I learned in church today

[Dwight Schr-ute]

I learned that the seats behind the pulpit are the most comfortable seats in the chapel. Today was our primary program. Our 4 year old was assigned a spot where we could only see him when he stood up. We never saw him. Turns out he fell asleep during the Sacrament hymn and slept through the whole program. Unfortunately, he didn't have a speaking part.


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[bluegoose]

Not so much what I learned today in church as it is a random musing from sacrament meeting today.

At the age of 39, I figure that I can recall church services pretty well over the last 31 years or so. Accounting for 4 Sundays of General and stake conference and 2 annual sick or vacation days, I can safely say I've been aware of what's going on in about 1,426 sacrament meetings in my lifetime. Give or take. Not that I remember what happened in each one, but if something crazy were to happened over that time, I should be able to remember it.

That being said, I consider it a modern day miracle that over that time frame I have never seen a sacrament tray go tumbling to the floor. Bread or water. Nothing. I don't understand it. I've been looking forward to that day for many years when the silent reverence of the meeting abruptly ends with the loud clanging of a water tray crashing to the floor at the hands of a careless 4 year old boy, sending dozens of miniature plastic cups flying in every direction. Young children all around, dropping to the floor like party goers at a 6 years old's birthday party after the piñata is finally destroyed by the older 12 year old sibling. In my mind, I am picturing the guy that regularly sits next to us in the pew as the guy in that recurring restaurant scene from "What About Bob?", when the waiter drops the tray in the background and the restaurant patron nears Bob belts out 4 or 5 loud, sarcastic claps, applauding their recklessness.

For those more experienced members of the board, how long will I have to wait to witness this? I am growing weary and impatient.

[cougjunkie]

Not so much what I learned today in church as it is a random musing from sacrament meeting today.

At the age of 39, I figure that I can recall church services pretty well over the last 31 years or so. Accounting for 4 Sundays of General and stake conference and 2 annual sick or vacation days, I can safely say I've been aware of what's going on in about 1,426 sacrament meetings in my lifetime. Give or take. Not that I remember what happened in each one, but if something crazy were to happened over that time, I should be able to remember it.

That being said, I consider it a modern day miracle that over that time frame I have never seen a sacrament tray go tumbling to the floor. Bread or water. Nothing. I don't understand it. I've been looking forward to that day for many years when the silent reverence of the meeting abruptly ends with the loud clanging of a water tray crashing to the floor at the hands of a careless 4 year old boy, sending dozens of miniature plastic cups flying in every direction. Young children all around, dropping to the floor like party goers at a 6 years old's birthday party after the piñata is finally destroyed by the older 12 year old sibling. In my mind, I am picturing the guy that regularly sits next to us in the pew as the guy in that recurring restaurant scene from "What About Bob?", when the waiter drops the tray in the background and the restaurant patron nears Bob belts out 4 or 5 loud, sarcastic claps, applauding their recklessness.

For those more experienced members of the board, how long will I have to wait to witness this? I am growing weary and impatient.

That is funny. I also have never seen it, however a young boy in front of me was very close today. The bottom of the tray was full of water making it lopsided. Luckily his mom swooped in at the last minute.

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[myboynoah]

Not so much what I learned today in church as it is a random musing from sacrament meeting today.

At the age of 39, I figure that I can recall church services pretty well over the last 31 years or so. Accounting for 4 Sundays of General and stake conference and 2 annual sick or vacation days, I can safely say I've been aware of what's going on in about 1,426 sacrament meetings in my lifetime. Give or take. Not that I remember what happened in each one, but if something crazy were to happened over that time, I should be able to remember it.

That being said, I consider it a modern day miracle that over that time frame I have never seen a sacrament tray go tumbling to the floor. Bread or water. Nothing. I don't understand it. I've been looking forward to that day for many years when the silent reverence of the meeting abruptly ends with the loud clanging of a water tray crashing to the floor at the hands of a careless 4 year old boy, sending dozens of miniature plastic cups flying in every direction. Young children all around, dropping to the floor like party goers at a 6 years old's birthday party after the piñata is finally destroyed by the older 12 year old sibling. In my mind, I am picturing the guy that regularly sits next to us in the pew as the guy in that recurring restaurant scene from "What About Bob?", when the waiter drops the tray in the background and the restaurant patron nears Bob belts out 4 or 5 loud, sarcastic claps, applauding their recklessness.

For those more experienced members of the board, how long will I have to wait to witness this? I am growing weary and impatient.

I remember way back in the old days a friend of mine and fellow deacon fainting while passing the sacrament in Jr. Sunday School, but he didn't have a tray at the time (he was standing at the table between the bread and water sets). Those were the days when Jr. Sunday School was the passing and blessing minor leagues for new deacons and priests. Now days everyone is called up to the majors right off the bat, like bonus babies, even if they don't deserve it.

Back on topic, it is quite remarkable that we don't have more accidents.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

I learned that family history can be addicting...

Did you offer information on the time and location of the LDS addiction class in your stake?

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

In the last 2 months Hawk has pushed a bread try out of the half grip of ldc onto the floor and then more recently grabbed two fistfuls of bread and crammed all into his mouth while his brother screamed "HAWK STOP!" It wasn't as exciting as you imagine.

[TripletDaddy]

In the last 2 months Hawk has pushed a bread try out of the half grip of ldc onto the floor and then more recently grabbed two fistfuls of bread and crammed all into his mouth while his brother screamed "HAWK STOP!" It wasn't as exciting as you imagine.

I've seen this, as well. I think I posted about it years ago on CG. Someone is passing the tray to a mom holding an irate toddler. The toddler is grumpy and swings its arm, sending the tray and bread everywhere.

I do still remember it vividly but not sure it will be everything bluegoose is building it up to be.

Ive also seen someone faint at the pulpit. That was really cool, actually.

[Omaha 680]

Sacrament tray drop story: I am only a few years younger than bluegoose, but I witnessed a bread tray being dropped at the tender age of 10. Well, I witnessed the bread amraggedeon aftermath in the aisle after hearing the tray fall. My brother was the unfortunate deacon who was in charge of that tray. As he tells the story, there was this weird dude (who happend to be the deacons quorum advisor) who refused to use the handle on the bread tray. He would put his fingertips under the bottom of the tray and pass it on to the next person in his family like he was bringing a meal to a table in a restaurant. One the transfer back to my brother, the waiter guy lost control and tipped the tray on to the floor. My brother was pissed because he knew everyone thought he dropped it.

Fainting story: The chorister fainted during the closing hymn when we were visiting the Nauvoo ward once. It was a generally odd meeting with a departing missionary giving a confession in his talk about using the infamous NCMO.com website. After the chorister fainted, the song stopped abruptly and the meeting quickly ended with the closing prayer.

[Clark Addison]

I've seen this, as well. I think I posted about it years ago on CG. Someone is passing the tray to a mom holding an irate toddler. The toddler is grumpy and swings its arm, sending the tray and bread everywhere.

I do still remember it vividly but not sure it will be everything bluegoose is building it up to be.

Ive also seen someone faint at the pulpit. That was really cool, actually.

Howard W Hunter? Yeah, I saw that one too.

I also saw a very nervous young wife faint once. That was fun.

[Surfah]

A kid in my deacons quorum ate it coming down the stairs from the stand. Somehow he tripped down those two stairs and went sprawling face first and pretty much belly flopped onto the floor sending his bread tray everywhere. I was in the back on the same side he was working my way to the front so I had a perfect view. It was really funny.

[Sizzle]

I learned in church today

Not so much what I learned today in church as it is a random musing from sacrament meeting today.

At the age of 39, I figure that I can recall church services pretty well over the last 31 years or so. Accounting for 4 Sundays of General and stake conference and 2 annual sick or vacation days, I can safely say I've been aware of what's going on in about 1,426 sacrament meetings in my lifetime. Give or take. Not that I remember what happened in each one, but if something crazy were to happened over that time, I should be able to remember it.

That being said, I consider it a modern day miracle that over that time frame I have never seen a sacrament tray go tumbling to the floor. Bread or water. Nothing. I don't understand it. I've been looking forward to that day for many years when the silent reverence of the meeting abruptly ends with the loud clanging of a water tray crashing to the floor at the hands of a careless 4 year old boy, sending dozens of miniature plastic cups flying in every direction. Young children all around, dropping to the floor like party goers at a 6 years old's birthday party after the piñata is finally destroyed by the older 12 year old sibling. In my mind, I am picturing the guy that regularly sits next to us in the pew as the guy in that recurring restaurant scene from "What About Bob?", when the waiter drops the tray in the background and the restaurant patron nears Bob belts out 4 or 5 loud, sarcastic claps, applauding their recklessness.

For those more experienced members of the board, how long will I have to wait to witness this? I am growing weary and impatient.

We had an incident yesterday that I was able to see. The freshly minted deacon was passing the bread out in the hall on the way back in to the chapel. Outside, the other ward was heading to their classes. As he neared the door, there was a collision between the deacon and what looked to be a teacher from the other ward. He held on to the tray but bread went everywhere. You could tell he was in a bit of a panic. He paused, then started to bend over like he was going to pick up the dropped bread. I gave him the quick shaken of the head, probably with eyes wide like "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!?!" and nodded to him to come back in the chapel. He was supposed to bring the tray to our row, but didn't. I didn't complain too much.

It wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.

[Clark Addison]

A kid in my deacons quorum ate it coming down the stairs from the stand. Somehow he tripped down those two stairs and went sprawling face first and pretty much belly flopped onto the floor sending his bread tray everywhere. I was in the back on the same side he was working my way to the front so I had a perfect view. It was really funny.

Did the whole congregation cheer, like the middle school cafeteria does when someone drops a tray?

[Hypoplastic]

I learned yesterday that the single most important thing you can do to prevent yourself from becoming an apostate is to study non-canonical teachings of Brigham Young and other early prophets of this dispensation.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

Howard W Hunter? Yeah, I saw that one too.

I also saw a very nervous young wife faint once. That was fun.

Honeymoon?

[Uncle Ted]

I learned yesterday that the single most important thing you can do to prevent yourself from becoming an apostate is to study non-canonical teachings of Brigham Young and other early prophets of this dispensation.

Cool... I like the idea that Adam and Eve rode in an UFO from Kolob to Earth and Adam was the literal, biological father of Jesus.