Share your worst experience in an LDS church

[HauteCoug]

He looked like him, but don't think he was the spitting image.

This was pre-Katie Holmes.

What, a LDS businessman who's an ass in the New Canaan Ward? Say it ain't so!

He loves the sports teams!

[Green Monstah]

This was pre-Katie Holmes.



He loves the sports teams!

I can't imagine how anyone could look at that pic and question Tom's sexuality. Nothing screams "I'm straight!" like a man jumping on Oprah Winfrey's couch in all black, with stage makeup and a $150 haircut.

[Flystripper]

Noah will be ordained a Priest this week. Last week as the prayer was butchered and repeated he looked at me and asked, "They read it, right? You have a card to read, right?" After I answered in the affirmative, he asked sarcastically, "How can you mess that up?"

We shall see.

I'll be he gets it right. I had a perfect record and I even said a few with a hangover. If I can do it, I am sure he can do it!

[Green Monstah]

I'll be he gets it right. I had a perfect record and I even said a few with a hangover. If I can do it, I am sure he can do it!

Nice work. I only got dinged once: "that they may eat it, in remembrance....

[Flystripper]

I'll be he gets it right. I had a perfect record and I even said a few with a hangover. If I can do it, I am sure he can do it!

btw I realize that this post might come across as if I am proud of that accomplishment. Let me assure you that I am. I am proud of the perfect record, and not the hangover part. The hangover was thrown in there as a not-so-interesting sidebar. I should have said, "I even said a few prayers while feeling nauseous and having a raging headache."

[lambdacoug]

btw I realize that this post might come across as if I am proud of that accomplishment. Let me assure you that I am. I am proud of the perfect record and not the hangover part. The hangover was thrown in there as a not-so-interesting sidebar. I should have said, "I even said a few prayers while feeling nauseous and having a raging headache."

But then you are underselling the true impact of hangovers...

[smokymountainrain]

That is maddening. You can't really reel off the "fuck you" you would normally have on deck in a situation like that, which this clueless bitch so richly deserved.

The lady was probably 95.

[Blueintheface]

The lady was probably 95.

Being old is not excuse. I'm encouraging geriatric drivers to self-stimulate all the time.

[smokymountainrain]

Being old is not excuse. I'm encouraging geriatric drivers to self-stimulate all the time.

They shouldn't be on the roads. That said, perhaps they shouldn't be working in the temples either.

[Blueintheface]

Where in Spain was he from?

Valencia but I can't remember which city. Andres Martinez was his name.

[Eddie]

When my wife and I were being interviewed by the Stake President prior to getting married, he spent a lot of time talking about the significance of the sealing ceremony, symbolism, etc.

Then he started talking about garments and symbolism...

Then he started talking about taking the charge to wear garments whenever possible very serious and not look for excuses to take them off...

Then he started talking about how they used to make one piece garments with holes in all the right places so that you could even keep them on during intercourse...

This man had been my neighbor since third grade. No way no how did I need him to say anything that might lead to me imagining he and his wife...

[Jeff Lebowski]

When my wife and I were being interviewed by the Stake President prior to getting married, he spent a lot of time talking about the significance of the sealing ceremony, symbolism, etc.

Then he started talking about garments and symbolism...

Then he started talking about taking the charge to wear garments whenever possible very serious and not look for excuses to take them off...

Then he started talking about how they used to make one piece garments with holes in all the right places so that you could even keep them on during intercourse...

This man had been my neighbor since third grade. No way no how did I need him to say anything that might lead to me imagining he and his wife...

I have heard enough stories like this to make me weep for my parents' generation. Good heavens.

[Flystripper]

When my wife and I were being interviewed by the Stake President prior to getting married, he spent a lot of time talking about the significance of the sealing ceremony, symbolism, etc.

Then he started talking about garments and symbolism...

Then he started talking about taking the charge to wear garments whenever possible very serious and not look for excuses to take them off...

Then he started talking about how they used to make one piece garments with holes in all the right places so that you could even keep them on during intercourse...

This man had been my neighbor since third grade. No way no how did I need him to say anything that might lead to me imagining he and his wife...

hey at least he wasn't having you imagine him naked!

[Dwight Schr-ute]

This story comes second hand, but given the source, I don't doubt it for a second. I used to race bikes with a guy that was on the fringe of the church and gradually making his way out. While he was still fairly active, he was in an interview with the stake president. I'm thinking that it was a temple recommend interview, but I could be mistaken. Regardless, the subject of wearing the garment as often as possible came up and my friend assured the stake president that he did. The stake president got a little animated and said, "How can you sit there and make that assertion when I can clearly see that you're not even wearing them now."

My friend happened to be in this interview wearing a pair of shorts that went above his knees when sitting. Now, being that he was a cyclist and very proud of his smooth and sculpted legs, I think that he tended to use the tactic of buying garments a size smaller than recommended, so they weren't as long. Well, to prove to the stake president was out of line with his accusation, my friend claims that he stood up and promptly removed his shorts in his defense.

I failed to ask how the remainder of the interview went.

As for a personal tale. I remember playing young men's basketball (someone should really start a "Share Your Worst non-basketball, non-scouting Experience in an LDS Church" thread) and our team made it to regionals. We show up to the given church building several stakes over at the given time and place and notice that there's a fair amount of young women hanging around in the lobby. Now this is some fantastic support. The game starts and about 10 minutes into it, some woman comes storming into the gym, claiming to be the stake YW president and they had the church reserved for some event and that we needed to pack up and leave. There were a few words exchanged between the adults running the basketball and this woman and just as quickly as she stormed on, this woman stormed off.

Shortly after half time, this lady's husband comes rushing in to defend her honor and her activity. Essentially, everyone with testicles had to leave. Our coach at the time was a real hot head and didn't take crap from anyone. I'm pretty sure that he was given the calling as a reactivation tool. I don't remember exactly how we got there, but before we knew it, our coach and this stake president were chest to chest and in each others' face letting loose many a sordid word.

In the end, I'm pretty sure that we finished our game. But our assistant coach was the only one around for the final buzzer.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

I have heard enough stories like this to make me weep for my parents' generation. Good heavens.

Was there also a hole large enough for the 9 month delivery from said intercourse.