exmo.com comes to WashPo

[Viking]

This girl is apostate, she is mad at the Church and likely wants to get back at her parents for what she perceives to be years of repression. She also lives in NYC.

wtf hasn't oxcoug made a beeline over to her apartment to help her work out some of those issues?

She may be a bitter ex because of Oxie.

[RC Vikings]

I am surprised I have not heard of her before:



Carrie Sheffield - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I think she is very pretty. I wonder why she didn't get married?

[CardiacCoug]

That was one of the few sentences I didn't have a big problem with. She was somewhat gentle by summarizing the historical issues as "Mormonism’s claims about anthropology, history and other subjects contradict reason and science." She could have said for example "Joseph Smith purchased some mummies from a traveling circus and claimed to find and translate writings of Abraham with them. The papyri have since been rediscovered and found to be common burial texts dated 2,000 years after Abraham."

Sure, good point.

I think an article like this bothers me because I want to believe among all those people she went to at BYU somebody would have said, "You're right, a lot of this stuff isn't very believable, possibly allegorical, etc. But consider all the good things that come out of staying in the Church."

I'm not sure I believe that people just said "Stop reading and get married" but if they did then that's a shame. Because I think the advice should be "Of course science doesn't support the existence of God or religion. Consider the pluses and minuses of continued Church participation over your lifetime and decide based on these pragmatic considerations. Certainly don't make your decision on nonsense like theoretical Temple plural marriages."

[Paperback Writer]

This girl is apostate, she is mad at the Church and likely wants to get back at her parents for what she perceives to be years of repression. She also lives in NYC.

wtf hasn't oxcoug made a beeline over to her apartment to help her work out some of those issues?

And who could blame poor Carrie for anger at her parents. She was forced to not only eat all the vegatables on her plate but to also share a current event. It must have pushed her over the edge of Mormonism.

In the Sheffield home, it was Dan Rather’s stern drawl that provided the evening news. News was prominent in the Sheffield home, where at the dinner table each child was expected to share a current event in addition to finishing his or her vegetables.

http://newsnet.byu.edu/story.cfm/54735

[myboynoah]

Sure, good point.

I think an article like this bothers me because I want to believe among all those people she went to at BYU somebody would have said, "You're right, a lot of this stuff isn't very believable, possibly allegorical, etc. But consider all the good things that come out of staying in the Church."

I'm not sure I believe that people just said "Stop reading and get married" but if they did then that's a shame. Because I think the advice should be "Of course science doesn't support the existence of God or religion. Consider the pluses and minuses of continued Church participation over your lifetime and decide based on these pragmatic considerations. Certainly don't make your decision on nonsense like theoretical Temple plural marriages."

Yeah, I agree.

We have no idea how people responded to her and how she approached her issues. I certainly can imagine some folks advising just not to look at problematic material. That works for some people; it doesn't interest them. But given what my daughter has told me has been discussed in her religion classes (polyandry, etc.), I find it odd that no one acknowledged some problems weren't sympathetic. I think some people who struggle not only want acknowledgement, but also an answer that makes them feel better inside. In most of these cases, that must come from within.

To me, like I said, this reads very much like one of the exmo.com stories. I found stuff that disturbed me; I asked people; people didn't give the answers I wanted; I wasn't happy; I had to be true to myself and leave; people didn't react well. Then she tags on 2-3 sentances at the end about The Church being "anti-woman" and "homophobic" and makes a call for tolerance.

[jay santos]

[FMCoug]

I'm in no way implying that this is the case all or even much of the time, but some people who leave the Church are shunned by friends and family because they are self-important, condescending ass-holes, not because they apostisized.

Here's the worst line:
I don't understand why families treat their family members poorly over leaving the Church.

I wonder how much of this is spin though. You only seem to hear it from the exmo types.

In my own family, our experience was that the "apostate" basically left the family himself. He issued an ultimatum that basically said the rest of us had to leave if we were to have any association with him. He has since moved with no forwarding address provided to his parents or siblings. And yet he is very active in the exmo world now, a true fanatic, telling people the story of how his family "shunned" him. Which is complete bullshit.

That is admittedly just one anecdote. So I pose the question to CUF at large. How many of you know someone who has been shunned by their family for apostasy? In your own family or otherwise, it just has to be firsthand knowledge.

How many of our beloved board apostates here have been "shunned"?

I'm sure it happens, but most of what comes from that crowd seems to be 90% hyperbolic bullshit.

[jay santos]

I wonder how much of this is spin though. You only seem to hear it from the exmo types.

In my own family, our experience was that the "apostate" basically left the family himself. He issued an ultimatum that basically said the rest of us had to leave if we were to have any association with him. He has since moved with no forwarding address provided to his parents or siblings. And yet he is very active in the exmo world now, a true fanatic, telling people the story of how his family "shunned" him. Which is complete bullshit.

That is admittedly just one anecdote. So I pose the question to CUF at large. How many of you know someone who has been shunned by their family for apostasy? In your own family or otherwise, it just has to be firsthand knowledge.

How many of our beloved board apostates here have been "shunned"?

I'm sure it happens, but most of what comes from that crowd seems to be 90% hyperbolic bullshit.

As I mentioned, the shunning thing is not what I've observed. I know a lot of people that just dropped out of activity and don't make a big deal as to why, and I've never seen any shunning. I know one couple who apostatized over intellectual reasons and were somewhat vocal about it. They have been met with some people gossiping about them, parents and siblings writing long, judgemental emails, etc, but they're invited to all the family get togethers and people treat them nicely and try to carry on the best they can in an awkward situation.

[myboynoah]

I wonder how much of this is spin though. You only seem to hear it from the exmo types.

In my own family, our experience was that the "apostate" basically left the family himself. He issued an ultimatum that basically said the rest of us had to leave if we were to have any association with him. He has since moved with no forwarding address provided to his parents or siblings. And yet he is very active in the exmo world now, a true fanatic, telling people the story of how his family "shunned" him. Which is complete bullshit.

That is admittedly just one anecdote. So I pose the question to CUF at large. How many of you know someone who has been shunned by their family for apostasy? In your own family or otherwise, it just has to be firsthand knowledge.

How many of our beloved board apostates here have been "shunned"?

I'm sure it happens, but most of what comes from that crowd seems to be 90% hyperbolic bullshit.

But it's your anecdote and your reality. You should write an opinion piece for the Post calling on former Mormons to be more tolerant.

[DU Ute]

PICTURE DELETED FOR BEING SEXIST CRAP

Attacking her (or praising her) based on her physical appearance is bush league and wouldn't happen if she was a man. This makes you look like an ass.

[FMCoug]

But it's your anecdote and your reality. You should write an opinion piece for the Post calling on former Mormons to be more tolerant.

The thing that is causing me cognitive dissonance on this thing is that someone as educated and successful as she is can't see the that. Exmo reads like the bathroom wall at a middle school ...

[Pheidippides]

I wonder how much of this is spin though. You only seem to hear it from the exmo types.

In my own family, our experience was that the "apostate" basically left the family himself. He issued an ultimatum that basically said the rest of us had to leave if we were to have any association with him. He has since moved with no forwarding address provided to his parents or siblings. And yet he is very active in the exmo world now, a true fanatic, telling people the story of how his family "shunned" him. Which is complete bullshit.

That is admittedly just one anecdote. So I pose the question to CUF at large. How many of you know someone who has been shunned by their family for apostasy? In your own family or otherwise, it just has to be firsthand knowledge.

How many of our beloved board apostates here have been "shunned"?

I'm sure it happens, but most of what comes from that crowd seems to be 90% hyperbolic bullshit.

I know many apostates. Most of my siblings, half my extended family, a significant portion of my wife's family, a good chunk of my friends. If you tally it up, over a hundred anecdotes. Never seen the mistreatment. Frankly, I have many more instances of active church members treating other actives poorly for one reason or another than I've even heard third hand of apostates being treated poorly.

[jay santos]

Attacking her (or praising her) based on her physical appearance is bush league and wouldn't happen if she was a man. This makes you look like an ass.

Relax, it was a generic follow up on a few other posts. Her picture is obviously not a myspace angle pic.

That said, it's a sports message board dominated by males. I will continue to post sexist stuff when the situation permits.

[wuapinmon]

[SuperGabers]

I think he pictures Jesus with giant eagles wings, singing lead for Lynard Skynard with an angel band and he and Super are in the front row hammered drunk off of 3 light beers.

Beer is sick. I am more of a wine and cocktail gal.