2010 Tour de CUF--Bend, Oregon

[SteelBlue]

Well, my trusty steed is dropping the chain in the middle ring every time I stand or otherwise put some power into it. Dropped by the local mechanic yesterday who informed me that I have $250 in replacements/labor because middle and large ring are worn out, chain will need replacing and rear cassette will need to be replaced. Soooo, I've had to borrow a bike. She isn't pretty, but she should get me through the ride. It's an old (1995 I think) Fuji with the equivalent of Ultegra.

[Parrot Head]

A couple of other notes, there were Porta-Potties at the side of the road in two or three places late in the ride, which is nice. And we can talk tomorrow about placement of water/food, if necessary courtesy of HFN. But with water and food available at or near Lava Lakes (close to Mile 40), in any case, we may not need HFN provisioning.

These and other weighty matters will be discussed tomorrow evening. You're going to like Bend and the ride.

Why do you need porta-potties?

[PaloAltoCougar]

Why do you need porta-potties?

I've had a difficult time persuading Mrs. PAC to adopt that method of release.

[PaloAltoCougar]

To borrow a favorite line from Monty Python (The Hairdresser's Climb Mt. Everest sketch): "Mt. Bachelor. Forbidding, aloof, terrifying. The mountain with the biggest tits in the world." And tomorrow a bunch of CUFfers are going to rides their bikes around it, climbing 5,000 feet in the process.

So here's the final route that we intend to present for a sustaining vote tonight during the carboloading.

It begins at the front door of our hotel. Despite the self-serving nature of the start (hey, didn't the PACs do this last year?), it's a convenient meeting point, doesn't expose us to the possibly large Riverbend Park crowds on a Saturday afternoon, allows us to store beverages, cold cuts, etc. in our room's refrigerator, and has a nice dining area that isn't in use in the afternoon and which the manager said we're free to use as long as we clean up after ourselves (I've got my eye on Archaea).

At tonight's dinner I'll point out the pit stop locales, at least where I believe them to be.

Archaea's heading out on a quick two-hour sprint on his rental steed, while Mrs. PAC and I will prepare ourselves by taking in a movie.

See you all this evening.

[creekster]

To borrow a favorite line from Monty Python (The Hairdresser's Climb Mt. Everest sketch): "Mt. Bachelor. Forbidding, aloof, terrifying. The mountain with the biggest tits in the world." And tomorrow a bunch of CUFfers are going to rides their bikes around it, climbing 5,000 feet in the process.

So here's the final route that we intend to present for a sustaining vote tonight during the carboloading.

It begins at the front door of our hotel. Despite the self-serving nature of the start (hey, didn't the PACs do this last year?), it's a convenient meeting point, doesn't expose us to the possibly large Riverbend Park crowds on a Saturday afternoon, allows us to store beverages, cold cuts, etc. in our room's refrigerator, and has a nice dining area that isn't in use in the afternoon and which the manager said we're free to use as long as we clean up after ourselves (I've got my eye on Archaea).

At tonight's dinner I'll point out the pit stop locales, at least where I believe them to be.

Archaea's heading out on a quick two-hour sprint on his rental steed, while Mrs. PAC and I will prepare ourselves by taking in a movie.

See you all this evening.

Thanks for the updates. I appreciate reading them. Any luck persuading archaea to sign up in order to collect his trophy?

[mtnbiker]

Thanks for the updates. I appreciate reading them. Any luck persuading archaea to sign up in order to collect his trophy?

No luck with Archaea. Bluegoose took the trophy. We had a great time at dinner. All the past year's worth of board banter all summarized within an hour and a half.

[creekster]

No luck with Archaea. Bluegoose took the trophy. We had a great time at dinner. All the past year's worth of board banter all summarized within an hour and a half.

Any decision on what to do with the second place trophy?

[mtnbiker]

Any decision on what to do with the second place trophy?

Ha ha ha.... if it really exists, I guess you can decide whether to do anything with it. Would have been nice if you could have been here to present it.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

I'm not exactly sure what I've gotten myself into, if I die today I want you to know I love you all.

[OrangeUte]

I'm not exactly sure what I've gotten myself into, if I die today I want you to know I love you all.

i helped steelblue get in tip top shape for this event, he'll pull you through.

[beelzebabette]

I'm sure PAC or one of the others will give a proper report, but I just wanted to report that not only did HFN survive but he's an awesome Tour de CUF host. Oh, and sassinator gets the lantern rouge this year.

[PaloAltoCougar]

Compared with a CUF group ride, all other forms of human endeavor shrink to insignificance. General George Patton said that.

Today eleven Cuffers rode 90 miles (give or take), climbed over 5,000 feet, and had a superb time, thankfully with no accidents, flats or wardrobe malfunctions (although one could argue that Spandex on a 58-year old body is inherently such). I was waiting for creekster’s write-up of today’s stage, but I guess I better weigh in, giving the lie to the maxim that history is written by the winners.

Dinner last night was a lot of fun; good food, excellent company and the highly charged awards ceremony at which bluegoose was awarded the Creekster Trophy for his TdF picks. Mtnbker had added some very nice touches, including the deft use of his woodburning kit from Christmas 1968.

The ride today was even better than anticipated. Great weather and a superb route, shared with dozens of teams running a 130-mile relay footrace (Mrs. PAC’s favorite team was Three Guys and Eighteen Tits). With plenty of great views of Mt. Bachelor, the Three Sisters, and several alpine lakes, streams and rivers, the scenery was spectacular. Photos will be posted later, although my favorite may be a portrait taken by a tourist/photographer who, when asked to take a shot of us, insisted on using her high-priced Nikon rather than the more modest cameras being carried by our group. We assumed with gear like that, her work must be first-rate. She just e-mailed me the photo and, except for serious problems with composition, focus, color and light, she did a great job.

Big Piney, bluegoose and Archaea dominated the front of the pack, updating their journals, napping and knitting some lovely afghans while waiting at pre-determined rest stops for the rest of the rabble to catch up. I’m not sure who took home the polka dot, green and yellow jerseys, but I know Archaea did not go home empty-handed. Actually, given that he has to get to the airport Monday without a car, I’m not sure he’ll go home at all. Watching all three of their backsides fade in the distance will be a cherished memory into my dotage.

The white jersey for best young rider goes to HuskyFreeNorthwest who shunned our Y Jersey dress code in favor of a fine bright yellow Oregon t-shirt, complementing the board’s finest beard magnificently. Chatting it up with him while cruising along at 18 mph was enough to make me forget the lamentable Haloti Ngata incident. HFN was also a superb host, providing lodging to some, and having his crack team of employees drop food and ice chests heavy laden with ice cold water and Gatorade at Mile 60 just before the start of the final ten-mile Climb From Hell.

Bellavella and Mrs. PAC tied, yet again, for Best Grandmothers on Two Wheels. Seeing those women cranking up long grades and flying down the descents should shame anyone into a major fitness overhaul, or at least some very expensive liposuction.

Beelzebabette and Sassinator duked it out for the Arthur Anderson Cup, awarded to the finest riding CPA willing to shun work at quarter’s end in favor of riding with a bunch of internet buddies. They were a lot of fun at last night’s dinner as FASB Statement 157 was discussed until blood could be seen leaking from HFN’s ears.

Steel Blue could have gone with a carbon fiber frame like the rest of us, but true to his moniker, opted for a 1977 loaner constructed with enough steel to fill in the corners at LES. When that wasn’t enough to slow him down, he screwed up his pedal so that it wouldn’t release, reminding one of the end of Breaking Away when they taped the guy’s feet to the pedals. SB claims not to have ridden much in the past year. I claim to be secretly admired by Catherine Zeta-Jones.

As if the ride weren’t enough, Mrs. PAC arranged for a post-ride spread of cold cuts, breads, fruits, home-baked chocolate cookies, ice cold beverages and other goodies for everyone in the hotel dining area that was set aside for our exclusive use. The maintenance people say the heady scent of post-ride B.O. should be gone by October.

Basking in the afterglow of a great ride, not to mention fatigue-induced loss of judgment, we’re all on board for next year’s TdC, most likely the weekend of August 5 at a place to be named later, with Yellowstone Park the early front runner. People should start planning now. Patton was right.

[mtnbiker]

Pretty nice report, PAC, imaginative as always. Sixty of those ninety miles were particularly fantastic - blasting downhill at speeds up to about 47 mph. Counterpointed, of course, by the 30 miles of unrelenting uphill, in big sections of 20 and 10 miles. Not impossibly steep, but a lot of uphill grinding.

There actually was a wardrobe malfunction, if you consider one of Steel Blue's cleat screws falling out, and the other so loose that he couldn't clip out. A little poetic license?

I guess my effort must have been pretty non-descript, if all the mention I get is about my mad skills with the woodburning set. On the other hand, I don't need to open myself up for more potential ridicule by the board sage.

i helped steelblue get in tip top shape for this event, he'll pull you through.

You don't know how accurate your prediction was. With his precarious cleat situation, SB and HFN took an alternate route home, which eliminated about 1500 ft of climbing and had them home (taunting us with tales of brand new asphalt and no traffic) well before the rest of us.

Oh, and Bellavela accidentally smashed her cell phone in the car door. Try it sometime.

For the 2nd year in a row, the Tour de CUF was entirely composed of Y fans. Maybe we should rename it the Tour de CF. Don't any of you U fans know how to ride a bike?

[PaloAltoCougar]

I guess my effort must have been pretty non-descript, if all the mention I get is about my mad skills with the woodburning set. On the other hand, I don't need to open myself up for more potential ridicule by the board sage.

A mental lapse on my part, perhaps due to subconscious bitterness over losing, again, the Gray Jersey (sponsored by AARP!) to the best cyclist over 50 not named Archaea.

Here's a picture of the group at the start of the ride...


And here's a shot of Team Cougar near the top of Mt. Bachelor.

[landpoke]

And here's a shot of Team Cougar near the top of Mt. Bachelor.

Team Cougar Climbs Mt Bachelor sounds like the title to a Russ Meyer film.