Latest Stats and Facts on Punography

[wuapinmon]

You're sort of proving santos' point here. Are you saying that this couple should NEVER have had dinner with you because it's that dinner that led to their divorce?

My thoughts too.

[jay santos]

Jay, have you no compassion for people and their insecurities? Or are you just a souless numbers junkie?

I remember an occassion where friends were visiting. We have lived a rather charmed life and, through no exceptional effort on my part, have had many opportunities to travel and experience the world. This couple has, on the other hand, had a much different, more mundane exisitence highlighted by much financial insecurity. During dinner one evening the wife of this couple talked of how interesting our life had been, complimenting me on career choice and openly lamenting that her husband had only some very minimal achievements, if any, upon which to look back. Needless to say, this was very uncomfortable and I felt for my friend.

I really don't know what happened later on when they retired for the evening, but I regret that you were not there to point out to him how invalid his concerns were had he taken exception to being compared to another man in such a way.

They have since divorced.

Soulless numbers junkie. Or at least I play one on the internet.

Like ER said, the problem here is not your friend's wife saw your charmed life. Or even that she aspired for it, I don't think. We live in a competitive world of scarcity and inequality, there's always someone better looking, richer, more athletic, higher up in church leadership, better bedroom skillz, whatever metric you use.

What do we do when we observe these? Do we covet? Do we feel depressed and inadequate? Do we put undue pressures on our spouse? Do we strive to improve ourselves? Do we accept it as part of the challenge of this life and learn to love ourselves and spouses unconditionally (probably hardest and probably most important). Do we get bitter towards our spouse or society or God for not getting a fair shake?

It's a serious issue and one that's deeper than just "he's got a porn problem".

[wuapinmon]

Wait you guys! Don't leave until this thread has surpassed the Lakers thread in views and posts. We're nearly a third of the way there, and it has only been four days. I've got a CUFie riding on this!

Maybe this will help keep it chugging.......so.....Robin.....since you've gone on record repeated times at willing to defend any artist's work as part of a creative effort (not defending its quality, but its existence as a creative product), what are your thoughts about the quality (not existence) of this work (The Girlfriend Experience) by Stephen Soderbergh? Since it stars some pornstress 'named' Sasha Gray who normally takes money for having sex 'legally' playing the role of someone who has sex for money 'illegally' does it cross a line......does it help the 70's dream of taking porn mainstream.....is it going to be in your Netflix queue? Is this just really high-quality porn because Soderbergh has lots of money?

Just asking because I just read a review of the film and it reminded me of this thread.



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[wuapinmon]

You, more than anyone, should know how I react when anyone mounts a high horse.

Shoot low, Babs....we're riding Shetland Ponies.*










*Thanks to Lewis Grizzard

[marsupial]

You're sort of proving santos' point here. Are you saying that this couple should NEVER have had dinner with you because it's that dinner that led to their divorce?

I see what you're saying and what jay is saying. However, if a wife knows that carrying on about some other man's charmed life would make her husband feel insignificant, why would she do it? It wasn't the eating dinner at their house that made him feel bad. It was his wife making a big to do about it.

Likewise, if a husband knows that his porn consumption makes his wife feel insecure in the bedroom, why would he do it anyway?

It's these passive acts of hostility that slowly tear down a marriage.

[jay santos]

[QUOTE=wuapinmon;92716]Maybe this will help keep it chugging.......so.....Robin.....since you've gone on record repeated times at willing to defend any artist's work as part of a creative effort (not defending its quality, but its existence as a creative product), what are your thoughts about the quality (not existence) of this work (The Girlfriend Experience) by Stephen Soderbergh? Since it stars some pornstress 'named' Sasha Gray who normally takes money for having sex 'legally' playing the role of someone who has sex for money 'illegally' does it cross a line......does it help the 70's dream of taking porn mainstream.....is it going to be in your Netflix queue? Is this just really high-quality porn because Soderbergh has lots of money?

Just asking because I just read a review of the film and it reminded me of this thread.

This seems like an easy film to defend. There have been much more edgier films made. This looks like a decent movie.

[ERCougar]

I see what you're saying and what jay is saying. However, if a wife knows that carrying on about some other man's charmed life would make her husband feel insignificant, why would she do it? It wasn't the eating dinner at their house that made him feel bad. It was his wife making a big to do about it.

Likewise, if a husband knows that his porn consumption makes his wife feel insecure in the bedroom, why would he do it anyway?

It's these passive acts of hostility that slowly tear down a marriage.

Don't get me wrong, Soup. I (and I assume, santos) think there are all sorts of problems with pornography use, particularly when it's secretive or not fully consented by both parties. I also think there are problems with the analogy to GC and such, but that it's a funny argument that I don't think many of those who are pushing the "unrealistic expectations" argument would be prepared for.

In short--I'm not sure that porn itself is inherently evil, but like most things in life, it can have awful consequences in many settings. If both spouses are into it (together), I'm not going to step in and tell them what they can and can't do. Isn't the church's position to stay out of the bedroom?

[myboynoah]

In short--I'm not sure that porn itself is inherently evil, but like most things in life, it can have awful consequences in many settings. If both spouses are into it (together), I'm not going to step in and tell them what they can and can't do. Isn't the church's position to stay out of the bedroom?

Are you serious? You act as if impacts are limited just to two consenting adults acting in one moment in time. You don't see connections beyond something that takes place in their bedroom?

Given your church's view on the sanctity of sexual intimacy and its connection to the power or procreation, I find it odd that you would say there is nothing inherently evil with porn.

[myboynoah]

I see what you're saying and what jay is saying. However, if a wife knows that carrying on about some other man's charmed life would make her husband feel insignificant, why would she do it? It wasn't the eating dinner at their house that made him feel bad. It was his wife making a big to do about it.

Likewise, if a husband knows that his porn consumption makes his wife feel insecure in the bedroom, why would he do it anyway?

It's these passive acts of hostility that slowly tear down a marriage.

Thank you Marcy. This propensity to tell people that their offense at certain behavior is invalid astounds me. I'm done with trying to help these ludites explore their more sensitive sides.

[SeattleUte]

Maybe the husband should have hauled ass and taken the foreign service exam or something rather than feeling inadequate. Just a thought. We humans are not all that different from those communities of gorillas when you get right down to it. In any event, I hope he made the most of his new found freedom. If marriage is toxic and suffocating it need not be the be all and end all, probably shouldn't be. I'm generalizing of course. But in this instance it sounds like maybe divorce was the best thing for them.

[wuapinmon]

I'm done with trying to help these [sic]ludites explore their more sensitive sides.

I don't think that means what you think it means.

[marsupial]

In short--I'm not sure that porn itself is inherently evil, but like most things in life, it can have awful consequences in many settings. If both spouses are into it (together), I'm not going to step in and tell them what they can and can't do. Isn't the church's position to stay out of the bedroom?

I'll admit that it could probably be fun for a couple to enjoy porn together. However, I have to agree with MBN. It basically comes down to paying people to perform sex acts for your own gratification and I can't reconile that with my religious beliefs.

There are other things a couple can do that would offer a similar experience --mirrors, home videos, etc--without having to support what I believe is an evil industry.

[marsupial]

So how are we doing Donuthole? Are we gaining on the Lakers thread yet?

[SeattleUte]

I don't think that means what you think it means.

Probably noah is more the luddite, at least on this subject.

[wuapinmon]

Probably noah is more the luddite, at least on this subject.

In spite of your advanced years, you seem to be anything but a Luddite.