I learned in church today

[grapevine]

Daniel Johnson came to our Stake Conference and asked how many of y know Spanish. Y all do because when so counselor was doing Melchezedik Priesthood ordinations and did Spanish Speakers names in Spanish we all raised our hands. If yu don,t now Soanish repent. Need to ask if Heavenly Fath exists and has body of flesh and bones. Had dinner at one of his missionaries and got lost but hopefully so forgave him. Had wife come and speak so he could sit by her and not look at her in congregation. She said we have poor and rich so we can help them before government does and talked of initive,

I never made it to Saturday sessions though I would of liked too. Got home too late. Refugees were talked about too. Mp must of worked at Thiokol knew about the challenger and Columbia disasters and small things that caused them.

As for missionary following comp into bathroom I sometimes went while comp stayed in chapel, I never followed comp to bathroom. One comp kept door open and I plugged ears. Hated thought of what he was doing. Some missionaries wanted to mope around store and not be followed, or I followed some too closely they thought.

I hated them using 711 bathrooms and people talking to me by myself. But There were times I was away from comp for a few minutes.

Missionaries were to dress up shopping on play though some didn,t always follow that. Me included. One time some missionaries near headquarters didn,t dress up to shop and saw mp,s wife, she may have seen them but got out of dodge real quick. If they had groceries already would of tried to hide, or really been shit out of luck.

[Non Sequitur]

Daniel Johnson came to our Stake Conference and asked how many of y know Spanish. Y all do because when so counselor was doing Melchezedik Priesthood ordinations and did Spanish Speakers names in Spanish we all raised our hands. If yu don,t now Soanish repent. Need to ask if Heavenly Fath exists and has body of flesh and bones. Had dinner at one of his missionaries and got lost but hopefully so forgave him. Had wife come and speak so he could sit by her and not look at her in congregation. She said we have poor and rich so we can help them before government does and talked of initive,

I never made it to Saturday sessions though I would of liked too. Got home too late. Refugees were talked about too. Mp must of worked at Thiokol knew about the challenger and Columbia disasters and small things that caused them.

As for missionary following comp into bathroom I sometimes went while comp stayed in chapel, I never followed comp to bathroom. One comp kept door open and I plugged ears. Hated thought of what he was doing. Some missionaries wanted to mope around store and not be followed, or I followed some too closely they thought.

I hated them using 711 bathrooms and people talking to me by myself. But There were times I was away from comp for a few minutes.

Missionaries were to dress up shopping on play though some didn,t always follow that. Me included. One time some missionaries near headquarters didn,t dress up to shop and saw mp,s wife, she may have seen them but got out of dodge real quick. If they had groceries already would of tried to hide, or really been shit out of luck.

This is officially my favorite post ever on this site.

[TexTechCoug]

I caught the end of our youth speaker's talk. He told how he had spent Spring Break at Rocky Point with a friend and his friend's cousin. His friend was LDS and the friend's cousin seemed like a good guy and so the youth speaker assumed he was LDS. Later he ran into the cousin at a party, the cousin asked if our youth speaker drank. Youth speak, thinking it was a joke, replied "Sure, let's get turnt up."

Can't say I expected to hear turnt up in sacrament meeting, I also am old and lame and didn't know that getting turnt up was what happened when you drink.

[Katy Lied]

Last week our HC gave a great, positive talk. I learned later that an hour before, his car had been stolen from the Stake Center parking lot. I thought it admirable he was still so upbeat right after.

The week before, we had a lovely maori woman visiting from NZ bear her testimony. She told us that in her home ward, other than 1 family of four, everyone else in the ward was related to her husband. She is also related to that rugby phenom who went on a mission instead of going pro.

[LVAllen]

Spoke in sacrament this past Sunday. Spent a good chunk of my talk describing my attempts at following the JL method for preparing ribs, and how all was well until I inadvertently let the fire in the Traeger go out during the post-sauce cook. Likened it to letting spiritual fire go out. I don't know if anyone will remember the message, but they will remember that I talked about smoking ribs in sacrament meeting.

Note: Apparently, when the Traeger manual says not to try to re-light the firepot after an error, they REALLY, REALLY, REALLY mean not to try to relight the firepot until you've cleaned it out. My pellet grill turned into a burger king-style open flame grill. It was kind of exciting.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

Spoke in sacrament this past Sunday. Spent a good chunk of my talk describing my attempts at following the JL method for preparing ribs, and how all was well until I inadvertently let the fire in the Traeger go out during the post-sauce cook. Likened it to letting spiritual fire go out. I don't know if anyone will remember the message, but they will remember that I talked about smoking ribs in sacrament meeting.

Note: Apparently, when the Traeger manual says not to try to re-light the firepot after an error, they REALLY, REALLY, REALLY mean not to try to relight the firepot until you've cleaned it out. My pellet grill turned into a burger king-style open flame grill. It was kind of exciting.

Fast Sunday?!

[LVAllen]

Fast Sunday?!

No, it was a regular sacrament meeting. I don't know that I would have escaped the meeting with my life if I had talked about smoking ribs on a Fast Sunday. Also: JL's method is legit. Best ribs I've had in a long time, even if we had to finish them off in the oven. Meat came away from the bone perfectly. Even my oldest daughter, who is extremely picky about what she eats and doesn't like meat in general, deemed them "edible."

[Clark Addison]

Whoever sat in this pew during the previous block left a Stake PEC agenda from this morning in the hymn book slot, so I have already learned a whole lot today.

I have learned that due to some renovations at the Stake Center in a few weeks, most of the stake will have Sacrament Meeting only.

I learned the names of a few people being called to and released from callings, including some bishopric counselors.

I learned that Stake PEC seems about as boring as when I used to go to it.

Also, I saw Parrot Head's family walk into the chapel 5 minutes before church started and was very puzzled. Then, when Sr Parrot Head was announced as giving the invocation, everything was cleared up.

[thesaint258]

A visitor is trying to set a record for name-dropping church leaders he's related to.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

A visitor is trying to set a record for name-dropping church leaders he's related to.

Go up after and mention your eldest brother, JC. Game over.

[thesaint258]

Go up after and mention your eldest brother, JC. Game over.

That's probably the weirdest part of this whole thing. At the beginning of the meeting, the counselor specifically asked that testimonies focus on Christ. Then this guy got up and started telling everyone why he's better than the rest of the Kimballs because he's a descendant of Heber C. Kimball's first wife (as if that's better than being a descendant of one of his other forty-something wives). I checked out after he started talking about his brother failing a science class that one of President Eyring's relatives taught.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

This last Sunday during F&T meeting, which was generally above average, a woman took a few minutes to speak of her niece that she had spent some time with earlier that week. As an obvious proponent of the "Not Even Once" club, this woman emphasized repeatedly, that because of one, singular choice that this girl had made in high school, her life had been forever changed with little to no hope of ever returning to normalcy. I figured a paraplegic, or traumatic brain injury were some of the only options of meeting the qualifications for such a dire situation that she had painted. Because this girl had made the choice to drink alcohol while at a party in high school, she is now a 33 year old widow with five children. (Apparently this girl's husband had recently died of a drug overdose.)

[LVAllen]

I learned that there will be several more stakes in the Las Vegas area by the end of the year. Not because of growth, but because someone decided that 3000 members is the ideal size for a stake (and 400 memberw for wards) and coordinating councils that deviate too far from that are being required to create more stakes. No mention of whether this means people nominally on the rolls or people who actually attend, or people who actually attend and are willing to work. My guess is it's the former.

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[Donuthole]

I learned in church today

I learned that there will be several more stakes in the Las Vegas area by the end of the year. Not because of growth, but because someone decided that 3000 members is the ideal size for a stake (and 400 memberw for wards) and coordinating councils that deviate too far from that are being required to create more stakes. No mention of whether this means people nominally on the rolls or people who actually attend, or people who actually attend and are willing to work. My guess is it's the former.

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You can't use the former/latter identifiers when you offer more than two possibilities. Well, you can, it's just not going to make much sense.

[Moliere]

I learned that there will be several more stakes in the Las Vegas area by the end of the year. Not because of growth, but because someone decided that 3000 members is the ideal size for a stake (and 400 memberw for wards) and coordinating councils that deviate too far from that are being required to create more stakes. No mention of whether this means people nominally on the rolls or people who actually attend, or people who actually attend and are willing to work. My guess is it's the former.

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk

Our stake recently created two new wards. Some of that was growth but they also made an effort to reduce the size of the wards. We had around 275 active member before the split and now are down around 200. It's been tough to fill callings at that level since we have a really big primary and around 35 youth so a good sized youth program. We have been told that our ministering ratio is well below ideal...which means we have it easier than we should