Latest Stats and Facts on Punography

[Clark Addison]

On the other hand, you can't minimize porn because it DOES cause damage to marital relationships and it can lead to impulsive/addictive behavior.

Is there a concensus that, outside of religious homes, this is true? I don't know if there is or not, but I ask because several people I know who are not religious think that this concept (that porn is bad, that porn can harm your marriage) is very strange. They accept that a porn addiction could harm a marriage, much like a food addiction could, but, to them, saying that porn is very dangerous to mariiages is similar to saying food is very dangerous to marriages.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Is there a concensus that, outside of religious homes, this is true? I don't know if there is or not, but I ask because several people I know who are not religious think that this concept (that porn is bad, that porn can harm your marriage) is very strange. They accept that a porn addiction could harm a marriage, much like a food addiction could, but, to them, saying that porn is very dangerous to mariiages is similar to saying food is very dangerous to marriages.

I have posted this before, but this is a fascinating article on that issue:

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/print.../adultery-porn

[Color Me Badd Fan]

Is there a concensus that, outside of religious homes, this is true? I don't know if there is or not, but I ask because several people I know who are not religious think that this concept (that porn is bad, that porn can harm your marriage) is very strange. They accept that a porn addiction could harm a marriage, much like a food addiction could, but, to them, saying that porn is very dangerous to mariiages is similar to saying food is very dangerous to marriages.

Having an affair is like doing meth on the scale of illegal drug usage. Looking at porn is akin to smoking marijuana. Intently watching an attractive woman walk by when you're wife is watching you is probably akin to drinking a couple beers.

I'm not going to overblow the dangers of porn, but I'm also not going to say its harmless. Most wives get pissed when they catch you looking at another woman. Ratchet that up a notch and imagine what they think if they find out that you've been looking at pictures of naked women (at best) and looking at or watching depictions of sexual intercourse (at worst- unless we're talking about midget porn or gay porn). The thoughts that go through their minds are things such as "am I not attractive enough to my husband" and "can I trust my husband?" Those are fairly serious issues and I think it would take time to both rebuild the trust and to remove certain doubts about you and her own image from her mind.

I think women outside the church understand more that guys are guys and porn use really isn't a huge deal. The fact that a guy may partake once in awhile doesn't mean that he doesn't mean he doesn't love you or find you extremely attractive. Guys are led by their schlongs and their schlongs lead them to do illogical things. Hugh Grant was dating Elizabeth freakin Hurley yet still felt the need to go pickup a totally unattractive hooker. You can't defend Grant's action, and it seems downright bizarre when you look at Elizabeth Hurley. Knock it down many degrees and you have a husband who periodically looks at porn. The real thing is, of course, significantly better- but the porn is akin to the dog on Up suddenly looking away mid-conversation with intense interest because he saw a squirrel.

[Flystripper]

What about "Mormons"? Did that thought cross your mind? Be honest now.

I often type lol but that one actually did make me lol.

[KillerDog]

I've heard a few presentations now from LDS Social Service representatives and have been embarrassed by each one. They've all been based on inducing fear and they come across as cold and overly judgmental. Oh, and they completely ignore anything that resembles factual accuracy.

Who's the guy with the 'fro. He looks like a guy I once knew.

[SeattleUte]

What about "Mormons"? Did that thought cross your mind? Be honest now.

Sometimes my wife will widen her eyes, lower her voice, and say teasingly, "John, maybe it was the Mormons; maybe they did this." She has a rule she won't talk to me about Mormons because, she says, it bores her.

[creekster]

She has a rule she won't talk to me about Mormons because, she says, it bores her.

You really should give this fact very careful consideration just before you hit submit message on a new thread in the religious fourm. really. despite her attraction to you, your wife seems very wise.

[TripletDaddy]

The other day my oldest son and I were discussing the recent appearance of a black bear ...near our house

.

[SeattleUte]

You really should give this fact very careful consideration just before you hit submit message on a new thread in the religious fourm. really. despite her attraction to you, your wife seems very wise.

3D disagrees with you and her. He likes my religion posts.

[creekster]

3D disagrees with you and her. He likes my religion posts.

Now, now, we all love your religion posts. really, we do. Dont be so sensitive. UNless you trust your wife's opinion. I mean, who shoudl you believe?

You should point this out to your wife, btw. "I am NOT boring! TripletDadyy, who I like to call DDD, thinks they are fascinating!"

[TripletDaddy]

Sometimes my wife will widen her eyes, lower her voice, and say teasingly, "John, maybe it was the Mormons; maybe they did this." She has a rule she won't talk to me about Mormons because, she says, it bores her.

I think her rule applies generally to speaking with you. It is likely not topical.

[LA Ute]

I have posted this before, but this is a fascinating article on that issue:

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/print.../adultery-porn

I, of course, liked the concluding paragraph:

Which is precisely why it’s so easy to say that the spread of pornography means that we’re just taking a turn, where sex and fidelity are concerned, toward realism, toward adulthood, toward sophistication. All we have to give up to get there is our sense of decency.

Unfashionable as it may be on this board, I really think porn is a curse on our society. Those who are convinced Mormons (sorry, Seattle, I don't care what you think about this either) and who want to have a "cool" attitude about porn likely have never known anyone whose life has been really harmed by it.

I am thinking of a young guy who looked at porn multiple times each day, lied through his mission interviews, and found himself on his mission still unable to stop. He'd sneak away from his companion when they were at the library writing their e-mails home and view porn on the computers; he'd sneak away at members' homes on dinner appointments to find the family PC and do the same thing. And on and on. He ended up being sent home. Now, I know many here will find that funny or will blame the Church or Mormon culture or whatever, but the guy I am talking about sees no humor in his story. He's in a 12-step program and gradually getting more and more control over his life. Meanwhile, his parents hope he doesn't fall in love and try to get married until he is truly "in recovery." Would you want your daughter marrying a man with that problem?

[SeattleUte]

Would you want your daughter marrying a man with that problem?

Not. The guy sounds like he's got a lot of problems.

[LA Ute]

Not. The guy sounds like he's got a lot of problems.

Look, I said I didn't care what you think about this. Why are you bothering me?

[wuapinmon]

For a philosophical take on why porn is debasing and evil, I suggest Jean Baudrillard's Seduction.