I learned in church today

[Sullyute]

My advice to my teenagers is that true friends will not pressure someone into drinking when its against their values. It's not easy to navigate but the fact is that if a parent restircts a teenager to only attend parties where alchol is served or require them to leave if alchol is present, then the only social activities they will attend are LDS ones. And when they reach adulthood the only social activities they will attend as adults will also be Mormon ones. No wonder LDS are so insular.

I may be the prude here, but I have a big issue with underage drinking. So it is ok to pressure a friend to drink if it is against the law but not ok if it is against their values? Parents (or older siblings) who supply alcohol to teenagers (who are not their own kids) are absolutely stupid and the cops should be called on them. I wouldn't let my teenage kids go to a party (for teenagers) where alcohol is present.

[MarkGrace]

I think it's funny when Mo's say they're grateful for the WoW because without it they just know they'd be alcoholics. I even remember Nikuman dropping that line one time. How's that working out for you, Nik?

[imanihonjin]

And then the teenager will lie to their parent and say that they are going to their Mormon friend's house to work on a school project and wind up at the party anyway. Except now they will be pissed off at their parent and decide to rebel and drink. Then, they will catch a ride home from the party from a friend who is also drunk. Fortunately, the driver will decide he's too drunk to drive and park the car and both will attempt to walk home. Unfortunately, they get lost and walk done a ravine. As they cross a muddy stream, they get devoured by crocodiles.

This is why I don't have any rules for my kids at all. They will just lie to me and do whatever I told them not to do just to spite me. Sex, alcohol, drugs, whatever they want because if I tell them no, I will essentially be pushing the plunger on the needle for them.

[Sullyute]

This is why I don't have any rules for my kids at all. They will just lie to me and do whatever I told them not to do just to spite me. Sex, alcohol, drugs, whatever they want because if I tell them no, I will essentially be pushing the plunger on the needle for them.

But at least they won't get eaten by crocodiles! :thumbsup:

[imanihonjin]

But at least they won't get eaten by crocodiles! :thumbsup:

Right!?!

[smokymountainrain]

This is why I don't have any rules for my kids at all. They will just lie to me and do whatever I told them not to do just to spite me. Sex, alcohol, drugs, whatever they want because if I tell them no, I will essentially be pushing the plunger on the needle for them.

How old are your kids?

[Paperback Writer]

I may be the prude here, but I have a big issue with underage drinking. So it is ok to pressure a friend to drink if it is against the law but not ok if it is against their values? Parents (or older siblings) who supply alcohol to teenagers (who are not their own kids) are absolutely stupid and the cops should be called on them. I wouldn't let my teenage kids go to a party (for teenagers) where alcohol is present.

I have issues with underage drinking as well. But its part of our society and laws don't seem to have much impact. A teenager will get laughed at if he replies, "No, I can't drink, I'm not 21 yet - its against the law!". Well, so is driving over the speed limit. But teenagers generally understand that its not cool to pressure someone into drinking if he doesn't want to or know it's against his values or his religion. My kids have learned that true friends don't do this and respect their values. They will be confronted by under-age drinking in college. Best learn to deal with it while in HS and under a parents' roof.

This is why I don't have any rules for my kids at all. They will just lie to me and do whatever I told them not to do just to spite me. Sex, alcohol, drugs, whatever they want because if I tell them no, I will essentially be pushing the plunger on the needle for them.

And that's why parents should make up rules that have little sense. Like you can't go to a party because beer might be there because we don't trust you - that you will be not able to simply say, "No, thanks". We also don't trust you because you will chose freinds who are also untrustworthy and will pressure you to drink at the risk of losing their friendship.

My kids know the rules. They know they shouldn't drink. They know they shouldn't be in a car driven by someone who was drinking. But the rules don't extend to any activity where there might be alcohol because that could be almost any HS activity. HS kids who drink at parties are breaking the law but they are not evil. Just as adults who drink at social occassions are not evil. I'm also against double standards in my house. If I attend social activities where alcohol is present and don't allow my kids to do the same, it comes accross as hypocritical to them. Even though they are minors, they will soon be adults and from their viewpoint it is more a matter of trust.

[Northwestcoug]

This is why I don't have any rules for my kids at all. They will just lie to me and do whatever I told them not to do just to spite me. Sex, alcohol, drugs, whatever they want because if I tell them no, I will essentially be pushing the plunger on the needle for them.

Sadly, this is pretty close to the truth...

[MarkGrace]

How old are your kids?

Old enough to drop acid with Robin and his kid.

[smokymountainrain]

Old enough to drop acid with Robin and his kid.

[The_Douger]

Old enough to drop acid with Robin and his kid.

Is that what the question in the Ellis Island thread is referencing?

[imanihonjin]

How old are your kids?

FYI, I wasn't serious.

[Pheidippides]

I think it's funny when Mo's say they're grateful for the WoW because without it they just know they'd be alcoholics. I even remember Nikuman dropping that line one time. How's that working out for you, Nik?

Wha? I don't undersfofnd quedotn. Too drun k.

[imanihonjin]

I have issues with underage drinking as well. But its part of our society and laws don't seem to have much impact. A teenager will get laughed at if he replies, "No, I can't drink, I'm not 21 yet - its against the law!". Well, so is driving over the speed limit. But teenagers generally understand that its not cool to pressure someone into drinking if he doesn't want to or know it's against his values or his religion. My kids have learned that true friends don't do this and respect their values. They will be confronted by under-age drinking in college. Best learn to deal with it while in HS and under a parents' roof.


And that's why parents should make up rules that have little sense. Like you can't go to a party because beer might be there because we don't trust you - that you will be not able to simply say, "No, thanks". We also don't trust you because you will chose freinds who are also untrustworthy and will pressure you to drink at the risk of losing their friendship.

My kids know the rules. They know they shouldn't drink. They know they shouldn't be in a car driven by someone who was drinking. But the rules don't extend to any activity where there might be alcohol because that could be almost any HS activity. HS kids who drink at parties are breaking the law but they are not evil. Just as adults who drink at social occassions are not evil. I'm also against double standards in my house. If I attend social activities where alcohol is present and don't allow my kids to do the same, it comes accross as hypocritical to them. Even though they are minors, they will soon be adults and from their viewpoint it is more a matter of trust.

Double standards? What is the double standard. Sorry, I don't really want my kid to think its okay to be at a party where underage drinking is happening. Will it happen, sure it will, but I hope they are responsible enough to realize the issue and to not be present and participate. This is not a double standard as I would never be present at a social activity where underage drinking was occurring, nor would I have a blanket prohibition on my kids being at an event where responsible adults were imbibing.

The vast majority of teenage kids are idiots because it is a symptom of growing up and maturing. Drinking only adds to the stupidity. Getting into a car with a drunk teen at the wheel isn't the only danger to be concerned over.

Simply put, are there any environments that are prohibited for your kids? I am guessing you wouldn't be down if he was hanging with drug dealers, as long as he wasn't slinging himself, right? Strip joints? Bank robberies? etc? I think we all have boundaries for our kids and it is more a matter of where to draw the line. Underage drinking parties are off limits for my kids.

[Pheidippides]

All this talk of kids raises an issue my wife and I are discussing and that is going to get Japan Man's panties in a real twist. Obviously I do not consider responsible alcohol use to be a problem. Key word responsible. I do not consider drinking and driving, binge drinking, etc. to be responsible by any stretch and I think that most everybody here would agree with that.

I have a teenager now. Under the law, I am permitted to let her drink whatever I feel appropriate as long as it is in my presence.

My quandary is this: I don't feel like an bright line entry into alcohol use at 21 - the age my consent is no longer needed - to be advisable. That makes the secrecy and allure of keggers in HS that much more, because it is forbidden. So I plan on being permissive in the walls of my home so responsible habits can be learned and the mystique will be hopefully removed. But I'm unsure how this interplays with age and driving except that I don't want driving and alcohol education to happen at the same time at all. I'm still thinking this out because it's completely new territory for me.