Post tithing settlement thoughts...

[Clark Addison]

I don't really mind tithing settlement, but I am not that motivated to go, either. Last year I waited until the Exec Sec called me to schedule. We have a new Exec Sec this year, and I am kind of hoping he forgets about me. Especially because the WML was talking about missionary work last Sunday and he said "The bishop is doing a great job committing people to do missionary work in tithing settlement." Ugh.

[Katy Lied]

DDD is right. My wife has had a tough time fitting in with our latest ward. She has felt that the RS presidency is non responsive to the needs of a large group of sisters in the ward. She decided to speak to the bishop about starting a few initiatives that she had floated by the RS presidency and basically got a "We don't do that in this ward" response. I expressed my reluctance at the idea, that it could backfire and label her as a project and suggested that instead she bring it up directly with the RS president one on one, offering to spearhead the initiative. She felt strongly that the thing to do was to talk to the bishop.

Needless to say within a week the RS president (who had never even so much as called her before) had reached out to her a few times with token gestures of "I just want to make sure your needs are met" and it was very clear that information had been exchanged through back channels. She was upset (furious really) let the RS president have it and has now began looking elsewhere in our neighborhood community for the support that normally she would get through the RS. It's kind of a crappy situation.

So Pellegrino, I think enough time has passed for me to ask:

Why was your wife so furious? She told the Bishop the RS President was ignoring her needs, the Bishop told the RS President to quit ignoring your wife's (and other women) needs, the RS President probably swallowed her pride and promptly came to her to ask how she can do better, and your wife castigated her and went elsewhere? Then what was her purpose of talking to the Bishop? To get the RS President fired?

[Donuthole]

So Pellegrino, I think enough time has passed for me to ask:

Why was your wife so furious? She told the Bishop the RS President was ignoring her needs, the Bishop told the RS President to quit ignoring your wife's (and other women) needs, the RS President probably swallowed her pride and promptly came to her to ask how she can do better, and your wife castigated her and went elsewhere? Then what was her purpose of talking to the Bishop? To get the RS President fired?

[mtnbiker]

Our family had T-Sett on Saturday morning. At around 7:30AM

This year seemed like the first year that they didn't even give us any docs before we walked in. I asked the Bish and he said he isnt doing that anymore. All he needs is a Yes or No.

I also noticed that he had a flat screen TV installed on his wall and I noticed a cable leading into it from the wall outlet.

I like my Bish.

I guess that explains it. Last week the exec sec called to schedule us to meet at 8:20 Sunday evening. At church on Sunday, we were there well before the block of mtgs started, the bish came over to say hi, and my wife jokingly suggested that we just declare our status and not bother to come back in the evening. The bish said ok, leaned over and quietly asked our status and said we were done.

[Viking]

why isn't there "law of chastity settlement"? or "word of wisdom settlement"?

[Pelado]

why isn't there "law of chastity settlement"? or "word of wisdom settlement"?

Because the Bishop doesn't necessarily keep a log of the ward members' sexual activity for the year.

[Eddie]

What the ...? I know the average contributor in your ward likely pays more tithing than my ward combined, but still. Bishops in Utah get the NFL package?!?

I guess that explains it. Last week the exec sec called to schedule us to meet at 8:20 Sunday evening. At church on Sunday, we were there well before the block of mtgs started, the bish came over to say hi, and my wife jokingly suggested that we just declare our status and not bother to come back in the evening. The bish said ok, leaned over and quietly asked our status and said we were done.

That's great.

An older woman in our ward gave the Bishop her tithing. He asked if she had signed up for a tithing settlement appointment yet - mostly being friendly and making small talk. She responded with "Can't I just tell you I paid it now?"

And just like that she was done...

[wuapinmon]

Why is a temple recommend every two years, but tithing settlement every year?

[Green Monstah]

Last year, I asked my bishop point-blank: what is the point of tithing settlement? It seems like it's just a way to pressure people to pay tithing.

He said, "I don't scrutinize people's statements, I think it's sort of the return and report principle taught in the temple."

Okay, well, why do we need to return and report on this one thing if it isn't designed to increase revenue? It just rubs me the wrong way, but it's fairly harmless to me. I can imagine if someone is struggling with paying their tithing they may view it as a little more harmful. I just feel like the last thing a lot of Mormons need is guilt and pressure.

[The_Tick]

I look back on this thread and some of my answers have been confirmed, and some have caused me to rethink.

1. Sharing with the Bishop isn't safe....when his FIL is the SP. Other than that, it is okay.

2. My fears were confirmed as I was released from my calling with the youth < 60 days later.

3. I spoke in Church a month ago and was more honest that I probably should have been about my lack of desire and commitment sometimes. This earned me a man hug from the SP (I didn't know he was going to be there, but it was good that he heard what I had to say.)

4. Bishop wants to meet with me and TW on Sunday morning to extend a new calling to me.

I am in a better place now than I was a year ago. Not where I used to be, but better than where I was.

[Sullyute]

I look back on this thread and some of my answers have been confirmed, and some have caused me to rethink.

1. Sharing with the Bishop isn't safe....when his FIL is the SP. Other than that, it is okay.

2. My fears were confirmed as I was released from my calling with the youth < 60 days later.

3. I spoke in Church a month ago and was more honest that I probably should have been about my lack of desire and commitment sometimes. This earned me a man hug from the SP (I didn't know he was going to be there, but it was good that he heard what I had to say.)

4. Bishop wants to meet with me and TW on Sunday morning to extend a new calling to me.

I am in a better place now than I was a year ago. Not where I used to be, but better than where I was.

Tick, I love reading your posts. You are incredibly frank and sincere in your faith, doubts, and opinions. I really appreciate your honesty.

[Green Monstah]

Tick, I love reading your posts. You are incredibly frank and sincere in your faith, doubts, and opinions. I really appreciate your honesty.

Agreed.

Tick, I'm glad you're in a better spot. I'm in a better spot vis-a-vis the church than I have been since just after my mission (in part because of apathy; in part because of perspective).

[Portland Ute]

So, I was recently made the ward financial clerk.

This is my first Tithing Settlement as a clerk.

I have found this process to be very uncomfortable and I struggle to see the point of having tithing settlement. I am very uncomfortable with seeing my neighbors contributions. It feels...well...icky is the best way I can say it.

We don't need to declare we are observing the Word or Wisdom or the Law of Chastity once a year...at a Temple Rec appointment usually suffices. Why is being a full tithe payer any different?

Functionally, a clerk could distribute the donation report and members could notify him of any corrections that need to be made. Completely separate from the meeting with the bishop.

Also, there is zero reason that donations need to be made at tithing settlement instead of being done in the usual manner.

Also, why do you have to declare you are a full tithe payer in December? Why can't the bishop do that on a rolling basis during the year and let families (his and his bishopric's, most importantly) have more time during the year.

If I could wave a magic wand, this is what I would do...

Get rid of "tithing settlement". (WTF are we "settling," anyway?")

The bishop, on a yearly basis meets with each family for 20 or 30 minutes in his office. This could be done so that every week, he meets with one or two families. (Imagine this instead of having the entire bishopric sit on their ass in a small room for 20 hours over two or three Sundays during the Holidays!)

The first Sunday in December, the Ward Clerk distributes individual donation statement for the year to all members. With it, a letter stating that the ward clerk should be notified of any inaccuries that the member feels need to be reported and corrected.

The Ward Clerk then makes any changes as requested (during normal Sunday data entry).

Any contributions can be made in the standard way. Give it to a bishopric member and it will get deposited/entered in the standard deposit on Sundays.

In January, the Ward Clerk hands out the official record of contributions for tax purposes. (This is already done.)

[jay santos]

I look back on this thread and some of my answers have been confirmed, and some have caused me to rethink.

1. Sharing with the Bishop isn't safe....when his FIL is the SP. Other than that, it is okay.

2. My fears were confirmed as I was released from my calling with the youth < 60 days later.

3. I spoke in Church a month ago and was more honest that I probably should have been about my lack of desire and commitment sometimes. This earned me a man hug from the SP (I didn't know he was going to be there, but it was good that he heard what I had to say.)

4. Bishop wants to meet with me and TW on Sunday morning to extend a new calling to me.

I am in a better place now than I was a year ago. Not where I used to be, but better than where I was.

I'm much different than you. I see no reason to discuss any of these sorts of issues with a bishop or SP and see (and have seen) only bad come of it. But I'm happy it works for other people, and I should try to see the process through others' eyes.

[Green Monstah]

Why is a temple recommend every two years, but tithing settlement every year?

This rivals Creeksters summon in awesomeness.