I learned in church today

[RC Vikings]

Old bishop? Meaning not your current bishop? You should have told him he has no stewardship over you

He taught the lesson Sunday. He just said he didn't have a good answer for my questions and went home and did some research. He's a nice guy.

[MarkGrace]

Today I learned that how much tongue you use when you french kiss can impact your relationship with your wife. Thanks, elders quorum!

[Uncle Ted]

Today I learned that how much tongue you use when you french kiss can impact your relationship with your wife. Thanks, elders quorum!

directly or inversely proportional?

[Moliere]

I learned that if someone vandalizes one of the buildings in your stake and the wards that usually meet in that building have to double up with other wards, that it results in one hour church for everyone.

[Mormon Red Death]

I learned that if someone vandalizes one of the buildings in your stake and the wards that usually meet in that building have to double up with other wards, that it results in one hour church for everyone.

Since I have learned that from you there might be some vandalism at my church soon.

[thesaint258]

I learned that if someone vandalizes one of the buildings in your stake and the wards that usually meet in that building have to double up with other wards, that it results in one hour church for everyone.

Don't start giving me ideas...

[Dwight Schr-ute]

The bishop made an announcement about fast offerings. To ensure that the deacons have something to do on fast Sundays, he requested that we not pay them with our tithing but to wait for the deacons to come to our home. If our preference was to still pay at church or mail in on our own, he requested that we still give the deacons "a dollar or two" so that they could still magnify their callings.

I found this whole thing amusing. So with all of the service that could be conducted by this quality young men, we'd still prefer them to be driven around the ward by their parents so that people who are trying to get themselves ready for church, can pretend that they didn't hear the door bell ring. Or maybe that's just my house.

[Green Monstah]

I learned that if someone vandalizes one of the buildings in your stake and the wards that usually meet in that building have to double up with other wards, that it results in one hour church for everyone.

Ha! We had 1-hour church too (only it was due to a well pump breaking and no running water).

My family and I decided that it wasn't worth the 1.5 hours of prep for 1 hour of church and took a bye week. I thought it was great, but wifey didn't like it so much.

[TripletDaddy]

We had stake conference yesterday. I didn't learn anything.

[beefytee]

The bishop made an announcement about fast offerings. To ensure that the deacons have something to do on fast Sundays, he requested that we not pay them with our tithing but to wait for the deacons to come to our home. If our preference was to still pay at church or mail in on our own, he requested that we still give the deacons "a dollar or two" so that they could still magnify their callings.

This used to be the reason I did it until it usually ended up being the leaders without any kids that brought it by.

Needless to say, I simply pay directly to Salt Lake now.

[Moliere]

It was made quite clear today that we are a church of assignments.

[Green Monstah]

We sang "Abide with me 'tis Eventide" for the closing hymn, and I learned I still cant sing that song without bawling my eyes out. Then I was self concious about my puffy eyeswhen teaching GD, so I explained the back story and wept like a child.

[TripletDaddy]

I'm convinced that short of being the Bish, there is no better calling than Primary teacher if you want to know the dirt on everyone in the ward.

Little children have zero filters when it comes to sharing info. In the past few weeks, I have learned some interesting factoids from the little CTR6 kiddoes that I teach. One girl said her mom and dad are trying to have a baby this year but "it's [her] mom's idea." Another girl said her dad fights a lot with her older brother. Today a boy said that they used to have a dog but his mom ran over it on accident and killed it with her car.

I have also found that there are a few select questions a teacher can ask that are guaranteed to elicit the inside info:

1. Can you think of something sad that has happened in your life?
2. What are examples of things people do that make Jesus sad?
3. Name a time when your mom and dad were upset but then afterwards everything was ok.

There is a whole list of questions that are lesson-appropriate and will also yield entertaining results.

A word of caution to all of you parents that have Primary-aged children: if you are yelling at your kids....if you are fighting with your spouse.....if you serve your kids microwave dinners.....if you are engaged in role play freakery....We know your secrets!

[RC Vikings]

.....if you are engaged in role play freakery....

Damn

[The Fourth Nephite]

When my boy was a sunbeam he went up to his primary teacher and said in a serious tone, "Something terrible is happening at home".

Of course this got her attention so she asked him what it was.

"My dad...is losing his hair!"