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I learned in church today

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  • Originally posted by clackamascoug View Post
    My parents had this book on the shelf when I was a kid. I browsed through it once and was disappointed.
    Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost.
    --William Blake, via Shpongle

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    • Someone needs to put together a re-release boxed set of Skousen books, complete with the dated dust jacket art styles and wacky cosmonaut-themed layouts. Natural distributors for this sort of thing would include casual-hip vendors like Hot Topic, spencers, Urban Outfitters, blue banana, rad trash, and to a lesser extent maybe the BYU Bookstore.
      Fitter. Happier. More Productive.

      sigpic

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      • Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
        Maybe poverty is a sin in the sense that a very wealthy society allows it to happen.
        I think professional athletes and actors have showed us that certain people can be broke even after having millions upon millions of dollars to their name.

        The poor we shall always have among us.

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        • I learned that my wife's cousin, who is an only child, has decided that one of the young marrieds in our ward is her sister. Not a sister-in-the-gospel, but a real sister. She mentioned this 4 times during her testimony. I was very confused and whispered to my wife about this, I am informed that this has been going on for a while.
          "Sure, I fought. I had to fight all my life just to survive. They were all against me. Tried every dirty trick to cut me down, but I beat the bastards and left them in the ditch."

          - Ty Cobb

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          • Originally posted by San Juan Sun View Post
            I learned that my wife's cousin, who is an only child, has decided that one of the young marrieds in our ward is her sister. Not a sister-in-the-gospel, but a real sister. She mentioned this 4 times during her testimony. I was very confused and whispered to my wife about this, I am informed that this has been going on for a while.
            The truth is that she identifies as being her sister. Who are you to tell her any different?

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            • Originally posted by Bo Diddley View Post
              The truth is that she identifies as being her sister. Who are you to tell her any different?
              Who said I told her any different? I try not to argue with crazy people.
              "Sure, I fought. I had to fight all my life just to survive. They were all against me. Tried every dirty trick to cut me down, but I beat the bastards and left them in the ditch."

              - Ty Cobb

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              • I learned that that having lessons on "Keeping the Sabbath Day" can break the camel's back... Enough already...

                Sabbath day---->

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                • When you don,t get the sacrament for reasons such as Stake Conference and have them two weeks in a row can throw you in a loop. Don,t get the blessings of sacrament is what some person said. I enjoy conference Sundays as well as regular Sundays myself feel the same spirit. I guess I don't miss it when we don't get the sacrament.

                  Ga,s get it on Thursday if they are serving in Salt Lake, don,t know about Area Seventies or those serving in Area Presidencies but they may actually go weeks at a time without taking the Sacrament.

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                  • Trek recap Sunday. Bleck. Too much "ma" and "pa" for my palate.
                    I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

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                    • "As fathers we should model our behavior after Heavenly Father."

                      Seems wrong to me to disappear from our kids lives and leave no definitive evidence that we even exist at all but I guess that came straight from the ETB manual.

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                      • Originally posted by CardiacCoug View Post
                        "As fathers we should model our behavior after Heavenly Father."

                        Seems wrong to me to disappear from our kids lives and leave no definitive evidence that we even exist at all but I guess that came straight from the ETB manual.
                        Have you learned nothing from the Footprints in the Sand poem?

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                        • A very active family from our ward is moving across country and spoke at sacrament today. The father spoke of his father going hunting alone when he was a teen some forty years ago and learning that his father was killed by a shot from far away. They never found out who shot him. He talked of watching the news and seeing authorities carrying a body bag that carried his father and how gut wrenching it was. His topic was forgiveness and how he had to speak at his fathers funeral and prayed beforehand to have forgiveness so he could move on with his life. You could have heard a pin drop as he spoke in front of the 300 or so members. You think you know people but this floored me. This guy has made a life his father would be proud of.

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                          • Homecoming of a RM, he told of a blind guy who wanted to be baptized but didn't want to unless he could actually read from the BoM. Long story short, RM blessed the blind guy that would be able to see, opened to Moroni 10: 3-5 and voila!, they guy could see and started reading. Lol @ all you suckers who don't believe in miracles.

                            Oh and he mentioned other priesthood blessing related miracles as well, but I'll keep those to myself because I don't want to rub it in to the apostates on the forum. I'm compassionate like that.

                            P.S. No word on whether the blind guy's sight had been restored permanently or just long enough to read a few verses.
                            I'm like LeBron James.
                            -mpfunk

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                            • At 15 past the hour the long winded high councilor says... "I can see that I'm short on time..." and continues to talk another 5 minutes.

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                              • Originally posted by smokymountainrain View Post
                                Homecoming of a RM, he told of a blind guy who wanted to be baptized but didn't want to unless he could actually read from the BoM. Long story short, RM blessed the blind guy that would be able to see, opened to Moroni 10: 3-5 and voila!, they guy could see and started reading. Lol @ all you suckers who don't believe in miracles.

                                Oh and he mentioned other priesthood blessing related miracles as well, but I'll keep those to myself because I don't want to rub it in to the apostates on the forum. I'm compassionate like that.

                                P.S. No word on whether the blind guy's sight had been restored permanently or just long enough to read a few verses.
                                I heard the same story about ten years ago. I wonder if it is the same guy.
                                "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

                                Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

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