How do you feel about this LDS therapist's advice?

[byu71]

Before sarcastically posting about them online with a smug self-gratification.

FIFY

[Pheidippides]

Emotional abuse?
Bunch of pansies.

I know grown men who are still going through therapy because they have sexual guilt associated with masturbation from their teens years because of church teachings and interviews. I know men that feel ashamed every time they have an orgasm with their wife because of it. I know women whose most traumatizing memory of teen years is a no doubt well meaning bishopric member teaching them what masturbation was when they didn't know what it was in an interview at age 12.

Pansies? No. They are tough. But at least they are not intentionally myopic.

(nice choice of a loaded epithet, btw)

Don't get me started on what happens when there is sexual abuse in the background. One in four women. One in nine men. Them's the stats.

[DU Ute]

You are exasperated that you exacerbated the problem created by addiction?

It was late and I was posting from my phone!

[Topper]

I know grown men who are still going through therapy because they have sexual guilt associated with masturbation from their teens years because of church teachings and interviews. I know men that feel ashamed every time they have an orgasm with their wife because of it. I know women whose most traumatizing memory of teen years is a no doubt well meaning bishopric member teaching them what masturbation was when they didn't know what it was in an interview at age 12.

Pansies? No. They are tough. But at least they are not intentionally myopic.

(nice choice of a loaded epithet, btw)

Don't get me started on what happens when there is sexual abuse in the background. One in four women. One in nine men. Them's the stats.

Well said, niku.

[OhioBlue]

I know grown men who are still going through therapy because they have sexual guilt associated with masturbation from their teens years because of church teachings and interviews. I know men that feel ashamed every time they have an orgasm with their wife because of it. I know women whose most traumatizing memory of teen years is a no doubt well meaning bishopric member teaching them what masturbation was when they didn't know what it was in an interview at age 12.

Pansies? No. They are tough. But at least they are not intentionally myopic.

(nice choice of a loaded epithet, btw)

Don't get me started on what happens when there is sexual abuse in the background. One in four women. One in nine men. Them's the stats.

Bingo.

The shame/guilt paradigm is out of control.

[DrumNFeather]

Bingo.

The shame/guilt paradigm is out of control.

So, what do you think can be done to balance it out a little more? How out of control do you think it continues to be? It seems like there is less emphasis on it generally these days with the youth, but that may just be my perception.

[Topper]

Bingo.

The shame/guilt paradigm is out of control.

Why don't we focus upon mental health? That might be a novel idea to understand what is mentally/emotionally healthy and to strive to achieve health.

I realize we have standards we wish to enforce, and teenage sexuality activity is certainly not to be encouraged. Nonetheless when sexual activity is healthy it should be encouraged to be appreciated, not viewed as shameful.

[wuapinmon]

Emotional abuse?
Bunch of pansies.

You're that guy in that Bruce Hornsby song!

[DU Ute]

I know grown men who are still going through therapy because they have sexual guilt associated with masturbation from their teens years because of church teachings and interviews. I know men that feel ashamed every time they have an orgasm with their wife because of it. I know women whose most traumatizing memory of teen years is a no doubt well meaning bishopric member teaching them what masturbation was when they didn't know what it was in an interview at age 12.

Pansies? No. They are tough. But at least they are not intentionally myopic.

(nice choice of a loaded epithet, btw)

Don't get me started on what happens when there is sexual abuse in the background. One in four women. One in nine men. Them's the stats.

Nikuman, FTW!

[OhioBlue]

So, what do you think can be done to balance it out a little more? How out of control do you think it continues to be? It seems like there is less emphasis on it generally these days with the youth, but that may just be my perception.

The simple answer is for people to chill out a little bit, but of course that gets super complicated when proposed within a religious culture/context/doctrine that emphasizes perfection and attributes any message that says 'hey why don't we all relax a little bit' to messengers from Satan.

That's only slightly TIC.

I can't honestly say it's any more/less out of control than say 50 years ago, I wasn't around, but then neither were the interwebs. Also, my view is colored because I work with it all the time. But when you've seen as many people sitting in front of you shaking from the shame of actually believing they are horrible people and not worthy of anyone's love, you start to get a little defensive on their behalf.

And I know people in the church often try to communicate love and compassion, and often do a good job with it. But even that message is sometimes delivered in a very patronizing way, and people that think they're being very loving are actually shaming. Kind of a "I love you good brother so-and-so and God does too, even though you're deeply flawed it's okay because you can become normal again someday." I believe some have called that 'church love.'

[OhioBlue]

Why don't we focus upon mental health? That might be a novel idea to understand what is mentally/emotionally healthy and to strive to achieve health.

Google Martin Seligman, Chris Peterson, and Positive Psychology. And note the slow growth of the wellness movement in the health professions, including psychology. Yours are ideas that others also feel passionate about. Myself included.

[Topper]

And I know people in the church often try to communicate love and compassion, and often do a good job with it. But even that message is sometimes delivered in a very patronizing way, and people that think they're being very loving are actually shaming. Kind of a "I love you good brother so-and-so and God does too, even though you're deeply flawed it's okay because you can become normal again someday." I believe some have called that 'church love.'

It seems believers of any faith substitute what mental health experts deem appropriate and healthy for the "divine" view of how a person should feel about certain intimacies.

There doesn't seem to be a broad-based understanding, just a narrow interpretation based on our cultural norms, or historical cultural norms regarding certain intimacies.

[Topper]

Google Martin Seligman, Chris Peterson, and Positive Psychology. And note the slow growth of the wellness movement in the health professions, including psychology. Yours are ideas that others also feel passionate about. Myself included.

Are these LDS? My experience is that many of our mental health professionals are much better for our culture than our people who are not informed regarding this subject.

[OhioBlue]

Are these LDS? My experience is that many of our mental health professionals are much better for our culture than our people who are not informed regarding this subject.

No.

And that's a tough one still, because divine inspiration is and will always be a trump card. I can't tell you how many times I've tried unsuccessfully in my office to help someone question the advice they got from a well-meaning bishop that for all its good intents is just plain horrible (and sometimes harmful) advice. But I'll tell you what, when it's me against a Bishop, I'm going to lose just about every time.

Thankfully, more often than not church leaders are reasonable and cooperative and know when they are out of their territory and need some help. I don't mean to over-generalize.

You also have to realize that it wasn't all that long ago that psychology and psychiatry were viewed by church higher-ups as part of the church of the devil.

[Sleeping in EQ]

The therapist's advice is solid. I think the good guys (and gals) are slowly winning the battle on this one.