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I learned in church today

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  • I learned that the 400+% inflow of mission applications is starting to hit here in Vegas. Our ward has just recently switched to having a companionship assigned to our ward where we used to share them with multiple wards. This means more meal assignments and what I'm looking forward to the most as a ward missionary, splits twice a week!
    I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

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    • The sacrament meeting speaker started off emphasizing that we can't work our way to heaven. He then went on to explain that a lack of sin is not sufficient for salvation, but we must be anxiously engaged in good works. I'm sure he's just being imprecise with his words, but thought it humorous.
      Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

      "Cog dis is a bitch." -James Patterson

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      • Our stake patriarch spoke today and mentioned that he shaved his beard this week after wearing one for 40 years. He said he wanted to try something new. He's been the patriarch for about 20 years so it wasn't church related.

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        • I learned that god killed off 70, 000 plus people in the tampora volcano eruption so that the smith's crops would fail and they would have to move to palmyra

          Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk 2
          "Friendship is the grand fundamental principle of Mormonism" - Joseph Smith Jr.

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          • Originally posted by Sullyute View Post
            I learned that god killed off 70, 000 plus people in the tampora volcano eruption so that the smith's crops would fail and they would have to move to palmyra

            Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk 2
            He works in mysterious ways.
            "Sure, I fought. I had to fight all my life just to survive. They were all against me. Tried every dirty trick to cut me down, but I beat the bastards and left them in the ditch."

            - Ty Cobb

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            • Originally posted by Sullyute View Post
              I learned that god killed off 70, 000 plus people in the tampora volcano eruption so that the smith's crops would fail and they would have to move to palmyra

              Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk 2
              Lol. That's a bit different than the way I talked about Tambora last week.
              Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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              • I'm on sex offender guard duty today. I get to sit outside the primary room, surf the net and make sure nobody bothers the kiddos when they go to the bathroom or get a drink of water.
                "I'm going to go back to CUF now, where the censorship is less, the average IQ is higher, and we don't have to deal with so much of this nonsense. Goodbye." - SoonerCoug

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                • Does the "let's break into groups" technique ever work in a church lesson setting? Not that I have seen.
                  "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                  "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                  "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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                  • Originally posted by Sullyute View Post
                    I learned that god killed off 70, 000 plus people in the tampora volcano eruption so that the smith's crops would fail and they would have to move to palmyra

                    Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk 2
                    Well, they weren't going to get the gospel without the restoration. Their lives may have been cut short, but they'll get a chance to accept it in the next life. So net win.
                    τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

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                    • Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                      Does the "let's break into groups" technique ever work in a church lesson setting? Not that I have seen.
                      Usually not, no. It's most often a lazy person's copout.

                      I did it once where I thought it mostly worked, though, in a lesson I did on the First Vision. I broke the class into four groups and gave each one version of the First Vision and told them to read over it, then we brought the entire class back together to construct a "comprehensive" timeline.
                      τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

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                      • Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                        Does the "let's break into groups" technique ever work in a church lesson setting? Not that I have seen.
                        fify
                        Te Occidere Possunt Sed Te Edere Non Possunt Nefas Est.

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                        • Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                          Does the "let's break into groups" technique ever work in a church lesson setting? Not that I have seen.
                          When I taught Sunday school in college it seemed effective every week. I could read the lesson while everyone chatted for 5-10 min to start the hour.

                          People got a chance to work their game and I got to prepare the lesson. Seemed like a real win\win.

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                          • Originally posted by camleish View Post
                            fify
                            It works great when you are teaching topics involving some kind of problem solving or programming where an immediate application helps cement the concept you are covering.
                            "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                            "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                            "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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                            • Originally posted by All-American View Post
                              Usually not, no. It's most often a lazy person's copout..
                              Yes. Always.

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                              • A member of our bishopric spoke and mentioned an LDS friend of his who, while growing up as a teenager in Half Moon Bay, was always looking for big waves to surf. The friend kept looking out beyond Pilar Point and decided he'd try the huge waves that he could see way off the coast. Everyone thought he was insane or suicidal, but he did it anyway, and went on to surf those waves, alone, for several years, although his parents were blissfully ignorant of what he was doing.

                                Eventually, big wave surfers from around the world caught on to what the friend, Jeff Clark, was doing and the Mavericks surf competition was born, all because of crazy Mormon kid.

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