I learned in church today

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  • FMCoug
    Senior Member
    • Nov 2008
    • 6825

    #2671
    Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post


    That's the most obnoxious thing you have ever experienced?
    I said one of.
    "It's true that everything happens for a reason. Just remember that sometimes that reason is that you did something really, really, stupid."

    Comment

    • smokymountainrain
      Impressive Member
      • Nov 2008
      • 22593

      #2672
      Originally posted by FMCoug View Post
      Tearimonies where they come up already sobbing and you have no idea what they are saying (for 10 minutes) are one of the most obnoxious things one can experience.
      Imagine how obnoxious it must be for the person doing it, who can't help it and would like nothing more than to be able to share her feelings without shedding tears.
      I'm like LeBron James.
      -mpfunk

      Comment

      • Solon
        Lost in the flood
        • Nov 2008
        • 5747

        #2673
        Originally posted by smokymountainrain View Post
        who can't help it and would like nothing more than to be able to share her feelings without shedding tears.
        Sexist pig.
        "More crazy people to Provo go than to any other town in the state."
        -- Iron County Record. 23 August, 1912. (http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lc...23/ed-1/seq-4/)

        Comment

        • smokymountainrain
          Impressive Member
          • Nov 2008
          • 22593

          #2674
          Originally posted by Solon View Post
          Sexist pig.
          I was describing a specific person and she happens to a woman.
          I'm like LeBron James.
          -mpfunk

          Comment

          • Solon
            Lost in the flood
            • Nov 2008
            • 5747

            #2675
            Originally posted by smokymountainrain View Post
            I was describing a specific person and she happens to a woman.
            Are you in FM Coug's ward?
            "More crazy people to Provo go than to any other town in the state."
            -- Iron County Record. 23 August, 1912. (http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lc...23/ed-1/seq-4/)

            Comment

            • Uncle Ted
              The Big 12 money shot.
              • Apr 2010
              • 28853

              #2676
              Originally posted by Hypoplastic View Post
              I learned at regional conference that I shouldn't be a part of a paramilitary organization.
              Does that include the Boy Scouts?

              The Explorers program, a coeducational affiliate of the Boy Scouts of America that began 60 years ago, is training thousands of young people in skills used to confront terrorism, illegal immigration and escalating border violence — an intense ratcheting up of one of the group’s longtime missions to prepare youths for more traditional jobs as police officers and firefighters.
              Last edited by Uncle Ted; 09-30-2012, 01:35 PM.
              "If there is one thing I am, it's always right." -Ted Nugent.
              "I honestly believe saying someone is a smart lawyer is damning with faint praise. The smartest people become engineers and scientists." -SU.
              "Yet I still see wisdom in that which Uncle Ted posts." -creek.
              GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

              Comment

              • Moliere
                One man.....one pie
                • Oct 2009
                • 27798

                #2677
                I learned that even though no one could see (or even light a fire) someone was able to transcribe exactly what Christ said just before he came down to visit the nephites.
                "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

                Comment

                • Tim
                  Not Banned
                  • Nov 2008
                  • 4390

                  #2678
                  Originally posted by smokymountainrain View Post
                  Imagine how obnoxious it must be for the person doing it, who can't help it and would like nothing more than to be able to share her feelings without shedding tears.
                  But 10 minutes? I'd give a self-aware person 30 seconds max before saying to him/herself, "You know, I would bet that with my tear-filled mumbling no one can understand me. I'll try and share my feelings at another time or some other way," then sit down.
                  Visca Catalunya Lliure

                  Comment

                  • FMCoug
                    Senior Member
                    • Nov 2008
                    • 6825

                    #2679
                    We had a doozy for our combined 3rd hour meeting today. Following the prophet. 14 points with groups from the class to come up with example for each item. Stuff like the prophet will never lead you astray, the proud (learned and rich) don't follow the prophet, "thus saieth the Lord" is not required, etc.

                    TGFSP.
                    "It's true that everything happens for a reason. Just remember that sometimes that reason is that you did something really, really, stupid."

                    Comment

                    • Jeff Lebowski
                      Corporate lackey for Jesus
                      • Nov 2008
                      • 69474

                      #2680
                      Please. I can honestly say that I have never heard someone bear testimony for 10 minutes where I couldn't understand anything they said.

                      Lets be honest here. You are just being condescending to emotional members.
                      "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                      "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                      "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

                      Comment

                      • Topper
                        Pre-Historic Man
                        • Nov 2011
                        • 11764

                        #2681
                        Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                        Please. I can honestly say that I have never heard someone bear testimony for 10 minutes where I couldn't understand anything they said.

                        Lets be honest here. You are just being condescending to emotional members.
                        I don't know about FMC, but I once heard a brother, whom we all loved and has Down's Syndrome, give a testimony which I couldn't understand anything he said. I understood he loved being at church, because he does. Much more than that was a complete mystery. Just wanted to interject there have been testimonies where I didn't understand what somebody was saying.
                        "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

                        Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

                        Comment

                        • Pheidippides
                          Liberal Feminazi
                          • Nov 2008
                          • 14759

                          #2682
                          I had a great day in church today. I watched an entertaining - if not necessarily inspiring - talk that broke just about every rule about props at the pulpit when the speaker practically constructed a sensory deprivation chamber around a kid (that was not his, btw - the kid was rewarded with candy) and then taught a lesson in which I called Mormon a bad editor, said that Brigham Young was guilty of treason, and discovered a new student of church history in front of my eyes. And then I exercised my two hour church option when the third hour got a bit much.
                          Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

                          Comment

                          • Topper
                            Pre-Historic Man
                            • Nov 2011
                            • 11764

                            #2683
                            Originally posted by nikuman View Post
                            I had a great day in church today. I watched an entertaining - if not necessarily inspiring - talk that broke just about every rule about props at the pulpit when the speaker practically constructed a sensory deprivation chamber around a kid (that was not his, btw - the kid was rewarded with candy) and then taught a lesson in which I called Mormon a bad editor, said that Brigham Young was guilty of treason, and discovered a new student of church history in front of my eyes. And then I exercised my two hour church option when the third hour got a bit much.
                            When did they re-institute the third hour?
                            "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

                            Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

                            Comment

                            • Dwight Schr-ute
                              Members Only
                              • May 2011
                              • 4917

                              #2684
                              Today for the combined Relie Society/Priesthood 3rd hour, we had someone from the stake come in and talk about being politically assertive. (Didn't like where this was headed.) I was implored by my friend's wife to sit by him as she hoped that putting the two Democrats together would keep either of them from raising their hand. According to said friend, who is the ward clerk, the original title of the presentation was "Speaking with one Voice." He had highly recommended that they consider a title a little less wholesale.

                              Anyway, the presentation ended up focusing one voter registration and using this Mormon moment as a missionary tool. All fine and good until the stake rep finished with about 14 minutes before the end of church and the bishop decided to open the floor to discuss "some of the moral issues that should concern us in this upcoming election."

                              1. Only by the grace of God were there only about 10 minutes left once the bishop finished. 2. Not sure how many people mentioned homosexuality in one context or another but is this really the moral issue of our time? I seriously would have been more incouraged had someone brought up pornography.

                              In the end, the thought I was left with was, what good is it to read the church neutrality release every election when in the end, I can't mention that I'm a Democrat in a church setting without seeing the elbow nudges and eye rolls. It would be nice if the political neutrality statement was ingested more than just a legal statement for tax exempt status.
                              Last edited by Dwight Schr-ute; 09-30-2012, 04:43 PM.
                              I told him he was a goddamn Nazi Stormtrooper.

                              Comment

                              • Tim
                                Not Banned
                                • Nov 2008
                                • 4390

                                #2685
                                I saw this on Digg tonight and thought, "I'm sure someone from CUF will post this article in the 'I learned in church today' thread just to attempt to rub it in my face," so I decided to maintain control over the situation and just post it myself. I don't have an opinion on the matter -- it's too late at night for me to care -- but it's topical so I thought I'd add it to the record.

                                http://www.businessweek.com/articles...g-on-airplanes
                                Visca Catalunya Lliure

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