The Calling of a Bishop

[Goatnapper'96]

Yikes. The handbook is turning into the Mormon Talmud. I see stuff like this happening more and more in our stake.

The handbook and the ultimate debate ender: some obscure quote from a GA that you have never even heard of!

[wuapinmon]

The handbook and the ultimate debate ender: some obscure quote from a GA that you have never even heard of!

Or you get a Heisenberg bishop who says, "because I say so" all icily.

[lambdacoug]

Or you get a Heisenberg bishop who says, "because I say so" all icily.

But he isn't really sure...

[UtahDan]

Yikes. The handbook is turning into the Mormon Talmud. I see stuff like this happening more and more in our stake.

That is a good analogy. Better that than Mormon Doctrine though, right?

[Paperback Writer]

It never ceases to amaze me how one or two or even 4 people can mess everything up. Because of the strict nature of the organization, extreme folks have a lot of clout. This would be true in any organization structured as such. I think it is the personality of these people not necessarily their faithfulness to the principles.

Take the lady and her daughter in this example. The rules were used to placate a spoiled little girl. Boy is she in for a surprise in the real world.

It's definitely personalities clashing mixed with a product of strict versus more casual observance. I'm a having a SoonerCoug day so another story. The teachers/priests wanted to do a video gaming night a few years ago. What they really wanted was a Halo interactive competition. But there was a YM who wasn't allowed to play video games and his parents tried to nix the whole deal and they were actually successful - the activity turned into a board game night. But not before the wheels of organization had started moving - XBoxs were comitted and so was my family room. So we just moved the Halo gaming activity to a Friday night and made it non-church sanctioned. Rather than exclude the YM who wasn't allowed to play video games, we mentioned that a TV would also be comitted to playing soccer/football/basketball. So this YM tells his parents that the only games that would be played are sports video games in order to get their approval. The parents had fond recollections of playing pong (I'm not making this up!) so they thought sports video games would be OK.

They were livid when they found out that Halo was also being played under my roof. I was asked how I could possbily allow mature video games like Halo to be played in my home. I just replied, "My house, my rules". I mentioned that there must have been a misunderstanding about this being a sport only video game party as the sports video games were only meant to be an alternative. And I lied about their son only playing sports video games and being a shining example to the rest of his quorum (he was TQ president). The reality was that he played Halo with the rest of the YM...and it wasn't the first time he had played Halo.

[Jeff Lebowski]

It's definitely personalities clashing mixed with a product of strict versus more casual observance. I'm a having a SoonerCoug day so another story. The teachers/priests wanted to do a video gaming night a few years ago. What they really wanted was a Halo interactive competition. But there was a YM who wasn't allowed to play video games and his parents tried to nix the whole deal and they were actually successful - the activity turned into a board game night. But not before the wheels of organization had started moving - XBoxs were comitted and so was my family room. So we just moved the Halo gaming activity to a Friday night and made it non-church sanctioned. Rather than exclude the YM who wasn't allowed to play video games, we mentioned that a TV would also be comitted to playing soccer/football/basketball. So this YM tells his parents that the only games that would be played are sports video games in order to get their approval. The parents had fond recollections of playing pong (I'm not making this up!) so they thought sports video games would be OK.

They were livid when they found out that Halo was also being played under my roof. I was asked how I could possbily allow mature video games like Halo to be played in my home. I just replied, "My house, my rules". I mentioned that there must have been a misunderstanding about this being a sport only video game party as the sports video games were only meant to be an alternative. And I lied about their son only playing sports video games and being a shining example to the rest of his quorum (he was TQ president). The reality was that he played Halo with the rest of the YM...and it wasn't the first time he had played Halo.

When I was YM pres I organized a Guitar Hero contest at our house. It was the only activity I recall where we had 100% attendance (we had ~18 priests). I had an assistant who was a high-level CES employee and I wasn't sure how he would react to it. He came and seemed to genuinely have a great time.

The kid that won the contest (almost perfect score on Jordan - yowza) rarely came. In fact, that is the only activity that I recall him coming to in two years. Surprisingly, he later served a mission.

[Uncle Ted]

Some of that is a direct product of correlation and of some Bishops micromanaging. Nothing like investing the time and energy into planning an activity, keeping leadership informed, having a disgruntled parent complain, and then have the Bishop interpret the handbook in an unexpected manner and nix the whole thing. So the next time around, people will ask the Bishop, "Is this OK? How about that?" They want to make their own decisions but feel like they are not allowed to.

I was serving in YM when the youth had an idea for a lip sync activity. The YM/YW leaders approved the songs. However, one YW didn't get her way and complained to her Mom who then went to the Bishop. He decided to review all the songs and determined that only Primary or Disney type songs should be used. Problem is that this happened after the youth had been practicing their lip snyc skits for three weeks and had to start over a week before the live performance. So the next time around, the Bishop is spending his time reading sheets of lyrics. Each quorum/group submitting three differrent songs in case there are objections. Yeah, a Bishop really needs to spend his time doing that but he created the problem.

One of the problems in my old ward was that too many people had access to the church handbook. So when they didn't agree with a decision made by a leader, they would go to the Bishop citing the handbook. Another example, I got busted by another parent for taking an 11-year son on a Deacon's campout. A Dad had pulled out at the last minute because his wife insisted they go out on a date (they still sent their deacon son on the campout). I got a panicked call from the Scoutmaster asking if I could help out and go camping; otherwise, the campout would have to be canceled. My wife was out town with our daughter and our older kids were at EFY. So I was at home with my 11-year old son and he didn't want to be at home alone. The Scoutmaster said it was OK for me to bring my Boy Scout 11-year old son on the campout with me. We packed and had a good time on the campout. Someone complained to the Bishop that an 11-year was brought on a Deacon's campout in violation of the handbook. The Scoutmaster got in trouble for allowing it and I got talked to as well. I asked what I should have done and was told I should have declined or found a place for my son to spend the night (had I been thinking more clearly I would have brought up his several sermons on the evils of sleepovers).

This story should make SoonerCoug proud. He needs to become active again because he might run out of stories someday. Serving as Scoutmaster would change all that rather quickly.

PBW, you need forget that horse ranch and move out of that stake. My new ward just had a YM and YW overnighter activity (they each had their own cabin). Everyone had lots of fun. I never heard the CHOI or even the guide to safe scouting mentioned once. I was talking to the YMP and they went on a 1200 mile trip this last spring for their HA. Ideas like that wouldn't have even been discussed in my previous stake.

[Moliere]

It's definitely personalities clashing mixed with a product of strict versus more casual observance. I'm a having a SoonerCoug day so another story. The teachers/priests wanted to do a video gaming night a few years ago. What they really wanted was a Halo interactive competition. But there was a YM who wasn't allowed to play video games and his parents tried to nix the whole deal and they were actually successful - the activity turned into a board game night. But not before the wheels of organization had started moving - XBoxs were comitted and so was my family room. So we just moved the Halo gaming activity to a Friday night and made it non-church sanctioned. Rather than exclude the YM who wasn't allowed to play video games, we mentioned that a TV would also be comitted to playing soccer/football/basketball. So this YM tells his parents that the only games that would be played are sports video games in order to get their approval. The parents had fond recollections of playing pong (I'm not making this up!) so they thought sports video games would be OK.

They were livid when they found out that Halo was also being played under my roof. I was asked how I could possbily allow mature video games like Halo to be played in my home. I just replied, "My house, my rules". I mentioned that there must have been a misunderstanding about this being a sport only video game party as the sports video games were only meant to be an alternative. And I lied about their son only playing sports video games and being a shining example to the rest of his quorum (he was TQ president). The reality was that he played Halo with the rest of the YM...and it wasn't the first time he had played Halo.

We had a party for a YM that was turning 16 and became a priest. The quorum wanted to wake him up really early (a surprise), "kidnap" him, and take him to the church to play video games. I told the priests to bring the XBox and video games and I'd bring the projector.

So we get to the church around 6:30am and the only games they brought were COD and Guitar Hero. We are playing for a bit and another ward shows up to clean the church. We are in the nursery room as it's the only room that allows food and some old lady sticks her head in and her eyes bug out at the sight of 6 of us playing a shooting game (complete with sound blasting from the speakers). I quickly tell her that we'll clean this room when we leave and she quickly closes the door. Then for the next couple minutes we have a parade of people looking in through the door window (remember these are the mullahs that actually show up on time to clean the building).

I was certain I'd hear about it from someone (bishop, stake YM pres, etc.) but I never heard from anyone. Needless to say, I'm pretty sure my bishop wouldn't have cared.

[Moliere]

PBW, you need forget that horse ranch and move out of that stake. My new ward just had a YM and YW overnighter activity (they each had their own cabin). Everyone had lots of fun. I never heard the CHOI or even the guide to safe scouting mentioned once. I was talking to the YMP and they went on a 1200 mile trip this last spring for their HA. Ideas like that wouldn't have even been discussed in my previous stake.

I hope that's only one way...

[Uncle Ted]

It's definitely personalities clashing mixed with a product of strict versus more casual observance. I'm a having a SoonerCoug day so another story. The teachers/priests wanted to do a video gaming night a few years ago. What they really wanted was a Halo interactive competition. But there was a YM who wasn't allowed to play video games and his parents tried to nix the whole deal and they were actually successful - the activity turned into a board game night. But not before the wheels of organization had started moving - XBoxs were comitted and so was my family room. So we just moved the Halo gaming activity to a Friday night and made it non-church sanctioned. Rather than exclude the YM who wasn't allowed to play video games, we mentioned that a TV would also be comitted to playing soccer/football/basketball. So this YM tells his parents that the only games that would be played are sports video games in order to get their approval. The parents had fond recollections of playing pong (I'm not making this up!) so they thought sports video games would be OK.

They were livid when they found out that Halo was also being played under my roof. I was asked how I could possbily allow mature video games like Halo to be played in my home. I just replied, "My house, my rules". I mentioned that there must have been a misunderstanding about this being a sport only video game party as the sports video games were only meant to be an alternative. And I lied about their son only playing sports video games and being a shining example to the rest of his quorum (he was TQ president). The reality was that he played Halo with the rest of the YM...and it wasn't the first time he had played Halo.

In my previous stake they had some policy about video games for YM activities so we had a night to learn about local area networking. I had everyone that had access to a laptop bring them and set up four computers of my own. I showed them how to make a cat-5 cable and a few of them made their own then we spent the rest of the "testing" the network using Star Craft. I was kicking their butts until they decided to gang up on me. They had so much fun we had to schedule some more "computer networking" activity nights. Like with JL's experience we had boys out that we hadn't seen in some time. Two of those lesser active YM I helped finish up their eagle and now they are telling me they are planning to go on missions.

Edit: There was one YM in my previous stake that the SP made wait six months to go on a mission because he thought the YM was addicted to video games. He told me he was playing video games a couple of hours a day.

[Uncle Ted]

I hope that's only one way...

Yes, 1200 miles one-way.

[Solon]

Yikes. The handbook is turning into the Mormon Talmud. I see stuff like this happening more and more in our stake.

We reap what we sow. (Gal. 6.7)

[Topper]

When I was YM pres I organized a Guitar Hero contest at our house. It was the only activity I recall where we had 100% attendance (we had ~18 priests). I had an assistant who was a high-level CES employee and I wasn't sure how he would react to it. He came and seemed to genuinely have a great time.

The kid that won the contest (almost perfect score on Jordan - yowza) rarely came. In fact, that is the only activity that I recall him coming to in two years. Surprisingly, he later served a mission.

Hearts were mended, tears were shed and conversion followed. As a follow up, the young man served as AP, became a stalwart in the bishopric and has led many in the faithful observance of our faith.

Well done, though good and faithful son.

[Topper]

It's definitely personalities clashing mixed with a product of strict versus more casual observance. I'm a having a SoonerCoug day so another story. The teachers/priests wanted to do a video gaming night a few years ago. What they really wanted was a Halo interactive competition. But there was a YM who wasn't allowed to play video games and his parents tried to nix the whole deal and they were actually successful - the activity turned into a board game night. But not before the wheels of organization had started moving - XBoxs were comitted and so was my family room. So we just moved the Halo gaming activity to a Friday night and made it non-church sanctioned. Rather than exclude the YM who wasn't allowed to play video games, we mentioned that a TV would also be comitted to playing soccer/football/basketball. So this YM tells his parents that the only games that would be played are sports video games in order to get their approval. The parents had fond recollections of playing pong (I'm not making this up!) so they thought sports video games would be OK.

They were livid when they found out that Halo was also being played under my roof. I was asked how I could possbily allow mature video games like Halo to be played in my home. I just replied, "My house, my rules". I mentioned that there must have been a misunderstanding about this being a sport only video game party as the sports video games were only meant to be an alternative. And I lied about their son only playing sports video games and being a shining example to the rest of his quorum (he was TQ president). The reality was that he played Halo with the rest of the YM...and it wasn't the first time he had played Halo.

Part of why being a borderlander is better than being mainstream.

[FMCoug]

It's definitely personalities clashing mixed with a product of strict versus more casual observance. I'm a having a SoonerCoug day so another story. The teachers/priests wanted to do a video gaming night a few years ago. What they really wanted was a Halo interactive competition. But there was a YM who wasn't allowed to play video games and his parents tried to nix the whole deal and they were actually successful - the activity turned into a board game night. But not before the wheels of organization had started moving - XBoxs were comitted and so was my family room. So we just moved the Halo gaming activity to a Friday night and made it non-church sanctioned. Rather than exclude the YM who wasn't allowed to play video games, we mentioned that a TV would also be comitted to playing soccer/football/basketball. So this YM tells his parents that the only games that would be played are sports video games in order to get their approval. The parents had fond recollections of playing pong (I'm not making this up!) so they thought sports video games would be OK.

They were livid when they found out that Halo was also being played under my roof. I was asked how I could possbily allow mature video games like Halo to be played in my home. I just replied, "My house, my rules". I mentioned that there must have been a misunderstanding about this being a sport only video game party as the sports video games were only meant to be an alternative. And I lied about their son only playing sports video games and being a shining example to the rest of his quorum (he was TQ president). The reality was that he played Halo with the rest of the YM...and it wasn't the first time he had played Halo.

This is what parents like that don't get. The kids are going to do this stuff anyway. About a year ago every Laurel in our ward had a boyfriend. But my daughter and one other were the only ones whose parents knew about it. Would you rather your kid have a boyfriend or girlfriend and know about it, or have them sneaking around behind your back.