LDS Garments: Why I Want Out of This Club

[pellegrino]

I have a home teaching coordinator beating me over the head with CHOI because I have the audacity to mix in a variety of activities (cookouts, parties, helping out with projects, etc.) with my home teaching families as an alternative to a traditional in-home visit from time to time. He kept sending me excerpts from the CHOI and reported me to the bishop (no, I am not making this up). I finally told him to take a hike and not contact me again about home teaching, period.

Whenever they give me a new family. I pay them an initial visit and I always ask them how I can best serve their needs. Do they want a standard visit with an Ensign message every time, or are they looking for more flexibility and non traditional visits? Most everyone says they're open to new ideas. I had one sister flat out tell me "You don't have to come every month, you know." So we don't. She just wants someone she can count on in an emergency. I told her "I think I can do that."

[Pheidippides]

We have now been over 9 years, spanning 2 homes and 2 wards without a HT visit. The last one we had visited us the day after we brought HFN Jr, home from the hospital in Aug of 2002. I think HTing is overvalued and overdiscussed at church.

HT in its current inception was a mechanism creates by Harold B Lee to bring correlation directly into the homes. As such, I am not a fan. Unless it is done like Lebowski suggests, with fun and caring for all.

I have been known to use my home teachers as guinea pigs in religious thought experiments.

[pellegrino]

We have now been over 9 years, spanning 2 homes and 2 wards without a HT visit. The last one we had visited us the day after we brought HFN Jr, home from the hospital in Aug of 2002. I think HTing is overvalued and overdiscussed at church.

it is generally a waste of time, especially when we have a duplicate operation going on in Relief Society.

[TripletDaddy]

We have now been over 9 years, spanning 2 homes and 2 wards without a HT visit. The last one we had visited us the day after we brought HFN Jr, home from the hospital in Aug of 2002. I think HTing is overvalued and overdiscussed at church.

we have yet to be assigned HTs in our ward, although 9 years is a long stretch. we are nowhere near that. I have also yet to be assigned any families to home teach. We did receive a call asking us to meet with the Bishop this Sunday, though

[MarkGrace]

We have now been over 9 years, spanning 2 homes and 2 wards without a HT visit. The last one we had visited us the day after we brought HFN Jr, home from the hospital in Aug of 2002. I think HTing is overvalued and overdiscussed at church.

Agreed. I still think we should ask people if they want HTers first, and then just assign out those families that do. I feel like the majority of active people don't want hometeaching, and think it's more of a hassle than anything. I know several people on my list have just flat out said they're not really interested in having anyone over.

[Soccermom]

Agreed. I still think we should ask people if they want HTers first, and then just assign out those families that do. I feel like the majority of active people don't want hometeaching, and think it's more of a hassle than anything. I know several people on my list have just flat out said they're not really interested in having anyone over.

That is exactly how we feel. If/when we need help, we can seek it out. But to visit just to visit really infringes on the little amount of family time we do have. Especially when we get the HTs who don't want to ever leave!

I will tolerate/appreciate sincere people, but currently, it is clear that our hts are just there so they can cross us off the checklist. And the spreadsheet of who has done it sent out to everyone in the ward every month doesn't help discourage that kind of home teacher IMO.

Aristides and I really try to be good, but there is just too much church. Every day there is something church related it seems. With a long commute, 4 busy kids, and little family time as it is, really, the last thing we want is more meetings, visits, activities. If the church cares about families, let us actually have family time! Maybe I should request a slacker hometeacher if they MUST assign us one. :-)

[pellegrino]

That is exactly how we feel. If/when we need help, we can seek it out. But to visit just to visit really infringes on the little amount of family time we do have. Especially when we get the HTs who don't want to ever leave!

I will tolerate/appreciate sincere people, but currently, it is clear that our hts are just there so they can cross us off the checklist. And the spreadsheet of who has done it sent out to everyone in the ward every month doesn't help discourage that kind of home teacher IMO.

Aristides and I really try to be good, but there is just too much church. Every day there is something church related it seems. With a long commute, 4 busy kids, and little family time as it is, really, the last thing we want is more meetings, visits, activities. If the church cares about families, let us actually have family time! Maybe I should request a slacker hometeacher if they MUST assign us one. :-)

just tell your home teacher that they can make a phone call to see how things are going and then maybe make a quarterly visit.

One thing I like about my ward is that they've made it clear that they don't expect us to visit everyone on our list every month, but that we need to try and make contact with everyone at least once a year.

Now, they have given me ten families to visit, seven of which are inactive so in that context it makes sense to temper expectations. That said, I think it's important to tell people in the church what is meeting our needs and what isn't. I've told my HT that we're not interested in traditional visits, they don't meet our needs. We need friends, social networks, support raising our kids, not a trite five (or fifty) minute lesson from the Ensign.

[PharmCoug]

We need friends, social networks, support raising our kids, not a trite five (or fifty) minute lesson from the Ensign.

I think that the reason I haven't been HTing in the last few years is that I don't agree with the common system as it has been set up. It has always felt awkward on my side, and like I was not wanted by the family. Perhaps I wasn't because they didn't need a lesson and instead wanted something different.

[Moliere]

HT in its current inception was a mechanism creates by Harold B Lee to bring correlation directly into the homes. As such, I am not a fan. Unless it is done like Lebowski suggests, with fun and caring for all.

I have been known to use my home teachers as guinea pigs in religious thought experiments.

This is true, although the roots of hometeaching actually go back to the Mormon Reformation of the late 1850s when Brigham Young called local "home missionaries" to visit members and recommit them to living the gospel. The goals and results of the "home missionary" program also make the current system seem very benign.

FTR, I'm a fan of home teaching as long as numbers aren't stressed and people can conform the program to meet their needs. There is something incredibly Christian in having lay members watch over and care for the needs of other members.

[Pheidippides]

This is true, although the roots of hometeaching actually go back to the Mormon Reformation of the late 1850s when Brigham Young called local "home missionaries" to visit members and recommit them to living the gospel. The goals and results of the "home missionary" program also make the current system seem very benign.

FTR, I'm a fan of home teaching as long as numbers aren't stressed and people can conform the program to meet their needs. There is something incredibly Christian in having lay members watch over and care for the needs of other members.

Side note on the 1850s revivalism: did you know that people were rebaptized to show devotion? The idea wasn't unlike other traveling revivals: stir up the people to cry hallelujah, baptize them. It's an interesting side note that seems wacky now. Can you imagine a mass rush of rebaptizms of already active members in connection with a rah rah rah program of the church today?

[Jeff Lebowski]

just tell your home teacher that they can make a phone call to see how things are going and then maybe make a quarterly visit.

One thing I like about my ward is that they've made it clear that they don't expect us to visit everyone on our list every month, but that we need to try and make contact with everyone at least once a year.

Now, they have given me ten families to visit, seven of which are inactive so in that context it makes sense to temper expectations. That said, I think it's important to tell people in the church what is meeting our needs and what isn't. I've told my HT that we're not interested in traditional visits, they don't meet our needs. We need friends, social networks, support raising our kids, not a trite five (or fifty) minute lesson from the Ensign.

Ten families?

I think your approach (as both a home teacher and home teachee) is right on. Good for you.

[Sullyute]

Side note on the 1850s revivalism: did you know that people were rebaptized to show devotion? The idea wasn't unlike other traveling revivals: stir up the people to cry hallelujah, baptize them. It's an interesting side note that seems wacky now. Can you imagine a mass rush of rebaptizms of already active members in connection with a rah rah rah program of the church today?

To keep the side note going, Jedeiah M Grant, second counselor in the first presidency, a.k.a Brigham's Sledgehammer, was put in charge of the Mormon Reformation. I alway that was a cool nickname to have. Historian believe that the revival was one of the factors that lead to the Mountain Meadows Massacre.

[Portland Ute]

In the spirt of this thread, I know several couples in the (25-40 age range) who use the lack of garment (for her) while on dates as a sort of foreplay.

I guess it makes for a seemless transition from date to action while also having the benefit of nice looking lingerie without having to "slip into something more comfortable.

I can understand this. It's nice to slip off a pair of jeans and see something other than white biker-short looking things.

I would guess that SP members would frown on such things in an interview, no?

[kccougar]

In the spirt of this thread, I know several couples in the (25-40 age range) who use the lack of garment (for her) while on dates as a sort of foreplay.

I guess it makes for a seemless transition from date to action while also having the benefit of nice looking lingerie without having to "slip into something more comfortable.

I can understand this. It's nice to slip off a pair of jeans and see something other than white biker-short looking things.

I would guess that SP members would frown on such things in an interview, no?

This thread is getting a little creepy.

[creekster]

In the spirt of this thread, I know several couples in the (25-40 age range) who use the lack of garment (for her) while on dates as a sort of foreplay.

Maybe its the age thing again, but you are talking abotu this with several couples? to me that is bizarre.