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THE OFFICIAL CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE HOOKERS AT SMU THREAD

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  • #46
    I really hope my cute, little golden-curled daughter doesn't hear the rumors that CRAGI JAMES KILLED FIVE (5) HOOKERS AT SMU (allegedly). What am I going to respond when she looks up at me with tears welling in her big blue eyes and asks "Daddy, why did CRAIG JAMES (allegedly) KILL FIVE (5) HOOKERS AT SMU?"

    The only good coming out of this horrible tragedy is for the other folks at ESPN. It's got to look pretty good on your end-of-year performance review to be able to write UNLIKE CRAIG JAMES, I DID NOT (allegedly) KILL A BARE MINIMUM* OF FIVE (5) HOOKERS AT SMU.

    *The rumors I'm hearing are that CRAIG JAMES MAY HAVE KILLED MORE THAN FIVE (5) HOOKERS AT SMU. We may never know the true number of (alleged) victims.
    I think, perhaps, the only person who hates BYU fans more than ute fans hate BYU fans, is Bronco Mendenhall.
    -smokymountainrain


    Menden Hall Hates Me.

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    • #47
      I have never killed any HOOKERS and I have never met CRAIG JAMES but I understand that there is a rumor that CRAIG JAMES met and KILLED FIVE HOOKERS AT SMU as some sort of PONY EXPRESS INITIATION wherein all of the PONY EXPRESS MEMBERS including CRAIG JAMES KILLED HOOKERS AT SMU and CRAIG JAMES in particular KILLED FIVE (5) HOOKERS AT SMU. At this time, absent any denials from those involved and no testimony from the hookers, I can only assume it is true.

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      • #48
        What's all this I hear about how some guy named CRAIG JAMES maybe KILLED FIVE HOOKERS (what's a hooker?) at SMU (what's an SMU?)?
        I think, perhaps, the only person who hates BYU fans more than ute fans hate BYU fans, is Bronco Mendenhall.
        -smokymountainrain


        Menden Hall Hates Me.

        Comment

        • #49
          I really don't get this.
          "Wuap's "problem" is that he is smart & principled & committed to a moral course of action. His actions are supposed to reflect his ethical code.
          The rest of us rarely bother to think about our actions." --Solon

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          • #50
            Originally posted by wuapinmon View Post
            I really don't get this.
            Nor do I.
            "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill


            "I only know what I hear on the news." - Dear Leader

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            • #51
              Originally posted by wuapinmon View Post
              I really don't get this.
              Welcome to the Interwebs. Where it is rumored that CRAIG JAMES KILLED 5 HOOKERS AT SMU.
              Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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              • #52
                Originally posted by il Padrino Ute View Post
                Nor do I.
                What's there to get? Either you believe the rumors that CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE (5) HOOKERS AT SMU or you don't believe the rumors that WHILE AT SMU FIVE (5) HOOKERS WERE KILLED DEAD BY CRAIG JAMES.
                I think, perhaps, the only person who hates BYU fans more than ute fans hate BYU fans, is Bronco Mendenhall.
                -smokymountainrain


                Menden Hall Hates Me.

                Comment

                • #53
                  If Craig James killed five hookers while at SMU, is it also true that he only showered with them and fooled around with them, but it wasn't really sexual? Or did he only kill five hookers while at SMU? Did Craig James touch the legs of the Five Hookers?

                  The Topper is easily confused.
                  Last edited by Topper; 11-15-2011, 08:41 AM.
                  "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr Epstein."

                  Upon rejecting the Beatles, Dick Rowe told Brian Epstein of the January 1, 1962 audition for Decca, which signed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes instead.

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                  • #54
                    Originally posted by Cougarmandias View Post
                    What's there to get? Either you believe the rumors that CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE (5) HOOKERS AT SMU or you don't believe the rumors that WHILE AT SMU FIVE (5) HOOKERS WERE KILLED DEAD BY CRAIG JAMES.
                    Awesome.
                    "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill


                    "I only know what I hear on the news." - Dear Leader

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                    • #55
                      Originally posted by Topper View Post
                      Did Craig James touch the legs of the Five Hookers?
                      If he did it was only incidental contact.

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                      • #56
                        I just can't understand why CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE(5) HOOKERS AT SMU. Hookers are people, too
                        "The first thing I learned upon becoming a head coach after fifteen years as an assistant was the enormous difference between making a suggestion and making a decision."

                        "They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I'm in a depression."

                        "I like to bike. I could beat Lance Armstrong, only because he couldn't pass me if he was behind me."

                        -Rick Majerus

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                        • #57
                          Originally posted by The Notorious J.I.C. View Post
                          I just can't understand why CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE(5) HOOKERS AT SMU. Hookers are people, too
                          Craig James did consider the hooker's humanity when killing five (5) of them while at SMU. CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE(5) HOOKERS at SMU because he is a zombie that feasts on human flesh. CRAIG JAMES claims that HOOKER flesh is the most tasty flesh of all humans. CRAIG JAMES has quite an appetite thereby requiring the death of FIVE(5) HOOKERS in order to be able to be full while at SMU.
                          Dyslexics are teople poo...

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                          • #58
                            It's been just days since the rumor that CRAIG JAMES KILLED 5 HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU has surfaced and now I'm hearing that the event was WITNESSED BY TODD CHRISTENSEN who reported it to BILL MUSBERGER, who did nothing about it.

                            Shame!

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                            • #59
                              CRAIG JAMES STILL (allegedly) KILLED FIVE (5) HOOKERS AT SMU? The man's insatiable appetite for (alleged) evil is (allegedly) demonic.
                              I think, perhaps, the only person who hates BYU fans more than ute fans hate BYU fans, is Bronco Mendenhall.
                              -smokymountainrain


                              Menden Hall Hates Me.

                              Comment

                              • #60
                                Just saw this at Occupy Herbstreit:



                                This is a very good question. The only plausible answer I can come up with is everyone without a job must have KILLED MORE THAN FIVE HOOKERS. I can't think of any other reason why just about anyone wouldn't be a better candidate for Craig's job.
                                "In conclusion, let me give a shout-out to dirty sex. What a great thing it is" - Northwestcoug
                                "And you people wonder why you've had extermination orders issued against you." - landpoke
                                "Can't . . . let . . . foolish statements . . . by . . . BYU fans . . . go . . . unanswered . . . ." - LA Ute

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