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I learned in church today

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  • #8101
    Originally posted by clackamascoug View Post
    You know how the saying goes... if you don't think your seminary teachers were BSC - it's because your BSC too.

    bazinga!
    That’s a fair point.
    "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
    "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
    "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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    • #8102
      Originally posted by clackamascoug View Post
      You know how the saying goes... if you don't think your seminary teachers were BSC - it's because your BSC too.

      bazinga!
      I guess that's me too.

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      • #8103
        Few things make me want to renounce my membership more than open Q and A sessions at stake training meetings.

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        • #8104
          Originally posted by Clark Addison View Post
          Few things make me want to renounce my membership more than open Q and A sessions at stake training meetings.
          What are these meetings you speak of. Although 3 extra takes of a two measure part that the trumpets couldn't get right kinda sucked tonight too.
          “Every player dreams of being a Yankee, and if they don’t it’s because they never got the chance.” Aroldis Chapman

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          • #8105
            Originally posted by Surfah View Post
            Since we're sharing batshit crazy things seminary teachers said, my freshman year I had a teacher who was a mortician. He was a weird dude. One day he told us he saw Satan. They had a rocking chair at the funeral home and it began to rock. Then Satan basically materialized sitting in the chair and rocking. Our seminary teacher promptly cast him out. Someone in the class asked what Satan looked like and he said he looked very neat and handsome. Lol.
            Interesting. As I think about this, I realize that I have yet to meet an LDS mortician or an LDS someone who worked for one (and strangely, I've known several) who doesn't have a similar batshit crazy story like this. I mean, I've never heard one where it was Satan, but they seem to all believe they've seen and spoken with a ghost/spirit at some point. I get the sense that it's part of the LDS after-life care culture.

            I've only known one non-LDS person in the field. She grew up in a funeral home and was mildly religious. I asked her if she had any cool stories of seeing spirits and what not and she was like "uh no, I'm not crazy, just the daughter of a mortician."

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            • #8106
              Originally posted by Surfah View Post
              Since we're sharing batshit crazy things seminary teachers said, my freshman year I had a teacher who was a mortician. He was a weird dude. One day he told us he saw Satan. They had a rocking chair at the funeral home and it began to rock. Then Satan basically materialized sitting in the chair and rocking. Our seminary teacher promptly cast him out. Someone in the class asked what Satan looked like and he said he looked very neat and handsome. Lol.
              i believe him.

              I'm like LeBron James.
              -mpfunk

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              • #8107
                Originally posted by smokymountainrain View Post
                i believe him.

                Handsome, yes, but I’ve always pictured him as more of an 80’s jazz dancer.

                Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

                There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

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                • #8108
                  Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
                  Handsome, yes, but I’ve always pictured him as more of an 80’s jazz dancer.

                  Why not both?

                  imageproxy.jpg

                  Tbh, they look kind of similar, just a few decades apart.
                  "...you pointy-headed autopsy nerd. Do you think it's possible for you to post without using words like "hilarious," "absurd," "canard," and "truther"? Your bare assertions do not make it so. Maybe your reasoning is too stunted and your vocabulary is too limited to go without these epithets."
                  "You are an intemperate, unscientific poster who makes light of very serious matters.”
                  - SeattleUte

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                  • #8109
                    Originally posted by Surfah View Post
                    Since we're sharing batshit crazy things seminary teachers said, my freshman year I had a teacher who was a mortician. He was a weird dude. One day he told us he saw Satan. They had a rocking chair at the funeral home and it began to rock. Then Satan basically materialized sitting in the chair and rocking. Our seminary teacher promptly cast him out. Someone in the class asked what Satan looked like and he said he looked very neat and handsome. Lol.
                    What an anticlimatic scene. Satan in a rocking chair ...
                    Last edited by frank ryan; 11-08-2019, 10:28 PM.

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                    • #8110
                      The stake president in the ward I visited this weekend spent a good five minutes telling the EQ that the brethren are emphasizing the use of “bishop” and “president” when addressing people at church in those respective callings. Utah wards, smh.
                      "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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                      • #8111
                        Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                        The stake president in the ward I visited this weekend spent a good five minutes telling the EQ that the brethren are emphasizing the use of “bishop” and “president” when addressing people at church in those respective callings. Utah wards, smh.
                        When serving in such an entitled office, I insisted on "Excellency." Most complied.

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                        • #8112
                          Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                          The stake president in the ward I visited this weekend spent a good five minutes telling the EQ that the brethren are emphasizing the use of “bishop” and “president” when addressing people at church in those respective callings. Utah wards, smh.
                          You don't call your bishop "Bishop"?
                          Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

                          Dig your own grave, and save!

                          "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

                          "I know that you are one of the cool and 'edgy' BYU fans" -- Wally

                          GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

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                          • #8113
                            Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                            The stake president in the ward I visited this weekend spent a good five minutes telling the EQ that the brethren are emphasizing the use of “bishop” and “president” when addressing people at church in those respective callings. Utah wards, smh.
                            I didn't hear the stake president say anything in church this weekend.
                            "I think it was King Benjamin who said 'you sorry ass shitbags who have no skills that the market values also have an obligation to have the attitude that if one day you do in fact win the PowerBall Lottery that you will then impart of your substance to those without.'"
                            - Goatnapper'96

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                            • #8114
                              Originally posted by falafel View Post
                              You don't call your bishop "Bishop"?
                              Not usually, even at church. We are friends and served in a bishopric together so I generally use his first name, especially in friendly chats in the hallway.
                              "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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                              • #8115
                                Originally posted by Pelado View Post
                                I didn't hear the stake president say anything in church this weekend.
                                I usually don’t either. Even when he is talking.
                                τὸν ἥλιον ἀνατέλλοντα πλείονες ἢ δυόμενον προσκυνοῦσιν

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