always gets light-headed. Having fainted, she knows to stop the sealer and take a break.

You'll appreciate this, the first two people to help me on Sunday were our class dentists. Thankfully they didn't begin CPR unnecessarily.

Doctors can speak to this I'm sure but I guess the kneeling position lends itself to fainting? That's the only conclusion I can see unless being overcome by the spirit is allowed in as evidence.