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I learned in church today

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  • Originally posted by Mormon Red Death View Post
    I guess generals don't really care for soldiers
    Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2
    If we did away with our byzantine physical expectations then more of the womenfolk could qualify to be those Generals and all our problems would be solved!
    Do Your Damnedest In An Ostentatious Manner All The Time!
    -General George S. Patton

    I'm choosing to mostly ignore your fatuity here and instead overwhelm you with so much data that you'll maybe, just maybe, realize that you have reams to read on this subject before you can contribute meaningfully to any conversation on this topic.
    -DOCTOR Wuap

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    • Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
      Official letter from Church HQ read over the pulpit in Utah wards today. Basically said that the church is still against gay marriage and they will not perform gay marriages and nobody should use a church building for a gay reception.
      Here is the letter:

      http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/articl...e-sex-marriage

      SALT LAKE CITY —
      Following recent court actions bearing on same-sex marriage, the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles today sent the following instructions and guidance to congregational leaders throughout the United States. Leaders were asked to share this information with their members in appropriate settings.
      Looks like our bishop read selected parts of it. Including the ban on gay receptions.
      "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
      "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
      "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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      • PowerPoint is not an effective tool in Gospel Doctrine
        "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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        • Talks on genealogy are always boring.
          Get confident, stupid
          -landpoke

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          • adults and youth alike were advised today to refrain from taking, sending, or receiving "selfies." An additional admonition was given to YM, that they would refrain from taking, sending, or receiving "welfies," which apparently are selfies taken while working out.

            Also, usage of the word "selfie" has increased 17,000% over the last year.
            Fitter. Happier. More Productive.

            sigpic

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            • This isn't really something I learned in church but I'd really like to know why I got a letter from the church stating I donated $300 to them in 2013 including my membership record number. I resigned and had my name removed from their records 5 years ago.
              Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
              - Howard Aiken

              Any sufficiently complicated platform contains an ad hoc, informally-specified, bug-ridden, slow implementation of half of a functional programming language.
              - Variation on Greenspun's Tenth Rule

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              • Originally posted by lambdacoug View Post
                This isn't really something I learned in church but I'd really like to know why I got a letter from the church stating I donated $300 to them in 2013 including my membership record number. I resigned and had my name removed from their records 5 years ago.
                Looks like a calamity of errors. One, a ward clerk did not get around to cleaning out the cobwebs from the membership records. Two, a clerk entered a donation to you instead of the person above or below your record in the computer. (it happens) The third error would be if you don't report the error so the poor sucker who really donated would get credit.

                As you know, in volunteer callings, the efficiency factor of any given ward is about 50%. Our ward is about 40% effective.
                Last edited by clackamascoug; 01-12-2014, 03:25 PM.

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                • Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
                  adults and youth alike were advised today to refrain from taking, sending, or receiving "selfies." An additional admonition was given to YM, that they would refrain from taking, sending, or receiving "welfies," which apparently are selfies taken while working out.

                  Also, usage of the word "selfie" has increased 17,000% over the last year.
                  Lol. Next time I work out I will send the wife a welfie. Was this specific to the ward or is this church wide counsel?

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                  • Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                    PowerPoint is not an effective tool in Gospel Doctrine
                    Was this an opinion that someone offered, or an observation?
                    Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
                    God forgives many things for an act of mercy
                    Alessandro Manzoni

                    Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

                    pelagius

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                    • Originally posted by pellegrino View Post
                      Was this an opinion that someone offered, or an observation?
                      My observation that I kept to myself given that a good friend is our new GD teacher. It felt more like a business presentation and really restricted the class since everything had to be brought back to the topic on the next slide.
                      "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by lambdacoug View Post
                        This isn't really something I learned in church but I'd really like to know why I got a letter from the church stating I donated $300 to them in 2013 including my membership record number. I resigned and had my name removed from their records 5 years ago.
                        Some people show their concern for the lost sheep by praying for them. Others pay tithing for them. Those $300 are saying "You are loved and missed. Come home, brother."
                        τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

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                        • The Urim and Thummin was much like a GPS unit.

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                          • Originally posted by RC Vikings View Post
                            The Urim and Thummin was much like a GPS unit.
                            Did they confuse the U&T with the liahona?
                            Get confident, stupid
                            -landpoke

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                            • Originally posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
                              Did they confuse the U&T with the liahona?
                              He was pretty sure it was the U&T and several HP nodded their head in agreement.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                                My observation that I kept to myself given that a good friend is our new GD teacher. It felt more like a business presentation and really restricted the class since everything had to be brought back to the topic on the next slide.
                                I've actually thought about it because I don't like to write on the board. It would probably be just one slide for the whole class. But if it were on a one-eye, that wouldn't work too well in a church class.

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