I learned in church today

[TexTechCoug]

The next time he speaks, you should stuff your mouth full of goldfish and eat them cookie monster style (grunts included).

That made me laugh pretty hard. I can just picture a guy in a suit with broken goldfish spilling out of his mouth.

[TexTechCoug]

In last year's ward conference, the same SP counselor called out a brand new member (baptized the previous evening) during his discussion of wearing white shirts (as a way to show respect for the sacrament) by saying he was confident that Brother R (who is on disability for an injury sustained on the bomb squad in Afghanistan and who is raising three young boys alone because his wife is in jail for trying to murder him, and who was wearing a nice blue shirt that day) would be wearing a white shirt the following Sunday.

We have another new member, a 16-year-old who happens to have long hair, and who happened to be blessing the sacrament yesterday - I was afraid Pres. C was going to call him out - fortunately (I guess) he was more focused on calling out the mothers with snacks in their diaper bags.

First rate douche bag. I'll bet he'd never allow his son to marry a girl with two piercings.

[RobinFinderson]

Why not just remind folks to clean up after themselves if they bring snacks for the little chilluns? Seems to be a reasonable request.

I always bring food to Church. For me. Forget the Puffy Check. MMM brings their snacks. I get hungry or bored so I am always rocking some foodstuffs. I used to bring some outrageous stuff to Sacrament back when we lived in OC. A friend and I went through a phase wherein we would try to out-do each other every week.....I'm talking sneaking in full sandwiches, thermos full of soup, pizza slice, etc. The best thing my friend ever brought was scrambled eggs and bacon with a pancake. One of my better efforts was walking in during the opening hymn and eating a scoop of ice cream in a cone.

All of this came to an end once MMM had decided enough was enough. It was a fun 3 or 4 months of Church, though. These days my snacks are much more tame because I am in the Primary and don't want to share my stuff with the kids.

Scrambled eggs, bacon and a pancake?! While your own accomplishments are very impressive, I think he wins in the xtreme sacramental snacking competition.

[Omaha 680]

Scrambled eggs, bacon and a pancake?! While your own accomplishments are very impressive, I think he wins in the xtreme sacramental snacking competition.

That would be a great spread for the sacrament itself. A couple months ago the YM forgot the bread. Our branch president sent someone out to get some, while I suggested we use the leftover sweet rolls and turnovers in his office that he brought for morning meetings. He reluctantly agreed, if needed. The person he sent got back with bread in time.

[TripletDaddy]

Scrambled eggs, bacon and a pancake?! While your own accomplishments are very impressive, I think he wins in the xtreme sacramental snacking competition.

I dont disagree, although the bacon and scrambled eggs were in a sandwich baggie.

[myboynoah]

I dont disagree, although the bacon and scrambled eggs were in a sandwich baggie.

A cold pancake and scrambled eggs and bacon from a sandwich baggie . . .

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

How about the bow-tie epidemic? I'd like to see something done about THAT!

When I was in YM all the YM met together one Sunday to be taught by the bishop, topic "How to dress for the priesthood". We had a kid who had kind of stopped coming there that day, wearing a bow-tie.

The bishop said that ties with cartoons, characters or of course bow-ties do not fit in with the priesthood. The kid was upset and I said I thought bow-tie was fine, or better yet he could go no tie. I was released shortly thereafter.

[Green Monstah]

When I was in YM all the YM met together one Sunday to be taught by the bishop, topic "How to dress for the priesthood". We had a kid who had kind of stopped coming there that day, wearing a bow-tie.

The bishop said that ties with cartoons, characters or of course bow-ties do not fit in with the priesthood. The kid was upset and I said I thought bow-tie was fine, or better yet he could go no tie. I was released shortly thereafter.

I just don't get the motivation behind that. PH leaders should see what the YM's peers wear at other churches. Just be glad that teenagers come to a church at all.

[DrumNFeather]

When I was in YM all the YM met together one Sunday to be taught by the bishop, topic "How to dress for the priesthood". We had a kid who had kind of stopped coming there that day, wearing a bow-tie.

The bishop said that ties with cartoons, characters or of course bow-ties do not fit in with the priesthood. The kid was upset and I said I thought bow-tie was fine, or better yet he could go no tie. I was released shortly thereafter.

Yeah, we have a good mix of bow-tie wearers in our ward...it's goofy and i've never seen it done by so many people in one ward, but it's also kind of refreshing. One of the guys that wears one probably every other Sunday is in the bishopric, so that's good.

[doctorcoug]

"read page 49 and the first paragraph on page 50. Why do you think the Lord makes His authority available to all worthy men instead of restricting it to a few men with formal training?"

What an untimely SNAFU from the correlation department.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

Welfare is evil and don't vote for people that support it. There is no reason for people to be anything but " self-reliant". He said "self-reliant" at least 15 times in his talk and also taught the parable of te seagulls, seagulls die because shrimp boats feed them then leave, we must stop the government shrimp boats!

Worst sacrament talk I've heard in years.

[Uncle Ted]

When I was in YM all the YM met together one Sunday to be taught by the bishop, topic "How to dress for the priesthood". We had a kid who had kind of stopped coming there that day, wearing a bow-tie.

The bishop said that ties with cartoons, characters or of course bow-ties do not fit in with the priesthood. The kid was upset and I said I thought bow-tie was fine, or better yet he could go no tie. I was released shortly thereafter.

When I do wear a (normal) tie it is usually one that has peace sign symbols as the pattern. Once I was questioned by a member of the bishopric about my tie choice and ask me if I knew what that symbol means. After telling it is the internationally recognized symbol for peace and nuclear disarmament I told him that to me I believe that Christ would be one that would promote piece rather than war. And with His long hair and beard he looked like a hippie to me so it helps me think of Him when I wear it. It seemed the last part made him a little upset. I still wear that tie and didn't get me released from the YMs.

[Northwestcoug]

When I do wear a (normal) tie it is usually one that has peace sign symbols as the pattern. Once I was questioned by a member of the bishopric about my tie choice and ask me if I knew what that symbol means. After telling it is the internationally recognized symbol for peace and nuclear disarmament I told him that to me I believe that Christ would be one that would promote piece rather than war. And with His long hair and beard he looked like a hippie to me so it helps me think of Him when I wear it. It seemed the last part made him a little upset. I still wear that tie and didn't get me released from the YMs.

Maybe you should get a second pair of earrings.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I learned that last year the Provo utah mission (Utah county and south) had 3000 convert baptisms.

[doctorcoug]

I learned that last year the Provo utah mission (Utah county and south) had 3000 convert baptisms.

Per ward?