I learned in church today

[wuapinmon]

Maybe next Sunday I should put on a dress and nylons and attend Relief Society with many of the other second-class ward members.

Or maybe I should wear a scarlet "I" instead of a neck tie.

Or maybe I should show up with ear plugs and a bull horn. I could then start in on the virtues of Glenn Beck.

After all, satire is superior to sermon.

LOL. I believe that first one might get you escorted from the building. You could then show up next week like nothing had happened.

[Sleeping in EQ]

In all seriousness, there's just a disconnect between God as a listening, patient, non-respector of persons who wants to hear from us anytime and the Church, which is a one-way communication system that wouldn't give a deacon's flooded pants if it never heard a peep from the thralls in the wards.

The cultural studies person in me knows that satire, such as the instances I mentioned above, is sometimes resorted to when people feel like they have no voice. I'm not seriously considering it, I'm just finding it satisfying to imagine.

[NorthwestUteFan]

Sweet jebus that is messed up. What the hell kind of church is this? As a missionary I used to brag to non-members that you could walk into any ward, anywhere in the world, ask a bishopric member a question, and get the same answer wherever you were. My assumption of course was that he would likely know any gospel-related question off the top of his head, and if he didn't he would consult Mormon Doctrine or some such reference.

Sadly the wiser I later came to realize that this whole chocolate factory is being run by a bunch of rogue Willie Wonkas, and the rest of us are merely oompa loompas doing their (usually church-related) bidness. And don't you dare try to take home one of the squirrels.

Satire is a useful weapon in times like these. The penis mightier than the sword, or something like that.

[Jeff Lebowski]

In think these things are easier to navigate if you don't go around promoting yourself as an intellectual.

[DapperDan]

Sweet jebus that is messed up. What the hell kind of church is this? As a missionary I used to brag to non-members that you could walk into any ward, anywhere in the world, ask a bishopric member a question, and get the same answer wherever you were. My assumption of course was that he would likely know any gospel-related question off the top of his head, and if he didn't he would consult Mormon Doctrine or some such reference.

Sadly the wiser I later came to realize that this whole chocolate factory is being run by a bunch of rogue Willie Wonkas, and the rest of us are merely oompa loompas doing their (usually church-related) bidness. And don't you dare try to take home one of the squirrels.

Satire is a useful weapon in times like these. The penis mightier than the sword, or something like that.

Isn't that half the problem

[NorthwestUteFan]

Isn't that half the problem

It is a good portion of the problem, yes. When I was 19 that book was still de rigeur for missionaries and an acceptable form of "research" for doctrinal questions.

Looking back and reading it now, much of it is as useful as reading Wikipedia.

[wuapinmon]

In think these things are easier to navigate if you don't go around promoting yourself as an intellectual.

But I had a book tour and everything.

[Tone Loc]

It is a good portion of the problem, yes. When I was 19 that book was still de rigeur for missionaries and an acceptable form of "research" for doctrinal questions.

Looking back and reading it now, much of it is as useful as reading Wikipedia.

I know Mormon Doctrine gets a bad rap here (or everywhere) but really? What is this 'much' that you are referring to? If I remember reading MODOC most of it is bland in nature and isnt really disputed. I am thinking 95-98% when I say most.

[New Mexican Disaster]

It seems like those who most make fun of lawyers always seem to be the same ones fishing for free legal advice. "Brother YOhio, I have an interesting legal question for you...."

Try being a legal aid attorney in a poor ward sometime. I try to hide, but they always find me.

[NorthwestUteFan]

I know Mormon Doctrine gets a bad rap here (or everywhere) but really? What is this 'much' that you are referring to? If I remember reading MODOC most of it is bland in nature and isnt really disputed. I am thinking 95-98% when I say most.

You are probably correct. I must be focusing on the 3-5% and missing the roses for the thorns.

[creekster]

I know Mormon Doctrine gets a bad rap here (or everywhere) but really? What is this 'much' that you are referring to? If I remember reading MODOC most of it is bland in nature and isnt really disputed. I am thinking 95-98% when I say most.

Bland except when ti is wrong is not exactly a hearty endrosement.

[DapperDan]

It is a good portion of the problem, yes. When I was 19 that book was still de rigeur for missionaries and an acceptable form of "research" for doctrinal questions.

Looking back and reading it now, much of it is as useful as reading Wikipedia.

Sorry, I was mostly teasing. Not that I'm a MD fan. Mormon Doctrine was a staple in every good LDS member's library when I grew up.

[UtahDan]

In think these things are easier to navigate if you don't go around promoting yourself as an intellectual.

Ditto for being gay, a democrat, etc.

[woot]

It is a good portion of the problem, yes. When I was 19 that book was still de rigeur for missionaries and an acceptable form of "research" for doctrinal questions.

Looking back and reading it now, much of it is as useful as reading Wikipedia.

That is way too generous. Mormon Doctrine is intellectual vandalism that wouldn't last a minute if subjected to the editorial process of Wikipedia.

[Moliere]

Sweet jebus that is messed up. What the hell kind of church is this? As a missionary I used to brag to non-members that you could walk into any ward, anywhere in the world, ask a bishopric member a question, and get the same answer wherever you were. My assumption of course was that he would likely know any gospel-related question off the top of his head, and if he didn't he would consult Mormon Doctrine or some such reference.

Sadly the wiser I later came to realize that this whole chocolate factory is being run by a bunch of rogue Willie Wonkas, and the rest of us are merely oompa loompas doing their (usually church-related) bidness. And don't you dare try to take home one of the squirrels.

Satire is a useful weapon in times like these. The penis mightier than the sword, or something like that.

Sadly bishopric members (generally) hold themselves out to be spiritually on a different plane and members believe it. If you have a question, ask the bishopric member.

I know bishops and counselors that are quite certain that they don't have all the answers, but when asked a question or asked for confirmation during a lesson they feel like they have to uphold themselves as having the definitive word in the ward. So in essence, they play up to something they don't believe in because they think the congregation will think lesser of them if they don't.