I learned in church today

[Clark Addison]

I like my ward.

I got an email today from our HP Secretary that says, in part:

We look forward to meeting with you for the combined 3rd hour meeting this coming Sunday, July 29th. We will be discussing and practicing responding to questions that our friends, neighbors, and media may have about our Church and beliefs.

I like my ward because they tell me in advance that the third hour this week will combine two of my least favorite things: role playing and member missionary work. Now I have some time to think of a way out of it.

[Topper]

Your fitness directer hereby instructs you to do something for your heart. At exactly that hour, you will be required to (a) go for a run, or (b) watch the Olympics so you can observe proper form of the Olympic swimmers.

Tell them, you have the note from a health care professional excusing you from the third hour.

[Clark Addison]

Today I learned that Parrot Head is scheduled to speak today. It is currently 3 minutes past the hour, we are singing the opening hymn, and Parrot Head is nowhere to be seen.

The bishop looks nervous.

[pellegrino]

that if we didn't have the Book of Mormon then we couldn't know the Gospel of Jesus Christ, which might have made Christ's work useless.

[PaloAltoCougar]

Today I learned that Parrot Head is scheduled to speak today. It is currently 3 minutes past the hour, we are singing the opening hymn, and Parrot Head is nowhere to be seen.

The bishop looks nervous.

Let me know when/if they arrive. PH's wife has been having some trouble with their newborn, and he just finished the 24 Hours of Booty all-night ride, so they'll probably have lots of great excuses. Pay them no mind.

[Clark Addison]

They made it.

I have learned that PAC's gift with words is at least partially genetic. His daughter just knocked it out of the park with her talk.

Lots of pressure on Parrot Head.

[Clark Addison]

Parrot Head just told us that "life is not like Settlers of Catan". Several confused looks in the congregation. I think they just assume this is deep doctrine with which they are not familiar.

I restrained myself from showing out "Nerd!!"

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

Parrot Head just told us that "life is not like Settlers of Catan". Several confused looks in the congregation. I think they just assume this is deep doctrine with which they are not familiar.

I restrained myself from showing out "Nerd!!"

You should have shouted "This is not the Board Game Thread on CUF!".

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

I just learned that In-N-Out is delicious, it was said over the pulpit so it has to be true.

[DU Ute]

Parrot Head just told us that "life is not like Settlers of Catan". Several confused looks in the congregation. I think they just assume this is deep doctrine with which they are not familiar.

I restrained myself from showing out "Nerd!!"

He is right. Settlers of Catan doesn't have little cars filled with blue and pink pegs.

[TexTechCoug]

I learned that some people in my ward are a combination of ultra rude and clueless.

Sister Rude, who I have never met, says to me "I hear you work at xxxxx."
TexTech "Yes, I just started, I work in the same group as Brother John Doe. Do you also work there?"

Sister Rude "No, I hate xxxxxx. I hear you moved from Florida, boy you are going to regret coming here."


Seriously, the members of the Church keep the Church from growing with their total lack of social graces and outright rudeness.

[sparky]

I just learned that CA, PAC, and PH are in the same ward (anyone else?) Maybe I should be doing some CUF missionary work at church.

[wuapinmon]

People are messing up the numbers of Sacrament meeting attendance by coming after the count is made. Oh, and numbers aren't important.

[The_Douger]

Apparently, the BSA is God's program. So I heard today in church.

[DU Ute]

Apparently, the BSA is God's program. So I heard today in church.

They must be FOS