Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the News

[tooblue]

do you carry lifesavers in your fanny pack?

I agree, it is a funny designation, but I didn't make it up. Yes, I often have individually wrapped spearmint Lifesavers on me. But to be serous for a moment, over the past year I have helped my wife in her calling, help a woman get out the shelter system and start a new life. Her husband is in jail. Unfortunately, her 11 year old daughter was a witness to his heinous sexual abuse of her mother. This girl isn't compelled or judged. Thought she does speak with my wife and our Bishop often, one-on-one, because she has seen things no child should ever see, and is confused, angry and sometimes just needs to talk to someone other than a court appointed psychologist; someone who also believes in God.

[Non Sequitur]

Again, as Moliere and Lebowski have stated a lot has changed. Your notions, expressed above, are based on past understanding that quite frankly is in the past. You speak of compulsion and judgement like we are still living in the 70's and 80's.

If I want to be present for any interview with my child, I can as a matter of policy. I get it. It's hard to let go of your bias, but attitudes are so very different. There are still a few remnants of the old attitudes, but a shift in not only thinking, but in doing has already occurred. Again, just ask Lebowski and Moliere. They are not outliers. They sound just like the men who make up my Ward Bishopric. I'd trust them to speaking with my child. What's more, my wife as Relief Society President, is increasingly being called upon to counsel with Bishop on these issues.

There is obviously a lot more to the story that started this whole thread that we don't know about, but with regards to what we are discussing in this back and forth, honestly, you are out of touch with what is really happening, not just in schools but at church.

What are these remnants of the 70's that you say have disappeared? Are you saying teenagers are no longer subjected to worthiness interviews in which they're asked if they observe the law of chastity? Are missionaries no longer asked if they masturbate? I'm sure a lot of these kids reach out on their own to church leaders, but how much of that unburdening is necessary because of the systematic shame and guilt that's been heaped on them since they could walk? I'm sure most of the leaders who counsel the youth are wonderful, sincere people who do their best with the job they're given, but the issue isn't about whether they're good at their job, it's about the appropriateness of certain aspects of that job in the first place.

[tooblue]

What are these remnants of the 70's that you say have disappeared? Are you saying teenagers are no longer subjected to worthiness interviews in which they're asked if they observe the law of chastity? Are missionaries no longer asked if they masturbate? I'm sure a lot of these kids reach out on their own to church leaders, but how much of that unburdening is necessary because of the systematic shame and guilt that's been heaped on them since they could walk? I'm sure most of the leaders who counsel the youth are wonderful, sincere people who do their best with the job they're given, but the issue isn't about whether they're good at their job, it's about the appropriateness of certain aspects of that job in the first place.

Worthiness interviews are and always will be a part of faith. There are worthiness requirements to enter the temple, and to go on a mission, and there is nothing insidious, or wrong in having high expectations for what faithful individuals consider sacred opportunities, to commune with God and to represent one's faith, in the name of Christ.

You bringing up the spectre of shame, again shows you are out of touch, revealing a bias that you just can't let go of. In this very thread Moliere et al have stated, in their most recent experience, the shame you are speaking of is of a by-gone era. Hades, we don't even home teach anymore, so the shame that came with not making monthly visits no longer exists.

Speaking as a parent of five children, two of which having served missions recently, with one who was temple married this past June and the other to be temple married at the end of September, and my third child leaving for his mission at the beginning of September (yes, we are crazy busy), the only shame they may have experienced leading up to any one of these sacred opportunities, was self-inflicted. Local leaders have been amazing, and they are considered a great resource to us as parents.

Are there still remnants of the old attitudes? Yes. Do people sometimes act stupidly, or inappropriately. Yes, that will always happen. But it is not the norm, and it is not a valid reason to demonize good people striving to minister and care for each other.

[Uncle Ted]

What are these remnants of the 70's that you say have disappeared? Are you saying teenagers are no longer subjected to worthiness interviews in which they're asked if they observe the law of chastity? Are missionaries no longer asked if they masturbate? I'm sure a lot of these kids reach out on their own to church leaders, but how much of that unburdening is necessary because of the systematic shame and guilt that's been heaped on them since they could walk? I'm sure most of the leaders who counsel the youth are wonderful, sincere people who do their best with the job they're given, but the issue isn't about whether they're good at their job, it's about the appropriateness of certain aspects of that job in the first place.

Didn't that all stop when they retired BKP's 'little factory' pamphlet a few years back? The only talk I got from my bishop growing up about any of this was him handing me that pamphlet on the way out of his office. What do the bishops do now days? Just give a wink and a handshake?

[Jeff Lebowski]

What are these remnants of the 70's that you say have disappeared? Are you saying teenagers are no longer subjected to worthiness interviews in which they're asked if they observe the law of chastity? Are missionaries no longer asked if they masturbate? I'm sure a lot of these kids reach out on their own to church leaders, but how much of that unburdening is necessary because of the systematic shame and guilt that's been heaped on them since they could walk? I'm sure most of the leaders who counsel the youth are wonderful, sincere people who do their best with the job they're given, but the issue isn't about whether they're good at their job, it's about the appropriateness of certain aspects of that job in the first place.

That's funny. You have a very warped view of religion.

[Green Monstah]

I tend to agree that times they are a-changin', although I will note that my SP asked a follow-up about "self abuse" to the chastity question in my latest TR interview.

[Katy Lied]

Odd, I never get those questions.

[Moliere]

I tend to agree that times they are a-changin', although I will note that my SP asked a follow-up about "self abuse" to the chastity question in my latest TR interview.

That’s because the spirit compelled him to ask it, for obvious reasons

So, did he really say “self-abuse”? If my SP used that term, I’d ask him to clarify what he meant.

[LVAllen]

I've read the latest conversation with some amazement. Some of you guys must give off the vibe that you're working overtime at the little factory. When I was in my teens in the 90s I can't remember ever once being asked specifically about it. My mission president never brought it up.

That said, I did have a conversation with the first counselor in the bishopric several years ago who claimed that the stake president had advised them to conduct "searching interviews," despite the interview instructions saying specifically you were not to deviate from the questions provided. So I won't deny it happens.

[Commando]

I haven't been asked if I whacked it since the 90s.

[Green Monstah]

That’s because the spirit compelled him to ask it, for obvious reasons

So, did he really say “self-abuse”? If my SP used that term, I’d ask him to clarify what he meant.

He did. I chuckled inside (it's been a while since I heard the term), but in the end, I generally prefer avoiding the word "masturbation" in my discussions with others.

[HBCoug]

Why don’t Mormon bishops assume the child sitting across from them is masturbating and ditch the question or have it be completely outside the scope of whether a child is “worthy” to go do proxy baptisms or be a teachers quorum counselor? There are kids who are masturbating and kids who are lying about not masturbating. The practice is healthy and awesome. Hell, if I can find a decent break from sizing the business impacts of Trump’s bullshit China tariffs, I may go fire off some knuckle children at some point today. Haven’t decided.

[smokymountainrain]

[Surfah]

The only time I was ever asked that question was when I was a priest and was asked to baptize a kid in my hood that was joining the church. Thankfully he didn't ask if I ever felt his daughter's boobs.

[Flystripper]

Why don’t Mormon bishops assume the child sitting across from them is masturbating and ditch the question or have it be completely outside the scope of whether a child is “worthy” to go do proxy baptisms or be a teachers quorum counselor? There are kids who are masturbating and kids who are lying about not masturbating. The practice is healthy and awesome. Hell, if I can find a decent break from sizing the business impacts of Trump’s bullshit China tariffs, I may go fire off some knuckle children at some point today. Haven’t decided.

omg