I learned in church today

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  • Pheidippides
    Liberal Feminazi
    • Nov 2008
    • 14759

    #3151
    Originally posted by Colly Wolly View Post
    The Krakatoa eruptions of 1883 actually took place in the years leading up to the first vision. Indeed, the harvesting difficulties experienced on the Smith farm were due to the weather effects of this cataclysmic event, resulting in July snowfalls in upstate New York. From the mouth of the bishop.
    He's probably right, except it's Tambora, not Krakatoa. Right idea, wrong volcano.
    Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

    Comment

    • Moliere
      One man.....one pie
      • Oct 2009
      • 27792

      #3152
      The GD teacher brought a branch to class and asked what it was. In a moment of weakness of curtailing my tongue, I blurted out "a divining rod?" Hey, we are studying church history right?
      "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

      Comment

      • Pheidippides
        Liberal Feminazi
        • Nov 2008
        • 14759

        #3153
        Originally posted by Moliere View Post
        The GD teacher brought a branch to class and asked what it was. In a moment of weakness of curtailing my tongue, I blurted out "a divining rod?" Hey, we are studying church history right?
        Lol, awesome.

        We also mentioned divining rods, or, rather, the Gospel Doctrine instructor did. He was making a point about superstitious folk magic belief of the Smith family - divining rods, alchemy, astrology, etc. Then he passed around four versions of the First Vision and we discussed.

        I think he got the idea from somebody on here.
        Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

        Comment

        • Jeff Lebowski
          Corporate lackey for Jesus
          • Nov 2008
          • 69457

          #3154
          Originally posted by nikuman View Post
          Lol, awesome.

          We also mentioned divining rods, or, rather, the Gospel Doctrine instructor did. He was making a point about superstitious folk magic belief of the Smith family - divining rods, alchemy, astrology, etc. Then he passed around four versions of the First Vision and we discussed.

          I think he got the idea from somebody on here.
          Jealous. Our GD lesson was boring.
          "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
          "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
          "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

          Comment

          • Colly Wolly
            Junior Member
            • Nov 2008
            • 1824

            #3155
            Originally posted by nikuman View Post
            He's probably right, except it's Tambora, not Krakatoa. Right idea, wrong volcano.
            Surely his inability to keep his volcanic eruptions straight tarnishes his ecclesiastical credibility.

            Comment

            • Jeff Lebowski
              Corporate lackey for Jesus
              • Nov 2008
              • 69457

              #3156
              I learned that we are to prepare ourselves to wage a battle with secular humanists and militant atheists. Those humanists sound wimpy, but I am a little nervous about those militant atheists.

              What exactly is a militant atheist anyway?
              "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
              "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
              "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

              Comment

              • Indy Coug
                Heartless Bastard
                • Dec 2008
                • 18747

                #3157
                Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                I learned that we are to prepare ourselves to wage a battle with secular humanists and militant atheists. Those humanists sound wimpy, but I am a little nervous about those militant atheists.

                What exactly is a militant atheist anyway?
                Madalyn Murray O'Hair. It's OK though because someone already took care of her.
                Everything in life is an approximation.

                http://twitter.com/CougarStats

                Comment

                • Moliere
                  One man.....one pie
                  • Oct 2009
                  • 27792

                  #3158
                  I learned that Christ's heart burst in the garden of gethsemane and that that's when he died. That is how he bled from every pore and why only water came out when they threw a spear through his side.

                  I wonder how he talked and walked while dead
                  "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

                  Comment

                  • Joe Public
                    8.1 YPC
                    • Apr 2011
                    • 8499

                    #3159
                    Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                    I learned that Christ's heart burst in the garden of gethsemane and that that's when he died. That is how he bled from every pore and why only water came out when they threw a spear through his side.

                    I wonder how he talked and walked while dead
                    I think Talmage says that in Jesus the Christ.
                    "What are you prepared to do?" - Jimmy Malone

                    "What choice?" - Abe Petrovsky

                    Comment

                    • Pheidippides
                      Liberal Feminazi
                      • Nov 2008
                      • 14759

                      #3160
                      Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                      Jealous. Our GD lesson was boring.
                      It helps when you are the teacher.
                      Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

                      Comment

                      • Pheidippides
                        Liberal Feminazi
                        • Nov 2008
                        • 14759

                        #3161
                        Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                        I learned that we are to prepare ourselves to wage a battle with secular humanists and militant atheists. Those humanists sound wimpy, but I am a little nervous about those militant atheists.

                        What exactly is a militant atheist anyway?
                        I think they are up in Montana or Northern Idaho somewhere.
                        Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

                        Comment

                        • thesaint258
                          aka Benito Hazard
                          • Jan 2009
                          • 3005

                          #3162
                          Originally posted by nikuman View Post
                          Agreed. I'm cooled down a bit now. However, the message comes from the stake, as prior experience indicates, and that concerns me. I think the family bit was ad libbed but the message of stake conference (which, again, I won't be attending) is from higher than the HC.
                          Just send along that talk when President Hinckley said what our general priorities should be with a note saying that President Hinckley disagrees.
                          Not that, sickos.

                          Comment

                          • doctorcoug
                            To Win is to Honor Him
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 2273

                            #3163
                            Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                            I learned that Christ's heart burst in the garden of gethsemane and that that's when he died. That is how he bled from every pore and why only water came out when they threw a spear through his side.

                            I wonder how he talked and walked while dead
                            I got in an argument a year ago in priesthood for suggesting that jesus didn't bleed from every pore. It really was unique to hear the response that jesus made an enormous amount of blood that night so he could bleed from every pore.

                            via a galaxy s3 far far away
                            "Don't expect I'll see you 'till after the race"

                            "So where does the power come from to see the race to its end...from within"

                            Comment

                            • Pheidippides
                              Liberal Feminazi
                              • Nov 2008
                              • 14759

                              #3164
                              Originally posted by thesaint258 View Post
                              Just send along that talk when President Hinckley said what our general priorities should be with a note saying that President Hinckley disagrees.
                              Apparently it got worse after I walked out. The HC, on instructions from the SP, had everybody sustain Stake Conference. My wife abstained. I would have opposed, had I been there. I was that mad, although my wife and I have spent the last 30 minutes laughing about it.

                              In a temple recommend interview after church, my wife told the bishop (a good friend of ours) that I had walked out and that she though the entire thing was wrong. Good for her. If we were on the fence about going before, we're definitely taking Mormon Spring Break now.
                              Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

                              Comment

                              • Moliere
                                One man.....one pie
                                • Oct 2009
                                • 27792

                                #3165
                                Originally posted by nikuman View Post
                                Apparently it got worse after I walked out. The HC, on instructions from the SP, had everybody sustain Stake Conference. My wife abstained. I would have opposed, had I been there. I was that mad, although my wife and I have spent the last 30 minutes laughing about it.

                                In a temple recommend interview after church, my wife told the bishop (a good friend of ours) that I had walked out and that she though the entire thing was wrong. Good for her. If we were on the fence about going before, we're definitely taking Mormon Spring Break now.
                                The Second Mormon Reformation is alive and well. I'm surprised he isn't suggesting that everyone get rebaptized.
                                "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

                                Comment

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