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I learned in church today

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  • i learned that the primary presidency can hear everything i say in my sunbeam class.
    my wife told me they were wondering why i called our snacks "magic crackers".
    I intend to live forever.
    So far, so good.
    --Steven Wright

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    • Originally posted by Bo Diddley View Post
      I've actually thought about it because I don't like to write on the board. It would probably be just one slide for the whole class. But if it were on a one-eye, that wouldn't work too well in a church class.
      My replacement in GD uses slides t to great success. But she's not bound by the order and will freelance a bit.
      Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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      • Originally posted by lambdacoug View Post
        This isn't really something I learned in church but I'd really like to know why I got a letter from the church stating I donated $300 to them in 2013 including my membership record number. I resigned and had my name removed from their records 5 years ago.
        Even if you paid on net, I still think you would be below the poverty level.
        Do Your Damnedest In An Ostentatious Manner All The Time!
        -General George S. Patton

        I'm choosing to mostly ignore your fatuity here and instead overwhelm you with so much data that you'll maybe, just maybe, realize that you have reams to read on this subject before you can contribute meaningfully to any conversation on this topic.
        -DOCTOR Wuap

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        • Originally posted by lambdacoug View Post
          This isn't really something I learned in church but I'd really like to know why I got a letter from the church stating I donated $300 to them in 2013 including my membership record number. I resigned and had my name removed from their records 5 years ago.
          So that's where the missing $300 is. I will board mail you my membership number.

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          • Originally posted by Goatnapper'96 View Post
            Even if you paid on net, I still think you would be below the poverty level.
            It was a rough year.
            Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
            - Howard Aiken

            Any sufficiently complicated platform contains an ad hoc, informally-specified, bug-ridden, slow implementation of half of a functional programming language.
            - Variation on Greenspun's Tenth Rule

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            • Adam and Eve were most likely democrats when they were in the garden of Eden given that everything was provided for them.
              "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
              "I honestly believe saying someone is a smart lawyer is damning with faint praise. The smartest people become engineers and scientists." -SU.
              "Yet I still see wisdom in that which Uncle Ted posts." -creek.
              GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

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              • Originally posted by Uncle Ted View Post
                Adam and Eve were most likely democrats when they were in the garden of Eden given that everything was provided for them.
                Lol

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                • The sky is God's canvas for painting, literally.

                  Also God's most amazing creation is your kids, or nature. Pretty much a toss up.
                  Get confident, stupid
                  -landpoke

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                  • Moses wrote the book of genesis
                    "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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                    • Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                      Moses wrote the book of genesis
                      We got that today also.
                      Get confident, stupid
                      -landpoke

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                      • We had a lesson about Christ today in HP group. It was a nice change. I wish the church would focus more on the New Testament and Christ and less on all the other stuff.

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                        • Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                          Moses wrote the book of genesis
                          Yet another of the reasons why I don't go to GD.
                          Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
                          God forgives many things for an act of mercy
                          Alessandro Manzoni

                          Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

                          pelagius

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                          • Originally posted by pellegrino View Post
                            Yet another of the reasons why I don't go to GD.
                            The exact same thing was taught 4 years ago. I distinctly remember sitting in GD and someone asked the same question and the whole class answered "Moses". Sometimes I wish I was the GD teacher so I could create an awkward pause and then ask "Really?" and see if any hidden biblical scholars come out of the woodwork.

                            We also watched some old video where it was reinforced that the creation happened spiritually in some other place before it happened physically.
                            "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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                            • I learned that I'm a little stuck up. We just moved and yesterday was our first week in our new ward. I'm sure it's full of wonderful people, but I left the parking lot feeling like it was going to be an uphill climb to find "suitable" friends. WTF?

                              It was a good wake up call.
                              Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

                              "Cog dis is a bitch." -James Patterson

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                              • Originally posted by Green Monstah View Post
                                I learned that I'm a little stuck up. We just moved and yesterday was our first week in our new ward. I'm sure it's full of wonderful people, but I left the parking lot feeling like it was going to be an uphill climb to find "suitable" friends. WTF?

                                It was a good wake up call.
                                You moved to Oklahoma right?
                                "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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