Passive Aggressive Mormons

[statman]

I am not typically passive aggressive. I am direct with people, privately, unless they won't respond to reason. At church, people don't like me much because I am usually the lone dissenter. I have publicly asked why it's a priesthood assignment to give rides to the sister missionaries (who have a ******-******* car) if we have to have another woman with us. The response is usually something like, "It's our duty." My response now is "I will not give a ride to the sister missionaries, and I will not find anyone else to fulfill that assignment. If we all said 'no' the mission would give them more miles. I already pay tithing, I'm not padding the mission's bottom line by taking off work x 2 people to drive them to a meeting, wait 2 hours, and then bring them home. This isn't right."

I have said those very words in priesthood meeting. Leaders get aggressive; people get pissed at me, but, you know what? I don't have to do stupid shit because I've learned to say 'no.'

Waup - my son is currently a missionary with a car. A few months ago I asked him if they ever have problems with mileage and he said that they never do. The mission president gives them X miles per month based on past usage of the car in their area + a percentage. Yes, if it looks like they are going to go over, they will first warn someone at the mission office and have to explain extra miles to someone after the fact. But as long as they're not doing stupid things or taking long P-Day excursions to rack up miles, there's no problems.

Yeah it means that at the end of the month they might be riding bikes more than at the beginning of the month, and might not take that drive across town to pick up a pizza on their way home (my son's a diabetic and evening meals are a necessity because his blood sugar tanks at night. We keep him well stocked in Subway, Papa Johns and Dominos gift cards). But if they need more miles to do responsible rational missionary work, they need more miles, and they'll let it be known up the chain of command.

The problem with what the sisters in your area are doing is that by not actually addressing the need for more miles, they're ensuring that they're going to need rides to District Meeting in perpetuity. Someone needs to tell them to strap on a pair and let the MP/APs know that they need more miles for the car. If they're not given more miles, stop going to District Meeting - based on budgetary concerns. Missionaries are not supposed to be a constant burden to members.

[wuapinmon]

Waup - my son is currently a missionary with a car. A few months ago I asked him if they ever have problems with mileage and he said that they never do. The mission president gives them X miles per month based on past usage of the car in their area + a percentage. Yes, if it looks like they are going to go over, they will first warn someone at the mission office and have to explain extra miles to someone after the fact. But as long as they're not doing stupid things or taking long P-Day excursions to rack up miles, there's no problems.

Yeah it means that at the end of the month they might be riding bikes more than at the beginning of the month, and might not take that drive across town to pick up a pizza on their way home (my son's a diabetic and evening meals are a necessity because his blood sugar tanks at night. We keep him well stocked in Subway, Papa Johns and Dominos gift cards). But if they need more miles to do responsible rational missionary work, they need more miles, and they'll let it be known up the chain of command.

The problem with what the sisters in your area are doing is that by not actually addressing the need for more miles, they're ensuring that they're going to need rides to District Meeting in perpetuity. Someone needs to tell them to strap on a pair and let the MP/APs know that they need more miles for the car. If they're not given more miles, stop going to District Meeting - based on budgetary concerns. Missionaries are not supposed to be a constant burden to members.

Amen, sir. Amen. It's like when the former YMP was really wealthy and just paid for program expenses out of pocket. The new one is poor and can't afford to do that, and the former YMP doesn't realize that not using the budget and asking for more wound up weakening the program once he was gone.

Every time someone gives them a ride, we're just enabling the burden, creating our own yoke.

[Clark Addison]

I think I am going to be a PAM (Passive Aggressive Mormon) tonight. A couple of weeks ago, our HPGL sent out an email with home teaching changes. One family we have been visiting was no longer on our list. Let's call them the Jimsons. So, a couple of days ago, my companion texts me:

"I talked to Br. Jimson and Thursday at 7:30 works for them. Are you available then?"

I replied:

"I am available, but HPGL emailed us, and I believe we no longer home teach them."

He then replied:

"If not, I guess this can be our farewell visit."

I like the Jimsons, who I have known for 10 years, but I don't like them enough to sit in their house and listen to 45 minutes of my companion's scintillating dentist stories if I don't even get to check a box for it (has anyone met a non-boring dentist? I am sure all CS dentists are the exception, but I have yet to meet one in real life).

I am to cowardly to reply to his text with "Screw that!", though, so I will probably make up an excuse about being stuck at work (which is actually where I will be) and ask him to take it by himself.

I apologize to Mormons everywhere and to Roger Reid for living down to the stereotype.

[Green Monstah]

I think I am going to be a PAM (Passive Aggressive Mormon) tonight. A couple of weeks ago, our HPGL sent out an email with home teaching changes. One family we have been visiting was no longer on our list. Let's call them the Jimsons. So, a couple of days ago, my companion texts me:

"I talked to Br. Jimson and Thursday at 7:30 works for them. Are you available then?"

I replied:

"I am available, but HPGL emailed us, and I believe we no longer home teach them."

He then replied:

"If not, I guess this can be our farewell visit."

I like the Jimsons, who I have known for 10 years, but I don't like them enough to sit in their house and listen to 45 minutes of my companion's scintillating dentist stories if I don't even get to check a box for it (has anyone met a non-boring dentist? I am sure all CS dentists are the exception, but I have yet to meet one in real life).

I am to cowardly to reply to his text with "Screw that!", though, so I will probably make up an excuse about being stuck at work (which is actually where I will be) and ask him to take it by himself.

I apologize to Mormons everywhere and to Roger Reid for living down to the stereotype.

"I have another commitment" should be your response. It's rude for your comp to say, "break your other commitment," and the term is so vague, it can mean almost anything.

[falafel]

Too bad Clark already said he was available during that time. Whoops!

[Moliere]

(has anyone met a non-boring dentist? I am sure all CS dentists are the exception, but I have yet to meet one in real life).

Yes, I have. I'd totally go home teaching twice a month with my dentist.

[imanihonjin]

Yes, I have. I'd totally go home teaching twice a month with my dentist.

You mean visiting teaching, right? Also, I am not sure your wife would approve.