Passive Aggressive Mormons

[Jeff Lebowski]

Are LDS more likely to be passive aggressive? This guy makes some good points for that case:

http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/artic...e-mormons.html

Does the practice of public sustaining votes in the LDS Church create a passive-aggressive culture?
Where on Earth do you have to stand up and justify your dissenting vote to the people who held the vote? What countries or places do you have supposed votes where the proposition is always passed with 99.99 percent of the vote? Totalitarian regimes, where the message is very clear—you obey, you submit. If you live in this culture that has this confusion between conflict and contention, and you’re told over and over again that you have no right to question, you just have to bow your head and vote yes. What kind of response does that condition in the members of the culture when it comes to dealing with conflict? You don’t stand up and challenge; you just drop your pen so you don’t have to vote and go along with it. Or you tell people, “Yeah, I’ll be there on Saturday,” and then you don’t go.

[wally]

Are LDS more likely to be passive aggressive? This guy makes some good points for that case:

http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/artic...e-mormons.html

Interesting point, but I have never voted for anything in church that I actually give a shit about.

[byu71]

Are LDS more likely to be passive aggressive? This guy makes some good points for that case:

http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/artic...e-mormons.html

We also grow up in a culture where we are right and everyone else is wrong. I don't think that leads to being passive. However, I may not understand the term passive-aggressive.

[clackamascoug]

As my wife was being sustained yesterday, I wanted to vote opposed. I thought I could hold out with a non vote, but I ended up voting affirmative, as not to make a scene. I think the passive aggressive notion has merit.

[Jeff Lebowski]

We also grow up in a culture where we are right and everyone else is wrong. I don't think that leads to being passive. However, I may not understand the term passive-aggressive.

Passive aggressive means that you avoid open and direct confrontation with your peers (especially superiors) but you express your frustration and disagreement through indirect methods. I think the guy being interviewed is probably right. We are taught to obey priesthood authority and that contention is of the devil and that we should avoid evil speaking of the Lord's anointed. So if we have a disagreement with a new plan or initiative being pushed by the bishop or EQ president, rather than openly expressing that disagreement and explaining why, we are going to quietly nod our heads and then completely ignore it. Or suppose we don't like how a teacher is teaching lessons. We are more likely to complain to the bishop hoping that the person gets released rather than chat directly with the person to express our concerns (I see this one all the time).

[byu71]

Passive aggressive means that you avoid open and direct confrontation with your peers (especially superiors) but you express your frustration and disagreement through indirect methods. I think the guy being interviewed is probably right. We are taught to obey priesthood authority and that contention is of the devil and that we should avoid evil speaking of the Lord's anointed. So if we have a disagreement with a new plan or initiative being pushed by the bishop or EQ president, rather than openly expressing that disagreement and explaining why, we are going to quietly nod our heads and then completely ignore it. Or suppose we don't like how a teacher is teaching lessons. We are more likely to complain to the bishop hoping that the person gets released rather than chat directly with the person to express our concerns (I see this one all the time).

That makes it clearer. I was thinking more in terms that since we are passive aggressive in our "religious" setting, that "we" are likely to be passive-aggresive in general. I don't think that is the case.

My Dad comes to mind. My gosh was he obedient to whatever church leadership said and yes he did have disagreements, mainly with the "black" issue.

However, his colleagues gave him an award that was called the "has the nuts to tell corporate management they're clueless award".

[wuapinmon]

I am not typically passive aggressive. I am direct with people, privately, unless they won't respond to reason. At church, people don't like me much because I am usually the lone dissenter. I have publicly asked why it's a priesthood assignment to give rides to the sister missionaries (who have a ******-******* car) if we have to have another woman with us. The response is usually something like, "It's our duty." My response now is "I will not give a ride to the sister missionaries, and I will not find anyone else to fulfill that assignment. If we all said 'no' the mission would give them more miles. I already pay tithing, I'm not padding the mission's bottom line by taking off work x 2 people to drive them to a meeting, wait 2 hours, and then bring them home. This isn't right."

I have said those very words in priesthood meeting. Leaders get aggressive; people get pissed at me, but, you know what? I don't have to do stupid shit because I've learned to say 'no.'

[Eddie]

I like to think that I am generally not a passive-aggressive person.

But I have to admit that when someone is a complete dork and is pissing me off, I enjoy a little passive-aggressiveness as a means to return the favor.

[Sleeping in EQ]

I am not typically passive aggressive. I am direct with people, privately, unless they won't respond to reason. At church, people don't like me much because I am usually the lone dissenter. I have publicly asked why it's a priesthood assignment to give rides to the sister missionaries (who have a ******-******* car) if we have to have another woman with us. The response is usually something like, "It's our duty." My response now is "I will not give a ride to the sister missionaries, and I will not find anyone else to fulfill that assignment. If we all said 'no' the mission would give them more miles. I already pay tithing, I'm not padding the mission's bottom line by taking off work x 2 people to drive them to a meeting, wait 2 hours, and then bring them home. This isn't right."

I have said those very words in priesthood meeting. Leaders get aggressive; people get pissed at me, but, you know what? I don't have to do stupid shit because I've learned to say 'no.'

I've learned to say "no" too. It's a great way to discover who in your ward actually values you as a thinking individual.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I've learned to say "no" too. It's a great way to discover who in your ward actually values you as a thinking individual.

My wife is learning to say "no" and express her opinions openly at church. It is a glorious thing to behold.

This is the same woman that spent the evening of one of our wedding anniversaries at a YW activity because she didn't have the courage to tell the YW Pres that she couldn't make it.

[Solon]

My wife is learning to say "no" and express her opinions openly at church. It is a glorious thing to behold.

This is the same woman that spent the evening of one of our wedding anniversaries at a YW activity because she didn't have the courage to tell the YW Pres that she couldn't make it.

Sure. That's just what she told you, amigo. Maybe that YW activity was a better option than that Olive Garden Bottomless Salad you had planned.

I think the calling-sustaining thing could actually be a productive exercise if the leaders provided more than 5-10 seconds to think it over before requiring a "vote."
There are examples of the congregation voting "no" in the early days of the church.

[Moliere]

Are LDS more likely to be passive aggressive? This guy makes some good points for that case:

“Yeah, I’ll be there on Saturday,” and then you don’t go.

http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/artic...e-mormons.html

We had 18 people signed up for an assignment. 8 actually showed up. Turns out we only needed 6. I guess the church is very aware that people do this and they have built it into their assignment requests. At least now I know that even if I sign up I don't need to attend since they are likely well overbooked.

[Indy Coug]

We were the only ones to show up to clean last Saturday.

[CJF]

A thread dedicated to LAUte!

[Katy Lied]

blessing in disguise. You can then clean as well or as poorly as you determine.