Passive Aggressive Mormons

[Indy Coug]

blessing in disguise. You can then clean as well or as poorly as you determine.

We didn't mop the bathroom floors. We didn't clean the chalkboards. We didn't vacuum the chapel. We only spot vacuumed the classrooms. We cooked a 5 course meal in the kitchen.

[pellegrino]

Sure. That's just what she told you, amigo. Maybe that YW activity was a better option than that Olive Garden Bottomless Salad you had planned.

I think the calling-sustaining thing could actually be a productive exercise if the leaders provided more than 5-10 seconds to think it over before requiring a "vote."
There are examples of the congregation voting "no" in the early days of the church.

This is actually a really good idea. They could present the person being called one week as a sort of nomination, and then the next week they could actually vote.

The only problem is that I don't think things would change much. It is too ingrained into Mormons' minds that every calling is the mind and will of the Lord and that presenting it to the congregation isn't about getting approval from the body of the church, it's about giving the congregation the opportunity to submit to the Lord's will.

[Pheidippides]

A thread dedicated to LAUte!

[grapevine]

There are many people that don't show to clean chapel were I am at Dirty when you walk in. If people clean up after activity not too bad. HPGL said need 6 people at DI on Saturday. Should get them. One probably won't be me. I can probably count number of people I helped move excluding me on one hand since I was member of Florida Tampa Bay Buccaner moving company. EQ Horse trailer pickup moving company haven't had much experience with it.

Did get communications degree associates and conflict is difference of opinion contention is being a jerk about it. I heard one guy say he wanted to vote no in church but didn't want to offend brother so didn't. Never seen dissenting vote myself. pretty quick sustainings. Do have trouble with people standing up and not showing up to callings sometimes.

[Harry Tic]

I wonder how often dissenting votes are cast. I remember seeing one on the mission field--a couple of feuding families were involved. But when was the last time anyone saw it happen in a home ward?

[wuapinmon]

I wonder how often dissenting votes are cast. I remember seeing one on the mission field--a couple of feuding families were involved. But when was the last time anyone saw it happen in a home ward?

If I hadn't been a coward, I would've voted no when my dad was called to the bishopric in stake conference. He wasn't worthy, at all, at the time, though he did right himself once called.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I think we might be focusing too much on the voting issue mentioned in the OP. I don't think that it is the main point of the guy's argument. Voting is just one manifestation of how we don't openly display disagreement in the church.

[CardiacCoug]

I think we might be focusing too much on the voting issue mentioned in the OP. I don't think that it is the main point of the guy's argument. Voting is just one manifestation of how we don't openly display disagreement in the church.

I agree that we don't show open disagreement very often in church. Then again, what's the point? As far as callings go, it seems pretty mean to protest a volunteer effort. As far as doctrine, the basic official stuff is pretty set in stone -- I don't have a problem voicing mild disagreement in the gray areas but it seems pretty stupid and rude to go much further than that in an official church meeting.

But yeah I agree with the author that Mormons tend to be passive-aggressive and things would be better if we weren't so damn nice all the time.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I agree that we don't show open disagreement very often in church. Then again, what's the point? As far as callings go, it seems pretty mean to protest a volunteer effort. As far as doctrine, the basic official stuff is pretty set in stone -- I don't have a problem voicing mild disagreement in the gray areas but it seems pretty stupid and rude to go much further than that in an official church meeting.

But yeah I agree with the author that Mormons tend to be passive-aggressive and things would be better if we weren't so damn nice all the time.

Sure. I agree with wally that I really don't care that much about most of the "votes" that take place. I guess I am talking more about overall ward and stake governance and how we interact with leadership and with one another. I think sometimes we are hypersensitive about confrontation.

I remember when I was YM president I had an assistant who would agree to whatever I asked in our planning meetings but I learned pretty quickly that I couldn't count on him for anything because it was 50/50 at best if he would do what he promised. I would have been much happier had he told me that he just didn't want to do it in the first place. I have also been in quite a few ward planning meetings where people were all smiles and sunshine during the meeting but then grumbled and whined as soon as they walked out the door. We could do a lot better in dealing with confrontation in a healthy way.

[wuapinmon]

Sure. I agree with wally that I really don't care that much about most of the "votes" that take place. I guess I am talking more about overall ward and stake governance and how we interact with leadership and with one another. I think sometimes we are hypersensitive about confrontation.

I remember when I was YM president I had an assistant who would agree to whatever I asked in our planning meetings but I learned pretty quickly that I couldn't count on him for anything because it was 50/50 at best if he would do what he promised. I would have been much happier had he told me that he just didn't want to do it in the first place. I have also been in quite a few ward planning meetings where people were all smiles and sunshine during the meeting but then grumbled and whined as soon as they walked out the door. We could do a lot better in dealing with confrontation in a healthy way.

The social cost of dissension is too high for many people. We also are passive in that we tolerate 'failure' in a calling more than someone daring to contradict inspiration from on high.

[Walter Sobchak]

I have also been in quite a few ward planning meetings where people were all smiles and sunshine during the meeting but then grumbled and whined as soon as they walked out the door.

Yeah, that never happens in the business world.

[CardiacCoug]

Sure. I agree with wally that I really don't care that much about most of the "votes" that take place. I guess I am talking more about overall ward and stake governance and how we interact with leadership and with one another. I think sometimes we are hypersensitive about confrontation.

I remember when I was YM president I had an assistant who would agree to whatever I asked in our planning meetings but I learned pretty quickly that I couldn't count on him for anything because it was 50/50 at best if he would do what he promised. I would have been much happier had he told me that he just didn't want to do it in the first place. I have also been in quite a few ward planning meetings where people were all smiles and sunshine during the meeting but then grumbled and whined as soon as they walked out the door. We could do a lot better in dealing with confrontation in a healthy way.

Yep there is always the "meeting" and then the "after-meeting" but to be fair I think that's pretty common in non-LDS environments too. I've always thought that if you don't speak up when you have a chance in an official meeting that it's poor form to bitch about it afterwards.

Expressing disagreement in Sunday School, for example, is really an art form -- took me a long time to figure out how to do it without everybody and most of all my wife giving me strange looks. A few weeks ago I pointed out that the JST Bible is not in any way shape or form a "translation" and should be renamed "inspired corrections" to the Bible. I got some weird looks so I claimed that I got that idea from the official Church pamphlet Our History.

[Pheidippides]

Yep there is always the "meeting" and then the "after-meeting" but to be fair I think that's pretty common in non-LDS environments too. I've always thought that if you don't speak up when you have a chance in an official meeting that it's poor form to bitch about it afterwards.

Expressing disagreement in Sunday School, for example, is really an art form -- took me a long time to figure out how to do it without everybody and most of all my wife giving me strange looks. A few weeks ago I pointed out that the JST Bible is not in any way shape or form a "translation" and should be renamed "inspired corrections" to the Bible. I got some weird looks so I claimed that I got that idea from the official Church pamphlet Our History.

I am starting to build up a store of quotes from GAs (and specifically apostles) that completely back up my own positions. I have been pulling them out in lessons to bolster particularly controversial points, sort of in the same way that John Taylor Jr. pulled out his daddy's revelation on polygamy, slammed it down on the table, and said something like, "what do you think of THAT?!?".

[Jeff Lebowski]

Yeah, that never happens in the business world.

lol. Exactly!

Yep there is always the "meeting" and then the "after-meeting" but to be fair I think that's pretty common in non-LDS environments too. I've always thought that if you don't speak up when you have a chance in an official meeting that it's poor form to bitch about it afterwards.

Expressing disagreement in Sunday School, for example, is really an art form -- took me a long time to figure out how to do it without everybody and most of all my wife giving me strange looks. A few weeks ago I pointed out that the JST Bible is not in any way shape or form a "translation" and should be renamed "inspired corrections" to the Bible. I got some weird looks so I claimed that I got that idea from the official Church pamphlet Our History.

I am still working on it.

[wuapinmon]

I am starting to build up a store of quotes from GAs (and specifically apostles) that completely back up my own positions. I have been pulling them out in lessons to bolster particularly controversial points, sort of in the same way that John Taylor Jr. pulled out his daddy's revelation on polygamy, slammed it down on the table, and said something like, "what do you think of THAT?!?".

http://www.cougarstadium.com/showthr...Missionary-Pal