I learned in church today

[Moliere]

Next time tell the person requesting help that the should expect no more than 1-2 people to show up. Then they can adequately plan how many paid movers they'll need to hire.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

Next time tell the person requesting help that the should expect no more than 1-2 people to show up. Then they can adequately plan how many paid movers they'll need to hire.

Yep. If you expect a blanket invitation in a meeting that hardly any one is paying attention will be enough to cover your need of manual labor, then you too fit more in the "lazy" classification than the person who doesn't rearrange their Saturday to help someone they hardly know save a few bucks. I do acknowledge that there are indeed situations fitting this criteria in which there is an actual need but those, in my experience, are the minority. Too often these are looked at by leadership as quorum building exercises.

[chrisrenrut]

A sister missionary serving in our stake that has become well liked was transferred last week. Our Bishop saw her the night before she was leaving, approached her to tell her how much he/we would miss her. He went to give her a hug, and then caught himself and apologized to her for almost forgetting protocol.

She answered "You have no idea how weird it is to have so many old men want to hug you".

He laughed, and replied "You have no idea how weird it is to be called an old man".

[Katy Lied]

Our High Council speaker was named Nelson. He brought along as a companion speaker his brother. Bro was late, and ran up to the stand right before the opening song began. The bishopric member conducting the meeting said: "Well, we were afraid that we would only get a half-nelson for sacrament today, but it looks like we have the full nelson instead."

[SoCalCoug]

Our High Council speaker was named Nelson. He brought along as a companion speaker his brother. Bro was late, and ran up to the stand right before the opening song began. The bishopric member conducting the meeting said: "Well, we were afraid that we would only get a half-nelson for sacrament today, but it looks like we have the full nelson instead."

Definitely a sacrament meeting-funny joke.

[Copelius]

Best sacrament meeting joke by the person conducting was when the pipes were frozen. They decided to limit church to sacrament and had to close all the restrooms because of the pipes (a regular occurrence in Fairbanks). The counselor got up and told everybody the situation and not to use the restrooms and then added, "But don't worry, we only filled the sacrament cups half way." The look on the Bishop's face was priceless.

[Non Sequitur]

Best line I ever heard from someone at Church was during an institute class when a kid in the class kept challenging the instructor on the instructor's quote of a Church leader. The back and forth continued until the instructor calmly replied, "Unfortunately, unlike you, I am not handicapped by an ignorance of the facts."

[SCcoug]

Our HC speaker just quoted the entirety of "Follow The Prophet" as if it were great poetry.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

Best line I ever heard from someone at Church was during an institute class when a kid in the class kept challenging the instructor on the instructor's quote of a Church leader. The back and forth continued until the instructor calmly replied, "Unfortunately, unlike you, I am not handicapped by an ignorance of the facts."

Do you remember the quote or subject matter of it?

[All-American]

Good line from church today. They were talking about genealogies and somebody said they had trace their line all the way back to Adam. They also said that Adam's temple work had not been done. The teacher said it's pretty well-documented that he has had his endowment.

[Jeff Lebowski]

"If the issue you are facing isn't going to make any difference to your future self ten years down the road, chill the heck out."

[Uncle Ted]

Bruce R said Zion wasn't in Utah but in Texas.

[CardiacCoug]

"You know the atonement is meaningful in your life if you're the first one to sign up when they pass around sign-up sheets for things in Relief Society and Priesthood."

[old_gregg]

our ward needs to average 40 testimonies each f&t meeting to comply with appropriate levels of spirituality. the bishop was the one who said it too.

[Green Monstah]

gave a talk today on work for the dead. Called an audible on content because there were roughly 10 non-members in attendance, and I remember being confused by the term baptisms for the dead when I was a kid. Nailed it, but got a stern warning from the full time CES guy in our area that I need to tone it down or risk being called to early morning seminary. Duly noted.