Embarrassing things you did as an uber Mormon

[Green Monstah]

I shouldn't even write this. I was the biggest dick as a missionary. I felt like I had to live up to some standard and boy I went at it with all my might.

Anyway, I had a really lax district who were basically a compilation of the mission screw-offs, and I wanted to really get them off their butts and working. My solution? In district meeting I reminded them of a particular covenant re: consecration they made in the temple and wouldn't end the meeting until each missionary responded in the affirmative to the question: "Will you consecrate yourself completely this week." If everyone had been on board, it may have gone off like over-zealous missionary rah-rah, but three of the missionaries were recalcitrant, and I made them say "yes" just to make myself feel better.

I would never do it over, but I sure wish I could....

[The_Tick]

I shouldn't even write this. I was the biggest dick as a missionary. I felt like I had to live up to some standard and boy I went at it with all my might.

Anyway, I had a really lax district who were basically a compilation of the mission screw-offs, and I wanted to really get them off their butts and working. My solution? In district meeting I reminded them of a particular covenant re: consecration they made in the temple and wouldn't end the meeting until each missionary responded in the affirmative to the question: "Will you consecrate yourself completely this week." If everyone had been on board, it may have gone off like over-zealous missionary rah-rah, but three of the missionaries were recalcitrant, and I made them say "yes" just to make myself feel better.

I would never do it over, but I sure wish I could....

We wouldn't have been friends. We would still be sitting in that exact same meeting.

[Green Monstah]

We wouldn't have been friends. We would still be sitting in that exact same meeting.

Yeah, I sort of wish they had the eggs to put me in my place.

[The_Tick]

Yeah, I sort of wish they had the eggs to put me in my place.

I had a DL like that once.

I was in an area that hadn't had a baptism for 3 years. They had had 1 1st discussion in 6 months. Hadn't had an investigator at Church in a year.

I get white washed into the area. 2 weeks in we get our weekly numbers call:

Street contacts - 10
Tracting contacts - 0
1st discussions - 0
2nd discussions - 0
Other discussions - 0
Baptismal commits - 0

Okay...so Elder Tick..what goals do you and Elder F have for this week:

Street Contacts - 20
Tracting contacts - 1
1st discussions - 1
2nd discussions - 0
Other discussions - 0
Baptismal commits - 0

Dead silence... Elder...the Lord isn't going to find that acceptable. You and your comp need to pray and exercise faith.

My respose "I think we are showing great faith in 1 first discussion. They haven't had one here in 6 months."

Elder H asked us to pray about it and he would call us back and the end of his rounds.

Ring Ring

Elder H - Elder T...have you had a chance to pray and come up with better goals.

Me - Sure...

Street Contacts - 100
Tracting Contacts - 50
1st discussions - 25
2nd discussions - 15
Other discussions - 10
Baptism commitments - 10

Elder H - Elder T...you need to take your missions and your goals seriously.

Me - Do you want realistic goals...or do you want something to make the ZL and AP's happy? Because my first set were real goals. The 2nd set are for you.

Now this got me a phone call from the ZL and the AP later that night, but I stuck to my guns. I cared/care about people...not numbers. I was never in leadership because of my flipancy and I am okay with that.

But when I was transferred 5 months later we had had 3 baptisms in that area in that time. And we never taught more than 1 1st discussion in a week.

And I only got into 1 door tracting in 2 years. (And I married her just to have someone that can verify my story.)

[Maximus]

I had a DL like that once.

I was in an area that hadn't had a baptism for 3 years. They had had 1 1st discussion in 6 months. Hadn't had an investigator at Church in a year.

I get white washed into the area. 2 weeks in we get our weekly numbers call:

Street contacts - 10
Tracting contacts - 0
1st discussions - 0
2nd discussions - 0
Other discussions - 0
Baptismal commits - 0

Okay...so Elder Tick..what goals do you and Elder F have for this week:

Street Contacts - 20
Tracting contacts - 1
1st discussions - 1
2nd discussions - 0
Other discussions - 0
Baptismal commits - 0

Dead silence... Elder...the Lord isn't going to find that acceptable. You and your comp need to pray and exercise faith.

My respose "I think we are showing great faith in 1 first discussion. They haven't had one here in 6 months."

Elder H asked us to pray about it and he would call us back and the end of his rounds.

Ring Ring

Elder H - Elder T...have you had a chance to pray and come up with better goals.

Me - Sure...

Street Contacts - 100
Tracting Contacts - 50
1st discussions - 25
2nd discussions - 15
Other discussions - 10
Baptism commitments - 10

Elder H - Elder T...you need to take your missions and your goals seriously.

Me - Do you want realistic goals...or do you want something to make the ZL and AP's happy? Because my first set were real goals. The 2nd set are for you.

Now this got me a phone call from the ZL and the AP later that night, but I stuck to my guns. I cared/care about people...not numbers. I was never in leadership because of my flipancy and I am okay with that.

But when I was transferred 5 months later we had had 3 baptisms in that area in that time. And we never taught more than 1 1st discussion in a week.

And I only got into 1 door tracting in 2 years. (And I married her just to have someone that can verify my story.)

what mission?

[dabrockster]

what mission?

I'm guessing European (France)

[Moliere]

I'm guessing European (France)

He wishes. Even in France you could always go to the slums and teach as many discussions as you wanted. You could even baptize a number of people from there, but you'd be hard pressed to get them to come to church the week after their baptism. I'm guessing Tick took the respectable route and focused on people in spite of whatever inflated numbers the mission leadership wanted.

I'm not saying there are not any spiritually elect in the slums but just making the point that if someone really wanted to superficially increased numbers there are ways to do that even in Europe.

[The_Tick]

Tacoma Washington.

I wasn't a bad missionary. I could have been better.

I was good worker. I could have worked harder though.

What I experienced for baptisms in two years equals what some Spanish speaking Elders did in 1.5 months.

I am very much not a numbers person when it comes to Church. So that kinda got me in some trouble on my mission. (Funny thing though...I was the first person the AP's would call when they wanted to find out how things were "really" going in my Zone.)

To this day, when the HT person calls and asks for numbers, I give him names and talk a little about each of my families. He learned long ago that I would frustrate him this way. Now I am in the EQP and we have discussed as a Presidency that when we call we ask about each family by name and not "How many families did you visit this month." Now the question is "Who were you able to see this month, and how were the visits." It will take some getting used to, but I think we will be better for it.

[Jacob]

Now the question is "Who were you able to see this month, and how were the visits." It will take some getting used to, but I think we will be better for it.

My response: All of them. They are doing fine.

[The_Tick]

My response: All of them. They are doing fine.

And I would be fine with that. I just like the personalization of the whom instead of how many.

[dabrockster]

Tacoma Washington.

I wasn't a bad missionary. I could have been better.

I was good worker. I could have worked harder though.

What I experienced for baptisms in two years equals what some Spanish speaking Elders did in 1.5 months.

I am very much not a numbers person when it comes to Church. So that kinda got me in some trouble on my mission. (Funny thing though...I was the first person the AP's would call when they wanted to find out how things were "really" going in my Zone.)

To this day, when the HT person calls and asks for numbers, I give him names and talk a little about each of my families. He learned long ago that I would frustrate him this way. Now I am in the EQP and we have discussed as a Presidency that when we call we ask about each family by name and not "How many families did you visit this month." Now the question is "Who were you able to see this month, and how were the visits." It will take some getting used to, but I think we will be better for it.

Funny. We are taking the same approach in our Presidency. I am not a #'s person either. I hated #'s.. I was more about serving the people and impacting their lives for the better good. It worked out well...

[Green Monstah]

Tacoma Washington.

I wasn't a bad missionary. I could have been better.

I was good worker. I could have worked harder though.

What I experienced for baptisms in two years equals what some Spanish speaking Elders did in 1.5 months.

I am very much not a numbers person when it comes to Church. So that kinda got me in some trouble on my mission. (Funny thing though...I was the first person the AP's would call when they wanted to find out how things were "really" going in my Zone.)

To this day, when the HT person calls and asks for numbers, I give him names and talk a little about each of my families. He learned long ago that I would frustrate him this way. Now I am in the EQP and we have discussed as a Presidency that when we call we ask about each family by name and not "How many families did you visit this month." Now the question is "Who were you able to see this month, and how were the visits." It will take some getting used to, but I think we will be better for it.

What years were you there? I served just to the South of your mission for 1/3 of my mish (at the time, the Portland Mish...now something else).

[The_Tick]

What years were you there? I served just to the South of your mission for 1/3 of my mish (at the time, the Portland Mish...now something else).

93-95

[Mormon Red Death]

That was Time Cop, and the woman was Sloan Peterson (Mia Sara).

It was awkward.

Well beefytee which was it? Time Cop or Double Impact?

[beefytee]

Well beefytee which was it? Time Cop or Double Impact?

It was January of 1995 and I saw it in the theatre so it must have been Time Cop.