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I learned in church today

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  • Originally posted by Surfah View Post
    I learned that the reason the sacrament bread has tasted really weird the last month is because it is gluten free. We have a number of celiacs in our ward who usually brought their own gluten free bread in plastic and a deacon would seek them out with their own special tray. I guess it was decided that this was too much trouble so it is gluten free for everyone now.
    Reminds me when our (old) stake spent a small fortune to accommodate a family with a really bad allergy problems by building a room in the building with a very expensive filtering system and no carpet. They called in the "clean room". (I always wondered if it was clean enough that I could teach the young men how to fabricate integrated circuits in there.) Of course, the family moved out of the stake shortly after that.
    "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
    "I honestly believe saying someone is a smart lawyer is damning with faint praise. The smartest people become engineers and scientists." -SU.
    "Yet I still see wisdom in that which Uncle Ted posts." -creek.
    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

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    • Originally posted by Moliere View Post
      The teacher asked the question as to why April 6 was so significant. The question bounced around the room until someone finally took the Talmage stance and said it was because April 6 was when Christ was born, which is proved out by D&C 20:1. The teacher seemed pleased at this response, which was probably where she was going in the first place. I leaned over to MJ and told her that D&C 20:1 was not part of the actual revelation, to which she told me to be quiet. I obliged.
      Wimp. I totally shot this down, and I wasn't even teaching this week.
      Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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      • I want to visit the Bay Ward.

        Mitch Mayne's talk from two weeks ago:

        http://mitchmayne.blogspot.com/2013/....html?spref=fb
        "Nobody listens to Turtle."
        -Turtle
        sigpic

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        • Originally posted by Surfah View Post
          I want to visit the Bay Ward.

          Mitch Mayne's talk from two weeks ago:

          http://mitchmayne.blogspot.com/2013/....html?spref=fb
          I used to teach the 8 year olds in that ward. I also taught elders quorum for a while. But that was a long time ago.
          PLesa excuse the tpyos.

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          • I had switched my Facebook profile photo to a packet of Equal Zero Calorie Sweetner and within 24 hours, I received an email from a member of our high councilmen "on assignment from the stake president" requesting a visit with me and my wife. Due to the Supreme Court excitement combined with things spoken and behaviors conducted by our stake president, my wife feared the worst and they were coming to enact punishment. Turns out she was 100% correct. My public act of defiance against the Lord's anointed organization earned me a spot in the Elder's Quorum presidency. Seems a bit harsh to me.
            I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

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            • The theme for the 5th Sunday combined lesson on Easter Sunday is......wait for it......family history

              Guess it has a resurrection tangent to it....
              "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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              • Originally posted by Dwight Schr-ute View Post
                I had switched my Facebook profile photo to a packet of Equal Zero Calorie Sweetner and within 24 hours, I received an email from a member of our high councilmen "on assignment from the stake president" requesting a visit with me and my wife. Due to the Supreme Court excitement combined with things spoken and behaviors conducted by our stake president, my wife feared the worst and they were coming to enact punishment. Turns out she was 100% correct. My public act of defiance against the Lord's anointed organization earned me a spot in the Elder's Quorum presidency. Seems a bit harsh to me.
                That is harsh! Change your profile back and beg forgiveness.
                "Friendship is the grand fundamental principle of Mormonism" - Joseph Smith Jr.

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                • I just learned that the Elders and HP are combined today, so I get to hear a lesson from Parrot Head. I am sure on this Easter Sunday it will be an atonement- focused lesson.

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                  • Originally posted by Clark Addison View Post
                    I just learned that the Elders and HP are combined today, so I get to hear a lesson from Parrot Head. I am sure on this Easter Sunday it will be an atonement- focused lesson.
                    "Being a Goodly Parent". Come on Parrot Head!

                    I also should say that I would feel more confident in this lesson if I had not stopped in the gym during Sunday school and seen him hard at work on it.

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                    • Parrot Head now inviting comments on Gay Marriage and this week's Supreme Court arguments. A bold strategy.

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                      • I read The Gardener during church today. Not that church was bad, but I love that short story. Kipling's ambiguity is perfect. But I think there is a nice Easter lesson there.
                        "Nobody listens to Turtle."
                        -Turtle
                        sigpic

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                        • Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                          The theme for the 5th Sunday combined lesson on Easter Sunday is......wait for it......family history

                          Guess it has a resurrection tangent to it....
                          Ours was emergency preparedness. Complete with FHE suggestions! ("Gather the family round and play a game. Imagine the worst disasters that could happen and ask everyone what they would do!")
                          At least the Big Ten went after a big-time addition in Nebraska; the Pac-10 wanted a game so badly, it added Utah
                          -Berry Trammel, 12/3/10

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                          • Originally posted by Clark Addison View Post
                            Parrot Head now inviting comments on Gay Marriage and this week's Supreme Court arguments. A bold strategy.
                            "Have things gotten worse over time?"

                            He's pandering to the mullahs! Throwing them softballs!

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                            • Just shared an anecdote about PAC having an argument with Mrs PAC.

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                              • I just made a comment so PH couldn't accuse me of posting on CUF all through his lesson.

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