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I learned in church today

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  • I'm not talking about device mode, silly. The building's wifi is turned off.
    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

    There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

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    • The high counselor speaking just dissed 90% of the stake when he shared a story about someone trying to break into his house back when his family first moved to Las Vegas and they lived in "one of those un-gated tract-home developments with the houses all right next to one another."
      Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

      There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

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      • Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
        The high counselor speaking just dissed 90% of the stake when he shared a story about someone trying to break into his house back when his family first moved to Las Vegas and they lived in "one of those un-gated tract-home developments with the houses all right next to one another."
        Hey, if you want to be important you need to live in a gated community. I don't live in a gated community, I am not important.
        Get confident, stupid
        -landpoke

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        • We are living in "the most horrible time in the history of the earth."
          Fitter. Happier. More Productive.

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          • Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
            We are living in "the most horrible time in the history of the earth."
            I can't imagine church has always been this boring, maybe it's true.
            Get confident, stupid
            -landpoke

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            • I learned that walking passed a gaggle of sisters outside the Relief Society room and casually hearing one of them mention their husband's bulging disc problems, can give one sudden pause.
              I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

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              • I learned that our stake is getting a new ward (created from other wards) and someone will have to go to church from 3-6pm for at least the next 18 months until a new building is constructed. We already don't have enough room so it'll be fun to see how this all goes. You'd think they'd build the building first and then split the wards, but that takes more faith I guess...
                "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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                • Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                  I learned that our stake is getting a new ward (created from other wards) and someone will have to go to church from 3-6pm for at least the next 18 months until a new building is constructed. We already don't have enough room so it'll be fun to see how this all goes. You'd think they'd build the building first and then split the wards, but that takes more faith I guess...
                  I think 3-6 church would be the final push for me to leave.
                  "I don't mind giving the church 10% of my earnings, but 50% of my weekend mornings? Not as long as DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket is around." - Daniel Tosh

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                  • Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                    I learned that our stake is getting a new ward (created from other wards) and someone will have to go to church from 3-6pm for at least the next 18 months until a new building is constructed. We already don't have enough room so it'll be fun to see how this all goes. You'd think they'd build the building first and then split the wards, but that takes more faith I guess...
                    Back in the day when sacrament mtg was on Sunday nights, how did that work with building sharing? I'm not quite old enough to remember.

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                    • I learned that 80 year old men getting their first computer and discovering "the internet" for the first time love to tell stories about The Facebook, email, and hog butchering.

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                      • I didn't fast today. Eating felt good.
                        Fitter. Happier. More Productive.

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                        • Originally posted by scottie View Post
                          Back in the day when sacrament mtg was on Sunday nights, how did that work with building sharing? I'm not quite old enough to remember.
                          Growing up, our building had only two wards. Priesthood meeting for both wards was at 8 am (one met in the chapel, the other in the Relief Society room). Sunday School started at 9:30 for one ward, 11:30 for the other, each for a total of 90 minutes. And Sacrament Meetings were at 4:30 and 6:30, although those were moved up to 4 and 6 later in my youth. And you young 'uns whine about a three-hour early afternoon block.

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                          • Originally posted by PaloAltoCougar View Post
                            Growing up, our building had only two wards. Priesthood meeting for both wards was at 8 am (one met in the chapel, the other in the Relief Society room). Sunday School started at 9:30 for one ward, 11:30 for the other, each for a total of 90 minutes. And Sacrament Meetings were at 4:30 and 6:30, although those were moved up to 4 and 6 later in my youth. And you young 'uns whine about a three-hour early afternoon block.
                            That sounds awful.
                            Get confident, stupid
                            -landpoke

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                            • Originally posted by PaloAltoCougar View Post
                              Growing up, our building had only two wards. Priesthood meeting for both wards was at 8 am (one met in the chapel, the other in the Relief Society room). Sunday School started at 9:30 for one ward, 11:30 for the other, each for a total of 90 minutes. And Sacrament Meetings were at 4:30 and 6:30, although those were moved up to 4 and 6 later in my youth. And you young 'uns whine about a three-hour early afternoon block.
                              And Sunday school had an opening exercises complete with opening song, hymn practice, and the sacrament. Plus, deacons were also assigned to pass in the junior sunday school, which was not primary, as that was held after school during the week. It was just plain old Sunday School for kids. And sacrament didnt have a specified end time. It just went on until everyone was done.
                              PLesa excuse the tpyos.

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                              • PAC and creek, that just sounds brutal.

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