Repentance and confession - What would you do?

[SeattleUte]

Keep in mind that in no place in this thread have I worried about what the Bishop thinks of the Cheater. I am focused simply on the marital relationship.

If you are cheating on your spouse, you are deceitful and a liar. If you don't admit your indiscretion to your spouse, you simply compound the lie and the deceit.

So are you saying you've never lied to your spouse?

[SeattleUte]

Great idea. Seriously, though, doesn't everybody pick and choose what they believe in the Church and in other aspects of life to a greater or lesser degree, though?

I recently went to an interventional cardiology conference and watched a presenter do some angioplasty/stent procedures. There were some aspects of the procedures he performed that I thought were great and I learned a few things. There were other things he did that I thought were stupid. I didn't raise a ruckus at the conference and tell him and the other cardiologists that I thought he sucked. I just made some personal notes of the roughly 50% of the stuff he did that I thought was pretty good and the roughly 50% where he kind of sucked and I'm better than him. I was still glad I went to the conference even though I disagreed with a very large portion of this guy's decisions and techniques. In fact, the stuff he did that was wrong was almost as educational as the stuff he did correctly, because it helped solidify my understanding and conviction that my approach is superior.

I do pretty much the same thing at Church.

I think you are unusual. The LDS Church is about control and coersion, and this thread is a prime example.

[TripletDaddy]

I think that is unfair. If his only purpose for suggeting confession was to improve or maintain hsi standing in the church below, I would agree with you. I think his purpose is more than that. CONfession to priesthood authority is important for certain sins and, more significantly, can be essential for the sinner to actually overcome the sin. I have seen the latter dynamic take palce and for some people I beleive confession is absolutely irreplacebale as a step of repentance and self-forgivneness.

Keep in mind that in no place in this thread have I worried about what the Bishop thinks of the Cheater. I am focused simply on the marital relationship.

If you are cheating on your spouse, you are deceitful and a liar. If you don't admit your indiscretion to your spouse, you simply compound the lie and the deceit.

[TripletDaddy]

your take? You are advocating subjecting a spouse to unnecessary pain and suffering strictly to satisfy your own sense of self-righteousness (yay me! I'm honest! Not when I can get laid, of course, but otherwise I'm totally there!!) and improve your standing with the church.

Talk about a whitewashed tomb.

This has nothing to do with the Church. you can be atheists for all I care, but if you are cheating on your spouse, you have violated a personal and important bond of trust. Self-righteousness has nothing to do with it, either. It has everything to do with honesty and communication. And fidelity, as well. how can you be faithful if you are not honest?

Also, admitting the adultery is not the root of the pain. Committing adultery is the root of the pain.

Your religious strawman was weak. Try again.

This is amusing that you are attacking me for advocating honesty, while you defend the "I prefer to be deceived" turret. Strange battle plan, but I am game.

[SeattleUte]

I think that is unfair. If his only purpose for suggeting confession was to improve or maintain hsi standing in the church below, I would agree with you. I think his purpose is more than that. CONfession to priesthood authority is important for certain sins and, more significantly, can be essential for the sinner to actually overcome the sin. I have seen the latter dynamic take palce and for some people I beleive confession is absolutely irreplacebale as a step of repentance and self-forgivneness.

It's kind of a vicious circle isn't it. They confess to the people who make them feel guilty for not confessing. Then they feel better for having confessed to those people. I guarantee if they told themsleves, "I don't care about these people, they have no dominion over me," he wouldn't feel better.

[creekster]

your take? You are advocating subjecting a spouse to unnecessary pain and suffering strictly to satisfy your own sense of self-righteousness (yay me! I'm honest! Not when I can get laid, of course, but otherwise I'm totally there!!) and improve your standing with the church.

Talk about a whitewashed tomb.

I think that is unfair. If his only purpose for suggeting confession was to improve or maintain hsi standing in the church below, I would agree with you. I think his purpose is more than that. CONfession to priesthood authority is important for certain sins and, more significantly, can be essential for the sinner to actually overcome the sin. I have seen the latter dynamic take palce and for some people I beleive confession is absolutely irreplacebale as a step of repentance and self-forgivneness.

[Babs]

I am the one advocating for open communication and total honesty and my take is inappropriate? Perhaps you should review the thread.

your take? You are advocating subjecting a spouse to unnecessary pain and suffering strictly to satisfy your own sense of self-righteousness (yay me! I'm honest! Not when I can get laid, of course, but otherwise I'm totally there!!) and improve your standing with the church.

Talk about a whitewashed tomb.

[Babs]

But didn't you do the same thing before?

Those are celebrities. They don't count.

[TripletDaddy]

Ah, yes, but jihadist murder is a fairly rare occurence in the States. I'd use care in making unwarranted assumptions when it comes to an epidemic as prolific as adultery. I'd wager that there are more than a few here who have faced the pain of infidelity, and I doubt they appreciate your inappropriately (though typical) lighthearted take on the matter.

Listen, one person here has previously voiced the importance he places on trust in a marriage and the ability to confide, not withhold secrets. He was warned and reminded us all that poor/lack of communication can wreak havoc on a marriage. Today, he expresses his opinion that those men who cheat and hide it are really acting out of CYA.

You called him a jerk for his troubles.

I am the one advocating for open communication and total honesty and my take is inappropriate? Perhaps you should review the thread.

[wuapinmon]

Ah, yes, but jihadist murder is a fairly rare occurence in the States. I'd use care in making unwarranted assumptions when it comes to an epidemic as prolific as adultery. I'd wager that there are more than a few here who have faced the pain of infidelity, and I doubt they appreciate your inappropriately (though typical) lighthearted take on the matter.

But didn't you do the same thing before?

[Babs]

this sounds like when robinfinderson made some generic claim that if people murdered his wife and kids, it would embolden him, not break him.

when it comes time for God to judge, I hope he also has that attitude...."hey, don't worry about it...it was 10 years ago. Let's live in the present"

Ah, yes, but jihadist murder is a fairly rare occurence in the States. I'd use care in making unwarranted assumptions when it comes to an epidemic as prolific as adultery. I'd wager that there are more than a few here who have faced the pain of infidelity, and I doubt they appreciate your inappropriately (though typical) lighthearted take on the matter.

[CardiacCoug]

Or, maybe I'd tell him, you know, I know a guy, I don't know his real name, everyone just calls him Cardiac, and he's managed this neat trick where he takes the LDS church on his own terms. No there one will guilt trip him into believing he needs to tell anyone anything he doesn't want to. He doesn't care about the nonsens; just goes and partakes of what he pleases and leaves the rest of it at his pleasure. Maybe you should try that.

Great idea. Seriously, though, doesn't everybody pick and choose what they believe in the Church and in other aspects of life to a greater or lesser degree, though?

I recently went to an interventional cardiology conference and watched a presenter do some angioplasty/stent procedures. There were some aspects of the procedures he performed that I thought were great and I learned a few things. There were other things he did that I thought were stupid. I didn't raise a ruckus at the conference and tell him and the other cardiologists that I thought he sucked. I just made some personal notes of the roughly 50% of the stuff he did that I thought was pretty good and the roughly 50% where he kind of sucked and I'm better than him. I was still glad I went to the conference even though I disagreed with a very large portion of this guy's decisions and techniques. In fact, the stuff he did that was wrong was almost as educational as the stuff he did correctly, because it helped solidify my understanding and conviction that my approach is superior.

I do pretty much the same thing at Church.

[RobinFinderson]

oh, brother.

this sounds like when robinfinderson made some generic claim that if people murdered his wife and kids, it would embolden him, not break him.


when it comes time for God to judge, I hope he also has that attitude...."hey, don't worry about it...it was 10 years ago. Let's live in the present"

I was arguing that torture and indiscriminately bombing people are generally not persuasive. I was reflecting on how murder and persecution only steeled the resolve of our Mormon ancestors. I guess my facts could be wrong. After all, I learned that from the official LDS manual on church history.

[SeattleUte]

For some reason the guy wants to be a part of the Church. Coming back to Church activity has the potential to be a great blessing for him and his family, at least from this guy's perspective. (Or else why would he even be considering it?)

If he asked me for advice I'd tell him this kind of aggravation is asure sign it's not a blessing. I'd ask him why he wants to subject himself to this kind of intrusion into and control over the most intimate details of his life. I'd ask him why this bishop is a better man than he is that he can impose these kinds of demands and conditons on him. Really, why?

Or, maybe I'd tell him, you know, I know a guy, I don't know his real name, everyone just calls him Cardiac, and he's managed this neat trick where he takes the LDS church on his own terms. No there one will guilt trip him into believing he needs to tell anyone anything he doesn't want to. He doesn't care about the nonsens; just goes and partakes of what he pleases and leaves the rest of it at his pleasure. Maybe you should try that.

[TripletDaddy]

Unlike some, I prefer to live in the present.

oh, brother.

this sounds like when robinfinderson made some generic claim that if people murdered his wife and kids, it would embolden him, not break him.


when it comes time for God to judge, I hope he also has that attitude...."hey, don't worry about it...it was 10 years ago. Let's live in the present"