I learned in church today

[Mormon Red Death]

We are in the 5th talk, all have been focused on Sabbath observance. I should be good for the next 100 years.

I wonder though, how many of the brethren here will be going home and watching football? 50%? 75%?

FWIW, one speaker specifically mentioned not watching sports on TV.

95%

[cowboy]

I learned that Elder Ballard is awesome, and never to buy my wife shoes.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I learned that Elder Ballard is awesome, and never to buy my wife shoes.

Loved that talk.

[wuapinmon]

Second time this month we've heard about keeping Sunday meals simple and prepare them on Sat if possible. Is this a thing?

Yes, the global theme to reinforce this year is keeping the Sabbath. It's going to get worse before it gets better.

[Topper]

Dear President Bednar,

I'm pleased to hear of your new assignment as the World Wide Web Mission President. Some of my Elders here on CS speculated it would be you, but I didn't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed with a newbie Apostle. Tender Mercies indeed! I'm glad for a President who can see the world as I do. Let me fill you in on some of the latest goings on here in my District.

Elder Waup has picked up his activity, and seems to be more in love with the F-word more than ever. His hyper-intelligence seems to greenlight vulgarity and courseness, but I'm sure he's golden in his heart. Elder Lebowski and Elder DDD continue to challenge my authority. I've paired them together in the Town Hall section, where they will do the least harm. Now if we could just get them to turn their sarconisism into some door knocking, we might just bloom here in the desert. Elder HFN is growing everyday, and is stalwart in all counts. I suggest you look to him as a future District Leader, and Zone leader eventually.

Well, I've got to get back to tracting - if there's any advice you need about the Internet, please let me know. Either me or Elder Santos can help you out.

Regards,

Elder clackamascoug.

Dear Elder C:

I have a copy of Sports Illustrated you may wish to have. Btw there is a sister missionary who would like to meet you.

T

[Donuthole]

Second time this month we've heard about keeping Sunday meals simple and prepare them on Sat if possible. Is this a thing?

shouldn't be a problem for you; it takes little to no effort to overcook hamburgers.

[CardiacCoug]

Just amazes me that people read the New Testament and consider themselves the one true Christians and then think that of all the things Jesus would want us to be talking about and thinking about it would be the rules for what you can and cannot do on the Sabbath Day. Seriously WTF are people thinking?

[falafel]

In sacrament meeting, a 13 year old deacon called Satan a "liar and a loser." He later mentioned that his 14 year old sister would look good in a crop top.

[wuapinmon]

Today was one of those days at church that makes me question why I still go there. We had a sacrament talk about being good, and a portion was devoted to the evils of pornography. So, I sent this email to my bishopric.

Dear Bishop and Bros X & Y

Tone is hard to measure in email, so please know that I'm not angry, but I am being serious (for once).


I hate discussions of pornography (even the mention of the word) in front of pre-pubescent children. Our addiction to discussing porn addiction at church can lead to awkward questions from little ones who hear a word that people seem to worry about, and that could invite curiosity into such matters into my home. I do not believe that there is ever a need to hasten the loss of innocence in our wee ones by having adults talking about it from the pulpit during Sacrament--at least in Conference they wait until Priesthood meeting, when the bairn aren't there, before the biannual lambasting, couching the regular session mentions of it in euphemisms like "immorality" and "unclean images."

I know that pornography is a problem. But, enough already with our cavalier attitude about discussing it front of others. The internet and curiosity and a google search are all that are required to take a child's innocent wondering and turn them into a sexual being, a change from which there is no going back. Is porn such a plague that we need to risk sullying the innocent with its discussion in public? I'd argue that every single Mormon knows that porn is a problem for Mormons. I don't think it's possible to attend our church and not know this. But, there is a time and place for that discussion, and it's in quorum meetings. If this were anywhere but an LDS church people would be disgusted that someone chose that topic to address in front of little children.


I'd like it if yall could instruct speakers to knock it off. I've not spoken with Brother Z (and I don't think I will) because I don't want to offend him, and I think that a change like this (like anything in the LDS Church) has to come from the top. My telling him that his talk was grossly inappropriate (especially when he's heard countless others do it) will have no effect other than create rancor between us. He likely believes that it was a touchy subject (no pun intended) that he needed to broach, but I think we have cultural blindness about this.

Mac

Also, today at church, I heard:


1. Someone complain about how people felt no shame anymore, mentioning that it used to be shameful to have divorced parents.


2. Someone state that divorce was rampant in society and people don't even try to work it out anymore, that they don't stick together for the kids, and a few other suppositions about other people's relationships.


3. A group of grown men in EQ talking about porn and acting like none of them had ever seen any, that it was a sin that others struggled with, with no one being real or authentic--the comments were sweeping generalizations, all in the second person. I imagined what it might be like to be a young man or young missionary sitting in that room with a bunch of men who are married acting like this temptation was this easy thing to resist at their age. So, instead, I told them that I found my father's porn collection, by accident, when I was 13 ( he was an exquisite curator) and was immediately hooked, got baptized at 17 and no one asked me or taught me about porn or masturbation. I was taught to keep the Law of Chastity, or not have sex with someone I wasn't married to. I was a virgin with no chance of not being one, so I said "yes, I kept it' in my baptismal interview. Then, when I went in for my Aaronic priesthood interview, my bishop asked me if it was a problem. It had never been a problem until that moment. I was shocked, embarrassed, mortified, and, I lied to him and said "No." No adult had ever asked me, a youth, about my sex life in such a pointed way. I felt a guilt that cannot be described accurately. I told them all that that guilt was a powerful thing and it made me question my worth as a human being, if God even loved me. I also said that insinuating that you never had a problem with it, if you did, is hypocrisy. I judged the hanging heads when I was done as proof that people only like to talk about porn when it's not personal. Make it personal, and real, and talk one with another concerning the welfare of your souls, and everyone gets uncomfortable. Making young men think you never did something that every.single.man struggles with is bullshit, and I've had enough.

4. Someone state that they knew three women who divorced their husbands because of their "porn addictions."

5. Someone say that porn was the exact.same.thing as adultery, and, therefore, akin to murder.

6. Someone say that if we started excommunicating porn viewers, porn wouldn't be a problem. I wanted to say, "That's how women will get the priesthood," but, I didn't.

7. Someone say that if we go into bad places, people could see us, and people will talk, adding, "If I see someone from the ward going into a liquor store, even though I wouldn't, I'd be tempted to tell someone." Another man, father to a young lady who is of a different race and who is strikingly good looking, said, "Yes, people glare at me in Wal-Mart when my daughter and I go shopping, thinking that we're interracial and I'm a dirty old man." The person who made the original comment said, "Well, that's not right." I wanted to scream, "THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST SAID."

Church today, literally, gave me a migraine.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

If you pay your tithing and work for a good company like Pepsi you should tell your supervisor when you are quitting to go on a mission. Pepsi gave a check for half the cost of the persons mission and then the supervisor added to that by writing a personal check for the remainder on top of the check from the company.

[jay santos]

We had a bye yesterday with regional conference. If I would have gone, this is what I would have learned.

“Another concern I have is you live so close to Church headquarters that some of you may have become casual in listening to the Lord's servants,” Elder Ballard said. An effect of this attitude is choosing to miss sessions of stake and general conference, seeing that time as time-off from Church assignments.

[LVAllen]

We had a bye yesterday with regional conference. If I would have gone, this is what I would have learned.

Our regional conference (broadcast) in in November. Thanks for passing on the message so that I don't have to watch.

[Jeff Lebowski]

We had a bye yesterday with regional conference. If I would have gone, this is what I would have learned.

Not only that, but he followed it up by implying that people use this time to listen to podcasts, read blogs, attend other church services, etc. that present an unfaithful view of the church. I leaned over to my wife and whispered "That's funny. That is not what people do on a bye week."

In spite of that, you missed an outstanding talk. I am not typically fond of his talks, but this one was very good overall.

[TripletDaddy]

we were told at the beginning of the broadcast to turn off all electronic devices.

lol!

[cowboy]

we were told at the beginning of the broadcast to turn off all electronic devices.

lol!

I found nothing funny about it. Sister Buzzkill (yes, I stole the phrase from an epic PAC cb post) beside me did her best to make me comply. Every time I looked at my phone I got the death stare. I leaned back just in time the last time she glared at me, and the lady sitting next to me disintegrated into a pile of ashes.