Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I learned in church today

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 557
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 206 256 296 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 316 356 406 557 template Next
  • #4576
    A mother shared a story from her son's mission. Apparently the son went to a members home in order to give a blessing. When the son arrived at the home, he was impressed to tell the family that he could feel satans presence in the home. He then suggested that they go into the back hard and do the blessing there. The mom expressed gratitude that her son was developing a strong ability to discern the spirit.
    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.
    sigpic

    Comment

    • #4577
      Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
      A mother shared a story from her son's mission. Apparently the son went to a members home in order to give a blessing. When the son arrived at the home, he was impressed to tell the family that he could feel satans presence in the home. He then suggested that they go into the back hard and do the blessing there. The mom expressed gratitude that her son was developing a strong ability to discern the spirit.
      Satan controls the water, so I hope the family didn't have a pool or pond in that yard.
      Get confident, stupid
      -landpoke

      Comment

      • #4578
        Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
        He then suggested that they go into the back hard and do the blessing there.
        Sounds like an FLDS blessing.
        "Wuap's "problem" is that he is smart & principled & committed to a moral course of action. His actions are supposed to reflect his ethical code.
        The rest of us rarely bother to think about our actions." --Solon

        Comment

        • #4579
          Originally posted by Jacob View Post
          Maybe I didn't learn this, but it was reiterated that helping faithful members find lost objects may be the most common way the Lord answers prayers. Maybe Joseph was on to something back in the stone and divinging rod days.
          Two lost-and-foundimonies in my ward today. And we still have 20 mins before sacrament ends.
          Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

          There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

          Comment

          • #4580
            Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
            Two lost-and-foundimonies in my ward today. And we still have 20 mins before sacrament ends.
            I lost two million dollars. Can somebody in your ward help me find it?
            "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

            Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

            Comment

            • #4581
              Originally posted by Topper View Post
              I lost two million dollars. Can somebody in your ward help me find it?
              This sounds like a scam. Sorry, just being honest.
              Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

              There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

              Comment

              • #4582
                Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
                This sounds like a scam. Sorry, just being honest.
                You can be in my downline. And I will contribute to a missionary of your choice.
                "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

                Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

                Comment

                • #4583
                  My Elder's Quorum president tried to set up a couple of visits for us right after 11:00 church today. Not quite sure how that worked out.
                  I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

                  Comment

                  • #4584
                    Originally posted by Dwight Schr-ute View Post
                    My Elder's Quorum president tried to set up a couple of visits for us right after 11:00 church today. Not quite sure how that worked out.
                    MJ cancelled choir practice and it wasn't even going to interfere with the actual game.
                    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

                    Comment

                    • #4585
                      Originally posted by Dwight Schr-ute View Post
                      My Elder's Quorum president tried to set up a couple of visits for us right after 11:00 church today. Not quite sure how that worked out.
                      We had a woman knock on our door during the game and she spent 30-40 minutes chatting with my wife in the other room about some business. She said, "Oh, I don't like to watch the Super Bowl." That's swell, lady. But why assume that everyone else is just like you?
                      "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                      "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                      "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

                      Comment

                      • #4586
                        Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                        We had a woman knock on our door during the game and she spent 30-40 minutes chatting with my wife in the other room about some business. She said, "Oh, I don't like to watch the Super Bowl." That's swell, lady. But why assume that everyone else is just like you?
                        Someone knocked on my door but we didn't answer. Of course, we never do. We like to spend time together as a family on Sundays.
                        "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
                        "I honestly believe saying someone is a smart lawyer is damning with faint praise. The smartest people become engineers and scientists." -SU.
                        "Yet I still see wisdom in that which Uncle Ted posts." -creek.
                        GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

                        Comment

                        • #4587
                          Originally posted by Uncle Ted View Post
                          Someone knocked on my door but we didn't answer. Of course, we never do. We like to spend time together as a family on Sundays.
                          I knocked on someone's door but I had been invited as well as half the ward to a Super Bowl party. Pretty much all the ward leadership were there and the Diet Coke and DDP were flowing like crazy.
                          "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

                          Comment

                          • #4588
                            Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                            I knocked on someone's door but I had been invited as well as half the ward to a Super Bowl party. Pretty much all the ward leadership were there and the Diet Coke and DDP were flowing like crazy.
                            There was a big to do or two in my ward as well. We'd already planned on a private family deal, however. At least until my daughter, on a whim, invited another family over without consulting us. She was nearly sent to the executioner over that one.
                            Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

                            Comment

                            • #4589
                              Originally posted by Uncle Ted View Post
                              Someone knocked on my door but we didn't answer. Of course, we never do. We like to spend time together as a family on Sundays.
                              But what if it is someone coming to join your party?

                              Perhaps you have a camera on your front porch.
                              "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                              "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                              "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

                              Comment

                              • #4590
                                Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                                We had a woman knock on our door during the game and she spent 30-40 minutes chatting with my wife in the other room about some business. She said, "Oh, I don't like to watch the Super Bowl." That's swell, lady. But why assume that everyone else is just like you?
                                After having had some entertaining games these past few years, this one was quite disappointing. Seeing that it might be Manning's last, I was hoping he'd have a better showing.

                                Some people don't get the point that there are social times when you ask if it is convenient.
                                "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

                                Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

                                Comment

                                Previous 1 206 256 296 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 316 356 406 557 template Next
                                Working...
                                X