I learned in church today

[Jeff Lebowski]

I learned in church today

It was a joke aimed at mocking the church's letter back in the 80s that stated the church was against oral sex.

Seriously, this should be podcast number two. Most folks will spend the first 4-5 episodes going over every detail of their exit from the church ad nauseum. But you should resist that urge (nobody cares), cover your exit in one podcast, and get right to this one on number two.

You can thank me later.

[Moliere]

Seriously, this should be podcast number two. Most folks will spend the first 4-5 episodes going over every detail of their exit from the church ad nauseum. But you should resist that urge (nobody cares), cover your exit in one podcast, and get right to this one on number two.

You can thank me later.

What if j just skip the whole podcast thing and write satirical plays that mock the church


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[Jeff Lebowski]

What if j just skip the whole podcast thing and write satirical plays that mock the church

Might be considered derivative, but certainly far more lucrative. Just be sure to have a kumbaya moment at the end.

[lambdacoug]

Might be considered derivative, but certainly far more lucrative. Just be sure to have a kumbaya moment at the end.

Just not with Utes... They're assholes.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

I got this email from the primary president the other day and it made me laugh.



I'm wondering what happens if her straight from the heart, sincere, written out and memorized testimony requires a little PriPres modification. I knew that these programs are tightly controlled, but this seemed a tad beyond.


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[Walter Sobchak]

Please tell me you did not name your kid Paisley.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

Please tell me you did not name your kid Paisley.

Okay.


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[Commando]

I got this email from the primary president the other day and it made me laugh.


I'm wondering what happens if her straight from the heart, sincere, written out and memorized testimony requires a little PriPres modification. I knew that these programs are tightly controlled, but this seemed a tad beyond.

Bahahaha. Without a hint of irony. I wouldn't reply.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I got this email from the primary president the other day and it made me laugh.



I'm wondering what happens if her straight from the heart, sincere, written out and memorized testimony requires a little PriPres modification. I knew that these programs are tightly controlled, but this seemed a tad beyond.

That's funny. Two days ago my wife got an e-mail from some random primary president who mistyped the email address directed to a woman with a similar name and her husband regarding an upcoming primary program (what are the odds it would go to another LDS woman?). The email went something like this:

"We are are preparing our primary program and your daughter's line is "The scriptures help me know what to do. I know the scriptures are true." We were going over the parts and your daughter said that she doesn't know the scriptures are true. Could you please work with her and explain to her that she does? If you like, I could come over and work with her for a while."

My wife responded and informed her that they had the wrong e-mail address. At the end of the message she added:

"And by the way, you should let ____ give her own testimony in her own words. The best ones are from the heart and organic."

You should have seen this woman backpedal when she responded to my wife's reply. It was funny.

[Green Monstah]

I learned that a FT missionary can barely get away with telling the story of Oedipus in sacrament meeting. I was laughing at the odd looks the ladies were giving each other. He nailed the ending "After learning that he had in fact killed his father and married his mother, he did what any logical person would do by rumning away, sticking needles in his eyes, and dying alone in the same wilderness he should have died in as an infant." Great way to start a talk on having faith in oracle...er..prophets.

[All-American]

That's funny. Two days ago my wife got an e-mail from some random primary president who mistyped the email address directed to a woman with a similar name and her husband regarding an upcoming primary program (what are the odds it would go to another LDS woman?). The email went something like this:

"We are are preparing our primary program and your daughter's line is "The scriptures help me know what to do. I know the scriptures are true." We were going over the parts and your daughter said that she doesn't know the scriptures are true. Could you please work with her and explain to her that she does? If you like, I could come over and work with her for a while."

My wife responded and informed her that they had the wrong e-mail address. At the end of the message she added:

"And by the way, you should let ____ give her own testimony in her own words. The best ones are from the heart and organic."

You should have seen this woman backpedal when she responded to my wife's reply. It was funny.

Yikes.

There are few things as scary as a well-intentioned Mormon on autopilot.

[Eddie]

Part of the reason that God wants us to be healthy is because if he ever asks us to take a sword and cut the arms off of a bunch of dudes trying to steal our sheep, we need to have the strength to be able to do it!

[Blueintheface]

The announcement as I entered the foyer:

"...if you don't have a gun, come anyway. If you have a bulletproof vest, bring that as well but it is not required."

[All-American]

Part of the reason that God wants us to be healthy is because if he ever asks us to take a sword and cut the arms off of a bunch of dudes trying to steal our sheep, we need to have the strength to be able to do it!

If Ye are prepared ye shall not fear.

[BigPiney]

Had our third stake conference of the year today. 4th one is in three weeks. Weird.