Worst date you've ever been on

[SteelBlue]

I have lots of really bad 1st dates or shall I say,,,,interesting dates that turned into really funny stories. I have friends and family that bug me all the time to start a blog dedicated just for funny/disaster dating stories.

I could tell the one about the girl that was my first date after my fiance dumped me out of the blue. She got completely drunk off her ass, tried to unzip my pants while driving 85 MPH Southbound on I-15 while whispering unmentionables into my ear, threw up on the curb as I was helping her out of my car, screamed at the top of her lungs at 3:30 in the morning at the door of her townhome in Draper for me to come inside and " FILL IN THE BLANKS HERE", all the while listening to her roomate and boyfriend get it on the in the room, and then her tripping and completely turfing it........

And that's just the minor details on that one.

Or

There's the one who actually SHOWED UP to the date ALREADY DRUNK and whom I ended up calling the cops on as she drove away drunk in her vehicle....that date lasted a whopping 15 minutes.

Or

The most recent one who showed up over an hour late to a reservation at Cucina Toscana, then spent the next 30 minutes going on about the history of her car repairs, without taking a breath, and then went on a man bashing tirade for the next 90 minutes and going off on the single men in the church who've never been married,,,(mind you this girl was a 36 year old never been married Bachelorette).......

Or

The one who wore zero makeup, her hair looked like it was matted with static electricity and mange, wearing coke bottle glasses with a turtle neck sweater....in the middle of summertime......

Or

The one who invited me to a Concert, but the catch was I had to drive all the way down to Spanish Fork to pick her up....which I did...only to find that she dogged me, and to get a text msg from her later that night with the words..."Sorry".

Or

The gal at RubyRiver up in Ogden (Same night after getting dogged by the Spanish Fork girl) who appeared hopped up on something then at the end of dinner admitted she'd drank a red bull, popped 2 No Doz, and her Anti-Psychotic meds just before meeting me......and then later that night I went and stopped by Shakas Bday party and briefly hung out with he and Yardtime down at "Keys On Main" in downtown SLC.

Or

well...okay I'll stop...but I've just touched on some minor details.....I could really write some very long and funny stories, but it would take way too much time.

Yeah, I don't think anyone's going to top Rocky. Robin's is pretty freaky though. I can't imagine being helpless like that while she's in so much trouble.

[RobinFinderson]

I have lots of really bad 1st dates or shall I say,,,,interesting dates that turned into really funny stories. I have friends and family that bug me all the time to start a blog dedicated just for funny/disaster dating stories.

I could tell the one about the girl that was my first date after my fiance dumped me out of the blue. She got completely drunk off her ass, tried to unzip my pants while driving 85 MPH Southbound on I-15 while whispering unmentionables into my ear, threw up on the curb as I was helping her out of my car, screamed at the top of her lungs at 3:30 in the morning at the door of her townhome in Draper for me to come inside and " FILL IN THE BLANKS HERE", all the while listening to her roomate and boyfriend get it on the in the room, and then her tripping and completely turfing it........

And that's just the minor details on that one.

Or

There's the one who actually SHOWED UP to the date ALREADY DRUNK and whom I ended up calling the cops on as she drove away drunk in her vehicle....that date lasted a whopping 15 minutes.

Or

The most recent one who showed up over an hour late to a reservation at Cucina Toscana, then spent the next 30 minutes going on about the history of her car repairs, without taking a breath, and then went on a man bashing tirade for the next 90 minutes and going off on the single men in the church who've never been married,,,(mind you this girl was a 36 year old never been married Bachelorette).......

Or

The one who wore zero makeup, her hair looked like it was matted with static electricity and mange, wearing coke bottle glasses with a turtle neck sweater....in the middle of summertime......

Or

The one who invited me to a Concert, but the catch was I had to drive all the way down to Spanish Fork to pick her up....which I did...only to find that she dogged me, and to get a text msg from her later that night with the words..."Sorry".

Or

The gal at RubyRiver up in Ogden (Same night after getting dogged by the Spanish Fork girl) who appeared hopped up on something then at the end of dinner admitted she'd drank a red bull, popped 2 No Doz, and her Anti-Psychotic meds just before meeting me......and then later that night I went and stopped by Shakas Bday party and briefly hung out with he and Yardtime down at "Keys On Main" in downtown SLC.

Or

well...okay I'll stop...but I've just touched on some minor details.....I could really write some very long and funny stories, but it would take way too much time.

Holy crap, Rocky, this could be a montage in a Will Ferrell movie.

[thesaint258]

I have lots of really bad 1st dates or shall I say,,,,interesting dates that turned into really funny stories. I have friends and family that bug me all the time to start a blog dedicated just for funny/disaster dating stories.

I could tell the one about the girl that was my first date after my fiance dumped me out of the blue. She got completely drunk off her ass, tried to unzip my pants while driving 85 MPH Southbound on I-15 while whispering unmentionables into my ear, threw up on the curb as I was helping her out of my car, screamed at the top of her lungs at 3:30 in the morning at the door of her townhome in Draper for me to come inside and " FILL IN THE BLANKS HERE", all the while listening to her roomate and boyfriend get it on the in the room, and then her tripping and completely turfing it........

And that's just the minor details on that one.

Or

There's the one who actually SHOWED UP to the date ALREADY DRUNK and whom I ended up calling the cops on as she drove away drunk in her vehicle....that date lasted a whopping 15 minutes.

Or

The most recent one who showed up over an hour late to a reservation at Cucina Toscana, then spent the next 30 minutes going on about the history of her car repairs, without taking a breath, and then went on a man bashing tirade for the next 90 minutes and going off on the single men in the church who've never been married,,,(mind you this girl was a 36 year old never been married Bachelorette).......

Or

The one who wore zero makeup, her hair looked like it was matted with static electricity and mange, wearing coke bottle glasses with a turtle neck sweater....in the middle of summertime......

Or

The one who invited me to a Concert, but the catch was I had to drive all the way down to Spanish Fork to pick her up....which I did...only to find that she dogged me, and to get a text msg from her later that night with the words..."Sorry".

Or

The gal at RubyRiver up in Ogden (Same night after getting dogged by the Spanish Fork girl) who appeared hopped up on something then at the end of dinner admitted she'd drank a red bull, popped 2 No Doz, and her Anti-Psychotic meds just before meeting me......and then later that night I went and stopped by Shakas Bday party and briefly hung out with he and Yardtime down at "Keys On Main" in downtown SLC.

Or

well...okay I'll stop...but I've just touched on some minor details.....I could really write some very long and funny stories, but it would take way too much time.

This reads like it could be added to Bucko's categories of single women over 30 as real examples to illustrate each category.

[Shaka]

Hopefully my birthday made up for it a little bit.

Here's mine:

I was asked to Cottonwood High's Halloween dance which was called Monster Mash. The girl who asked me was a friend of friends of my family. I had met her the previous summer at Bear Lake. She was ok but I wasn't at all interested in her.

The day of the dance she shows up at my house with the lamest looking Aladdin costume ever. We are talking sparling Hammer pants, billowy gay pirate shirt, and a huge shiny gold turban. I end up walking out of my house with my family and as it turns out neighbors laughing at me. To make it worse she had on a really horrible I Dream of Genie costume that was revealing in a way that accented the worst parts of her figure and covered up the best.

It's a triple date so there are six of us crammed in a Dodge Aries K. First they drag us to a restaurant called the Hawaiian. The restaurant had a stage with a polynesian show including hot hula girls. To embarass us they had preplanned with the restaurant to call the other two guys and I up to the stage in our horrible costumes and make us hula with the girls. I'll admit that the hot hula girls sort of made up for the spectacle but not quite.

We arrive at the dance late and immediately hopped into the picture line which took an hour. I thought we would stop and actually dance but no, they decided we should skip the dance. Instead of dancing we crammed back into the K car and spent the next three hours looking for something called the Brighton Bump. The Brighton Bump turned out to be a steep street with a flat cross street somewhear near Brighton High School. You could go down the steep street and allegedly get air with your car as you launched off the flat cross street. Our attempt in the K car nearly ended up with us wrapping the car around a tree.

After the the near fatal exerience with the bump we proceeded to one of their homes where we watched an extremely lame chick flick. I was so tired by that point I fell asleep. I woke up to her hand on second base and attempting to unzip access to third. This was a new experience as I'd never had a girl try to molest me without at least trying to kiss me first.

Finally I was returned to my home at around 3:00 am. Fortunately by the time we got to the doorstep she had figured out that I had zero interest.

I know my story pales in comparison to some of yours but writing about it was theraputic.

[il Padrino Ute]

I will really have to think hard to try to come up with one bad date. I honestly can't remember me ever having a horrendous time on a date, though I'd guess that if you asked this question to several girls who I went out with, their worst dates story would involve me.

[il Padrino Ute]

Hopefully my birthday made up for it a little bit.

Here's mine:

I was asked to Cottonwood High's Halloween dance which was called Monster Mash. The girl who asked me was a friend of friends of my family. I had met her the previous summer at Bear Lake. She was ok but I wasn't at all interested in her.

The day of the dance she shows up at my house with the lamest looking Aladdin costume ever. We are talking sparling Hammer pants, billowy gay pirate shirt, and a huge shiny gold turban. I end up walking out of my house with my family and as it turns out neighbors laughing at me. To make it worse she had on a really horrible I Dream of Genie costume that was revealing in a way that accented the worst parts of her figure and covered up the best.

It's a triple date so there are six of us crammed in a Dodge Aries K. First they drag us to a restaurant called the Hawaiian. The restaurant had a stage with a polynesian show including hot hula girls. To embarass us they had preplanned with the restaurant to call the other two guys and I up to the stage in our horrible costumes and make us hula with the girls. I'll admit that the hot hula girls sort of made up for the spectacle but not quite.

We arrive at the dance late and immediately hopped into the picture line which took an hour. I thought we would stop and actually dance but no, they decided we should skip the dance. Instead of dancing we crammed back into the K car and spent the next three hours looking for something called the Brighton Bump. The Brighton Bump turned out to be a steep street with a flat cross street somewhear near Brighton High School. You could go down the steep street and allegedly get air with your car as you launched off the flat cross street. Our attempt in the K car nearly ended up with us wrapping the car around a tree.

After the the near fatal exerience with the bump we proceeded to one of their homes where we watched an extremely lame chick flick. I was so tired by that point I fell asleep. I woke up to her hand on second base and attempting to unzip access to third. This was a new experience as I'd never had a girl try to molest me without at least trying to kiss me first.

Finally I was returned to my home at around 3:00 am. Fortunately by the time we got to the doorstep she had figured out that I had zero interest.

I know my story pales in comparison to some of yours but writing about it was theraputic.

I remember The Hawaiian. The food wasn't great, but the atmosphere was fun. You must be close to my age to have gone there.

[wuapinmon]

I took Renae Rosenfeld to the movies my junior year. I was really into her, and she was a big Julia Roberts fan. We had been to see Sleeping with the Enemy together, the sex scene causing my pulse to rise as I sat by her side in the dark. Our last date was to see another Julia Roberts movie.....a little gem some of you might remember called Dying Young. Oh, Gosh! It was horrible: sad, depressing, no comic relief to speak of. We skipped dinner and I took her home. The next day she broke up with me for my best friend. I can't stop giggling now thinking about it. A date to see a movie about dying young....oh!

Worst date ever.

[DrumNFeather]

One of my worst dates of all time probably should've never happened. On one of the rare occasions that I attended institute, a nice young lady sat down next to me and literally within 5 minutes asked me out (that should've been a sign).

So, we go on our date and in typical LDS single dating fashion, we go mini golfing. It was a nice warm summer night, so the course was packed. She didn't quite have the whole putt vs. swing thing down and was consistently knocking her ball all over the course and disrupting other people's games. The whole time she was doing this, she was laughing hysterically (think the annoying girl on American Idol).

After that I was so annoyed that I don't really remember if she redeemed herself or not, but we'll go with no.

She asked me out to lunch a few days later and I spent the whole time talking about some other girl in the ward I was interested in. Dick move? Yes. But she got the message loud and clear.

[landpoke]

My worst date actually involved my wife.

About a year after we started dating we were out to dinner and she asked my honest opinion on a subject to which a man should never give his honest opinion. Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was my relative naivete regarding the man-woman dynamic, maybe it was the look on her face and the tone of her voice that said "I want your honest opinion." Whatever the reason I stupidly gave her my honest opinion. Imagine my surprise when anger, tears and threats of bloody vengeance ensued.

And I'm still occasionally reminded of this transgression even though we're more than a decade removed from the blessed event.

[Pheidippides]

I won a contest on X96 for the worst date.

The short version is that I took the bishop's daughter to prom and ended up taking her to the hospital with carbon monoxide poisoning after being in a car that was doing 130mph down Parley's.

The next year for prom, I backed my dad's Benz into a truck that happened to belong to a convict in the jail (don't ask how we got there).

Then there was the time where, the day before my wedding, I clocked my wife in the eye - hard - with my laser tag gun while we were playing laser tag. She had one hell of a shiner.

[pellegrino]

This has been fun reading all of these. My worst date doesn't compare with some of those here, but I thought I'd share anyways.

My worst date has to be a girl's choice dance my junior year in high school. Most girls asked really early in my school and I had not been invited to go by anyone. So the day of the dance I'm working (I ran the register at a drive thru dry cleaners) and this car comes through with a decorated sign attached to the rear passenger window saying "Pellegrino will you come to Sadie's with me?" I knew the girl, she was in my stake, but I did not find her attractive at all. I did, however, know some of her friends and they were very attractive. They were in the car with her and they convinced me that I should go and that it would be fun. I said I would go, but I didn't get off until 7.30. They said that was fine and that they'd pick me up around then. For the rest of my shift I keep telling myself that it wouldn't be that bad and at the very least I'll get a decent meal out of it.

I go home, change clothes, and purposely don't eat because I think I'll be going to dinner. and they come pick me up at about 8.00. We went to a friend's house for a few minutes. Apparently they had already eaten dinner at the friend's house, had finished about 30 minutes ago and were all ready to go to the dance. No explanation, no apology, no offer of food, just hey, you're here, let's go to the dance. So we get to the dance at about 8.30 and we're like the first group there. It's just us and DJ in the school gym. Totally lame.

I'm starving to the point that my stomach is making strange noises that you can hear over the music at times and I'm forced to dance with this girl that I don't like. My friends see us together and laugh because they know the whole thing was an afterthought. Of course, we stayed for the entire dance (longest four hours of my life). So we finally leave the dance and I'm thinking that we'll get something to eat. We go back to the friend's house and have plans to watch a movie. The only thing they have to eat is carmel corn and make your own candied apples. Not only do I find both disgusting but I had braces at the time and neither was really an option. My stomach is in open revolution, to the point that people are looking at me when they hear it. To top it off we watch some lame movie and I end up falling asleep. They take me home at about 3.30 or so and after eating everything I can see in my parents' fridge I finally get to bed at around 4.30 or so.

Bright and early at 8.30 my parents are knocking on my door expecting me to get up for church. I manage to get up and out the door only to sleep-walk through church. A few friends came over that evening after I had slept and eaten and we talk about it. They laugh as I vent about the whole night.

The next week one of the more attractive girls from the group confronts me and blames me for not being nice to her friend and accuses me of flirting with her and other girls that night and that I'm stuck up and think that I'm too good for them. I'm taken aback because I was friends with this girl (we had dated some in the past) and I didn't know what she was talking about. I try to explain that if I was grumpy it was because I was starving but she walks away in a huff. I couldn't win either way, perhaps it was that girl's worst date too.

This is getting long, but I do have to add another person's potentially worst date. It goes along with all of the injury tales told by many of you.

It was another high school date dance and a huge group of about 20 or so couples decided to go tubing and sledding. Some of the guys built a small jump that, depending on how fast you were going could really launch you into the air. One of the guys decides to go down it with his date so they get on the tube together and start down the hill. They hit it hard enough to really send them flying. They both get about 7-10 feet in the air, the tube goes one way and they go the other. The only problem is that the landing was pretty flat and he ended up landing on top of her and she loses consciousness for a few minutes. Paramedics come and take her to the hospital. Turns out she broke her pelvis when he landed on her and she had a concussion as well. The guy is just fine, but she is in traction and misses like three months of school because of it.

[beelzebabette]

One Sunday as school’s starting up again in the fall, I’m chatting with a friend outside the bishop’s office during Sunday School awaiting our sentence/calling. Later that night I get a phone call asking me out—do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to ask the potential suitor, “Um, who are you?” because you can’t remember meeting said individual? Turns out it was the executive secretary sitting in the halls with us who I barely said two words to. I accept, figuring I can ask around and cancel if need be. He got an above-average review as a nice guy and decent conversationalist from a girl in our stairwell so I go.

Cliff notes version: he comes and picks me up and is a decent enough guy—wants to be a nurse anesthetist, from Idaho, big family. Introductions over, we arrive at Albertsons where he experiences a quandary in the bread aisle deciding between cheap bread and that which is of higher quality. Why? Because his roommates thought feeding the ducks would be a great first date activity. I suggest the ducks wouldn’t appreciate the difference, he purchases the cheap bread, and we walk back to his car. At which point he informs me that his roommates told him he had to open the door for me, but he can’t figure out why. I think this was the point I realized there would certainly not be a second date so I might as well treat it as an education opportunity for the sake of his future wife. (Yes, I was even more arrogant back then than I am now.) Next we drive to a low-income apartment complex in S Provo along the river. Again, why? Because he passes it on his way to work and has seen ducks there. Okay.

He pulls up in front of a building, parks the car, and opens the bread bag. As I’m reaching for the door handle to exit the car, he rolls down his window and starts throwing half slices of bread over the roof of the car in the direction of the ducks. I sat back confused for a moment and decided I couldn’t teach him everything in one night. So, I started throwing bread through my window at the ducks in order to empty the bag more quickly. The faces of some of the residents who witnessed this while out for an evening stroll were priceless—I may forget my grandkids’ names in a hypothetical senility scenario, but I’m sure I’ll still remember those strange looks.

Anyway, that was the highlight of a much, much longer evening—the impetus for establishing a 3 ½-hour first-date rule—and I lack to energy to tap out more details. Worked out okay, though. He started dating a girl in the apartment below me who returned from study abroad the next semester, and her roommates came up to jokingly congratulate me when they got engaged claiming they'd heard no repeat bizarreness.

Oh, this is also why I don't refuse blind dates--I decided to just trust my friends after this instance of self-selection (on the part of the guy).

[Solon]

One Sunday as school’s starting up again in the fall, I’m chatting with a friend outside the bishop’s office during Sunday School awaiting our sentence/calling. Later that night I get a phone call asking me out—do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to ask the potential suitor, “Um, who are you?” because you can’t remember meeting said individual? Turns out it was the executive secretary sitting in the halls with us who I barely said two words to. I accept, figuring I can ask around and cancel if need be. He got an above-average review as a nice guy and decent conversationalist from a girl in our stairwell so I go.

Cliff notes version: he comes and picks me up and is a decent enough guy—wants to be a nurse anesthetist, from Idaho, big family. Introductions over, we arrive at Albertsons where he experiences a quandary in the bread aisle deciding between cheap bread and that which is of higher quality. Why? Because his roommates thought feeding the ducks would be a great first date activity. I suggest the ducks wouldn’t appreciate the difference, he purchases the cheap bread, and we walk back to his car. At which point he informs me that his roommates told him he had to open the door for me, but he can’t figure out why. I think this was the point I realized there would certainly not be a second date so I might as well treat it as an education opportunity for the sake of his future wife. (Yes, I was even more arrogant back then than I am now.) Next we drive to a low-income apartment complex in S Provo along the river. Again, why? Because he passes it on his way to work and has seen ducks there. Okay.

He pulls up in front of a building, parks the car, and opens the bread bag. As I’m reaching for the door handle to exit the car, he rolls down his window and starts throwing half slices of bread over the roof of the car in the direction of the ducks. I sat back confused for a moment and decided I couldn’t teach him everything in one night. So, I started throwing bread through my window at the ducks in order to empty the bag more quickly. The faces of some of the residents who witnessed this while out for an evening stroll were priceless—I may forget my grandkids’ names in a hypothetical senility scenario, but I’m sure I’ll still remember those strange looks.

Anyway, that was the highlight of a much, much longer evening—the impetus for establishing a 3 ½-hour first-date rule—and I lack to energy to tap out more details. Worked out okay, though. He started dating a girl in the apartment below me who returned from study abroad the next semester, and her roommates came up to jokingly congratulate me when they got engaged claiming they'd heard no repeat bizarreness.

Oh, this is also why I don't refuse blind dates--I decided to just trust my friends after this instance of self-selection (on the part of the guy).

Good story. I think you invented a new sport: drive-by bread-chucking.

I used to work at that apartment complex, or maybe one right by it. The ducks were pretty cool, until a large contingent of Asian immigrants moved in and ate them all. The tenants really thought America was awesome, since there was free food literally walking around outside.

[wuapinmon]

The guy is just fine, but she is in traction and misses like three months of school because of it.

Now THAT is a bad date, in an Indiana Jones sort of way.

[JohnnyLingo]

Bump!

This thread better get consideration for the Cuffies... I love bad date stories.

Here's my contribution:

It's my Senior year of high school, and I had just finally gotten up the nerve to actually talk to and ask out a girl I'd had a crush on for approximately five years. We went on a double date with my sister, and I had the startling revelation that I wasn't all that attracted to this girl. She was hot, but our personalities didn't mesh all that well and she was pretty boring.

Two weeks later, she asked me to a girl's choice dance. Either the first date was more enjoyable for her, or she felt obligated to return the favor somehow.

Anyway, I had a scout campout that weekend, but I was getting back the afternoon of the dance, so I said yes. I got back from this campout, completely sunburned and exhausted, about 20 minutes before she was going to pick me up. My mom decided my hair was too shaggy for a date and dragged me into the backyard for a trim.

The end result is that I am sunburned on most of my head and face, except for the areas that are freshly uncovered thanks to the haircut. It didn't look all that great.

Anyway, my date's group consisted of theater and drama kids - kids I was not friends with, and to be honest, most of them annoyed me immensely.

Dinner was meh, as I was tired and self-conscious thanks to the red patterns on my head, and there was no one there I was really able to talk to.

The dance was fine (translation: forgettable), and she took me home. That was that, until my freshman year at BYU, when she found me in the Morris Center one day and severely hinted that she'd like me to ask her out again.

I didn't.

To make up for the relative lack of entertainment in my story, I'll share one from my MTC companion:

Every night around 9 my district would gather in one of our rooms and eat oranges we'd saved from lunch around a garbage can while telling bad date stories. We called it Orange Time, and it was the daily highlight of our time there.

The thing was, my companion, who was from Ephraim, was not interested at all in joining us, and instead spent the time studying or reading in the next room. We tried constantly to get him to share with us, but he turned us down every time except once.

One night we were seating around the garbage can and he wandered over and asked if we wanted to hear his story. We enthusiastically said yes, and he grabbed a chair and sat down with us.

He had crushed on this girl in his town for ever and ever. They were friends, but he'd never had to guts to actually ask her out. Finally, his senior year, he asked her out and she said yes. He doubled with his recently RM'd brother and they went to a corn maze.

Once in the maze, everyone got separated. My comp ended up wandering back to the car, where his brother's date was. They agreed to go out looking for the other two and then meet back at the car in 10 minutes.

My companion went back into the maze and didn't find anyone. Upon his arrival back at the car, he found his date (and longtime crush, remember) and his brother making out.

Well, that was the end of that date, and poor Elder Ephraim spent the next few months pining over his lost love, who was now dating his brother.

Suffice it to say, the rest of us elders were all astounded at the tragedy (and comedy) exhibited in this story, and we congratulated Elder Ephraim on a job well done.

Six months later, I ran into my old MTC companion while in the field on a P-Day. He was reading e-mails from his family, and after I asked him how things were going back home, he showed me one from his brother.

He was marrying Elder Ephraim's longtime crush. The digital wedding announcement involved cowboy hats and a vests.

In the end, Elder Ephraim got married five months after we all got home, so I guess he wasn't too damaged by these events, but it remain the best real-life soap opera saga I've ever heard.