The 2016 Presidential Election Trainwreck

[Sullyute]

I said before, I am going to miss the expert level trolling from Trump:

Agreed. The dude has a talent. You know that he has to be laughing himself to sleep every night knowing soooooo many people are taking the bait.

[Uncle Ted]

Oh good hell... one of Ted's mistresses is Katrina Pierson, Drumpf's spokeswoman!



http://crooksandliars.com/2016/03/na...have-scoop-ted

These republicans are all sleeping together! And she is denying it...

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[Commando]

Not bad, Cruz. Not bad... He's acquitting himself a bit better than Bill ever did- I'll say that.

[Eddie]

I did see a funny tweet today that said that Kasich is trying to win his bracket with zero of his sweet 16 teams remaining. Sounds about right.

[Uncle Ted]

Not bad, Cruz. Not bad... He's acquitting himself a bit better than Bill ever did- I'll say that.

Yeah, five women... Maybe Ted has what it takes to be president of this country after all.

[Maximus]

Cruz:

Let me be clear: Donald Trump may be a rat, but I have no desire to copulate with him

I would think he's implying he has sex with rats, but has no desire to have sex with Donald Trump, even though Trump is a rat.

[Uncle Ted]

Cruz:



I would think he's implying he has sex with rats, but has no desire to have sex with Donald Trump, even though Trump is a rat.

This whole thing is getting better than that "House of Cards" show. You can't make this stuff up.

[Northwestcoug]

Now this, this is funny. I hope it's a recurring bit:

[Jeff Lebowski]

Now this, this is funny. I hope it's a recurring bit:

I don't get it. How is that funny? How can you do any sort of parody or satire of Donald Trump and make it seem funny? He is a walking caricature.

[Uncle Ted]

Drumpf has an yyyuuge problem with female voters...

Examining Trump's Problem With Female Voters
[...]
This month, about half (47 percent) of Republican female primary voters said they could not imagine themselves voting for Trump. (About 40 percent of male GOP primary voters said the same.)

Compare that to their relative willingness to accept Trump's rivals.


Only about three in ten female Republican voters say they can't imagine backing Ted Cruz (32 percent) and John Kasich (27 percent). The poll, which was taken before Marco Rubio exited the presidential race, also showed that only 30 percent of GOP women couldn't imagine backing the Florida senator.




[...]
But plug in the names "Hillary Clinton" and "Donald Trump" and the gap gets even wider.


In that hypothetical matchup, just 31 percent of women said they would chose Trump, while 58 percent said they would chose Clinton. That's a net advantage of 27 points for Clinton.


In 2012, Barack Obama bested Mitt Romney by far less -- 55 percent to 44 percent -- among female voters.

http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016...voters-n544901


And Drumpf's latest tweets don't seem to be helping his campaign with women but it really may be helping Cruz's:

Suddenly, Ted Cruz seems like a gentleman

Pinch yourself, hard.

The unthinkable, the unimaginable, the impossible is happening.

People are actually feeling empathy for Ted Cruz.

What does this say about our beloved America? Into what kind of weird cosmic rat-hole have we let ourselves be dragged?

One of the coldest, most despised figures in the Senate, Cruz is endeavoring to appear human. The same snide jerk who led the costly, unpopular Republican shutdown of the government is now warming hearts for the way he rushed to the defense of his wife, Heidi.

For this Frankenstein turn of events we can thank Donald Trump.

In case you hadn’t heard, the spouses of the two GOP presidential front-runners were the hot topic in the race last week. Second were the terrorist attacks in Brussels.
[...]
Cruz shrewdly responded by taking the high road, or what passes for a high road in this gutter-fest of a campaign:


“Donald, real men don’t attack women,” he tweeted. “You wife is lovely, and Heidi is the love of my life.”


Aw. Meet sweet, calm, tender Ted. Where’s he been hiding all these years?


After seeing his wife coarsely mocked in public, he reacts with a gentle scold, a compliment to Mrs. Trump and reiteration of his own devotion to Heidi.


Trump ends up looking like a pig, while Cruz ends up looking almost like a gentleman.

If you’re Donald, it must feel like you’ve been schooled.

http://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/o...e68349417.html

If Cruz was pulling the strings with this whole nude Melania Drumpf ad thing then he just might be an (evil) genius.

[Uncle Ted]

And Hillary is going to find it!

Hillary Clinton Is Serious About UFOs

Once again, Hillary Clinton has pledged that she will discover as much as possible about government involvement in UFO research and share the information with the American people. Clinton was on Jimmy Kimmel's talk show Thursday night, and Kimmel brought up the fact that he'd asked former President Bill Clinton about his efforts on UFO disclosure during his administration. (Kimmel has also asked President Barack Obama about UFOs.)


"He said that he did do that and he didn't find anything," Kimmel said. Hillary Clinton replied, "Well, I'm going to do it again."


This is the second time during the last few months that Clinton has said she wants to tackle this issue. In late December, Clinton told a New Hampshire reporter that she thought "we may have been visited already," and that she would "get to the bottom" of the issue if elected president. Three weeks ago, Clinton campaign chairman John Podesta, an X-Files fan and longtime Clinton aide, told a Las Vegas television station that he's pressed Clinton on the issue.


"I've talked to Hillary about that, this is a little bit of a cause of mine which is that people really want to know what the government knows, and there are still classified files that could be declassified," Podesta said at the time.

And while many dismiss UFOs with eye-rolling skepticism, Clinton showed Kimmel that she's familiar with the more scientific side of the issue, correcting his use of the term "UFO."


"There's a new name—it's 'unexplained aerial phenomenon,'" she said. "UAP, that's the latest nomenclature."
[...]
Last night, Clinton told Kimmel that anything that can be released should be released. "I would like us to go into those files and hopefully make as much of that public as possible," she said. "If there's nothing there, let's tell people there's nothing there."


"What if there is something there?" asked Kimmel.


"Well, if there is something there," she replied, "unless it's a threat to national security, I think we ought to share it with the public."

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/...t-wont-go-away

[Commando]

I don't get it. How is that funny? How can you do any sort of parody or satire of Donald Trump and make it seem funny? He is a walking caricature.

By staging a reenactment of an actual interview and quoting him directly?

[Jeff Lebowski]

By staging a reenactment of an actual interview and quoting him directly?

Sure. But how is that any more grotesque or comical than the real thing?

[Commando]

Sure. But how is that any more grotesque or comical than the real thing?

I guess it's not, but in defense of the folks at Comedy central, sometimes not everyone gets the joke unless you poke them in the eye with it.

[Moliere]

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It's also interesting that Sanders would beat any of the GOPers head to head (even Kasich, but barely), but Clinton only loses to Kasich (not surprising).