I learned in church today

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • TexTechCoug
    Carbonite
    • Nov 2010
    • 891

    #2146
    I learned two things. First, the church is like a sub sandwich. I'd elaborate on which parts of the church are bread and condiments, but I zoned out as soon as the missionary made that as the introduction to his 15 minute talk.

    I also learned how courteous my ward can be when an obviously mentally ill visitor told a ten minute story with multiple tangents as a response to the question "What is faith?".

    Comment

    • Pheidippides
      Liberal Feminazi
      • Nov 2008
      • 14759

      #2147
      I had a full hour long lecture on naked misogynism, in which everybody tried to explain why the word "preside" doesn't mean precisely what the dictionary says it means.
      Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

      Comment

      • DU Ute
        RIP CUF
        • Dec 2008
        • 7393

        #2148
        Originally posted by nikuman View Post
        I had a full hour long lecture on naked misogynism, in which everybody tried to explain why the word "preside" doesn't mean precisely what the dictionary says it means.
        My biggest church pet peve are people who feel the need to argue that women are equal to men in the organization of the Church. Just say that it's God's plan or we don't know why the leadership hierarchy is patriarchal. Don't go through the mental gymnastics of trying to assert that women and men are equals in the Church.
        "In conclusion, let me give a shout-out to dirty sex. What a great thing it is" - Northwestcoug
        "And you people wonder why you've had extermination orders issued against you." - landpoke
        "Can't . . . let . . . foolish statements . . . by . . . BYU fans . . . go . . . unanswered . . . ." - LA Ute

        Comment

        • myboynoah
          Senior Member
          • Nov 2008
          • 21719

          #2149
          Originally posted by mcan View Post
          Today I learned that prepositions can have a past tense. As in, "the pioneers came acrossed the plains.". This is totally acceptable in both prayers and trestimonies. I don't think I've ever heard this particular word bastardization anywhere other than here in Utah.
          Does that happen with other prepositions or is it just reserved for "acrossed?" My father uses the term, as do others I know from Utah. I used it growing up, and may slip from time to time. But I'd always thought it was just a pronunciation issue as in "accrost" instead of "accrossed." Much like "pitcher" (picture) and "Sundee" (Sunday).
          Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!!

          For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still.

          Not long ago an obituary appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune that said the recently departed had "died doing what he enjoyed most—watching BYU lose."

          Comment

          • Portland Ute
            Junior Member
            • Dec 2008
            • 5647

            #2150
            Originally posted by mcan View Post
            Today I learned that prepositions can have a past tense. As in, "the pioneers came acrossed the plains.". This is totally acceptable in both prayers and trestimonies. I don't think I've ever heard this particular word bastardization anywhere other than here in Utah.
            I think, like a lot of these "bastardizations," they are fairly common acrossed the western U.S. in "the country" whether you are in rural-ish Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming, Nevada or AZ.

            Comment

            • Omaha 680
              Senior Member
              • Jul 2011
              • 11170

              #2151
              Branch conference today. EQ attendence is about 50% more than nomral because of all the stake officers.

              Comment

              • DU Ute
                RIP CUF
                • Dec 2008
                • 7393

                #2152
                Originally posted by myboynoah View Post
                Does that happen with other prepositions or is it just reserved for "acrossed?" My father uses the term, as do others I know from Utah. I used it growing up, and may slip from time to time. But I'd always thought it was just a pronunciation issue as in "accrost" instead of "accrossed." Much like "pitcher" (picture) and "Sundee" (Sunday).
                On my mission, I was about 5 minutes into translating a talk by an older, English speaking stake missionary in sacrament meeting when I realized her talk was centered around a picture, not a pitcher. I tried to bring it all together while I watched people remove their headphones one by one. I finally just gave up. If you giving a talk that requires translation it's best to stick with the basics.
                "In conclusion, let me give a shout-out to dirty sex. What a great thing it is" - Northwestcoug
                "And you people wonder why you've had extermination orders issued against you." - landpoke
                "Can't . . . let . . . foolish statements . . . by . . . BYU fans . . . go . . . unanswered . . . ." - LA Ute

                Comment

                • wuapinmon
                  Soul Plumber
                  • Dec 2008
                  • 30711

                  #2153
                  Originally posted by DU Ute View Post
                  If you giving a talk that requires translation it's best to stick with the basics.
                  "Wuap's "problem" is that he is smart & principled & committed to a moral course of action. His actions are supposed to reflect his ethical code.
                  The rest of us rarely bother to think about our actions." --Solon

                  Comment

                  • TripletDaddy
                    sweet triple
                    • Nov 2008
                    • 58186

                    #2154
                    Today's Primerica lesson included a reference to the miracle of the fishes and loaves. One of the kids asked how 5000 people could hear Jesus without a microphone.

                    I really had no answer. What do you guys think. That is a lot of people.
                    Fitter. Happier. More Productive.

                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • scottie
                      Junior Member
                      • Nov 2008
                      • 5247

                      #2155
                      Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
                      Today's Primerica lesson included a reference to the miracle of the fishes and loaves. One of the kids asked how 5000 people could hear Jesus without a microphone.

                      I really had no answer. What do you guys think. That is a lot of people.
                      lol

                      Comment

                      • Moliere
                        One man.....one pie
                        • Oct 2009
                        • 27800

                        #2156
                        I learned that a man that hasn't been to church in two years and likely hasn't paid tithing since then can participate in the ordaining of his son to an office in the APH.
                        "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

                        Comment

                        • smokymountainrain
                          Impressive Member
                          • Nov 2008
                          • 22593

                          #2157
                          Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
                          Today's Primerica lesson included a reference to the miracle of the fishes and loaves. One of the kids asked how 5000 people could hear Jesus without a microphone.

                          I really had no answer. What do you guys think. That is a lot of people.
                          I always just assumed the people at the front relayed the message to those in the back. Doesn't seem particularly effective, but that's the only thing I've been able to come up with.
                          I'm like LeBron James.
                          -mpfunk

                          Comment

                          • SCcoug
                            Senior Member
                            • Nov 2008
                            • 7625

                            #2158
                            Originally posted by smokymountainrain View Post
                            I always just assumed the people at the front relayed the message to those in the back. Doesn't seem particularly effective, but that's the only thing I've been able to come up with.
                            [YOUTUBE]jnzFx7-5hhY[/YOUTUBE]

                            Comment

                            • Clark Addison
                              Senior Member
                              • Nov 2008
                              • 10290

                              #2159
                              Originally posted by smokymountainrain View Post
                              I always just assumed the people at the front relayed the message to those in the back. Doesn't seem particularly effective, but that's the only thing I've been able to come up with.
                              They used hand signals, like the Occupy folks.

                              Comment

                              • Clark Addison
                                Senior Member
                                • Nov 2008
                                • 10290

                                #2160
                                Originally posted by nikuman View Post
                                I had a full hour long lecture on naked misogynism, in which everybody tried to explain why the word "preside" doesn't mean precisely what the dictionary says it means.
                                So I am guessing that isn't as interesting as it sounds?

                                Comment

                                Working...