Overcoming inactivity

[Swimmer]

I am pretty much inactive right now. I usually attend Sacrament meeting, but I have to leave for work every Sunday as soon as it ends, and I have used that as an excuse for not attending SS or PM. In reality though, I doubt very seriously I would go anyway - I simply have no desire to do so and i am secretly glad that i have to work Sundays. I do not home teach because I told the bishop I do not have the time, but to be honest I don't want to find the time because I detest it.

I truly believe I have a testimony of the gospel, but the church does not appear to be a very good representation of the gospel to me anymore. In my opinion it is little more than a place for the beautiful, well-spoken, and wealthy folks to get together to brag about how wonderful they are and show off their new clothes. It's pretty much a fashion show half the time and I HATE IT! I do not expect the church to take care of me at all, but I don't think it's too much to ask to feel like I am accepted just for the fact that I am a Child of God. Maybe I'm asking too much.

My question is this:

How in the Hell do you get motivated to go to church when attending seems to cause more stress in your life?

Go ahead and criticize me...I can take it!

[Solon]

I am pretty much inactive right now. I usually attend Sacrament meeting, but I have to leave for work every Sunday as soon as it ends, and I have used that as an excuse for not attending SS or PM. In reality though, I doubt very seriously I would go anyway - I simply have no desire to do so and i am secretly glad that i have to work Sundays. I do not home teach because I told the bishop I do not have the time, but to be honest I don't want to find the time because I detest it.

I truly believe I have a testimony of the gospel, but the church does not appear to be a very good representation of the gospel to me anymore. In my opinion it is little more than a place for the beautiful, well-spoken, and wealthy folks to get together to brag about how wonderful they are and show off their new clothes. It's pretty much a fashion show half the time and I HATE IT! I do not expect the church to take care of me at all, but I don't think it's too much to ask to feel like I am accepted just for the fact that I am a Child of God. Maybe I'm asking too much.

My question is this:

How in the Hell do you get motivated to go to church when attending seems to cause more stress in your life?

Go ahead and criticize me...I can take it!

Three or four members of my ward bring a book to sacrament meeting. it's usually a church book, or a church biography, or something . . . but it's their way of coping. I have no idea what the 8 or 9 people on their blackberry/ipodthings are doing, but maybe it's something similar.

I know people who only go to church so that they can spend time with their families, even if it's sitting on a pew for an hour a week.

[il Padrino Ute]

I am pretty much inactive right now. I usually attend Sacrament meeting, but I have to leave for work every Sunday as soon as it ends, and I have used that as an excuse for not attending SS or PM. In reality though, I doubt very seriously I would go anyway - I simply have no desire to do so and i am secretly glad that i have to work Sundays. I do not home teach because I told the bishop I do not have the time, but to be honest I don't want to find the time because I detest it.

I truly believe I have a testimony of the gospel, but the church does not appear to be a very good representation of the gospel to me anymore. In my opinion it is little more than a place for the beautiful, well-spoken, and wealthy folks to get together to brag about how wonderful they are and show off their new clothes. It's pretty much a fashion show half the time and I HATE IT! I do not expect the church to take care of me at all, but I don't think it's too much to ask to feel like I am accepted just for the fact that I am a Child of God. Maybe I'm asking too much.

My question is this:

How in the Hell do you get motivated to go to church when attending seems to cause more stress in your life?

Go ahead and criticize me...I can take it!

I think there are a lot of folks like you, in that they struggle to find a reason to be an active member. Some do it in order to maintain a sense of piety; others do it for the benefit of their children - that is, they want their children to have some sort of spiritual stability and going to church can provide that; others do it simply out of routine and would be lost if they broke that routine.

Bottom line is that you should go for yourself. If you're not deriving some sort of benefit from it, perhaps you ought to reconsider attending church.*



*This is why I will never be called into a leadership position. Advising inactivity isn't a good trait in a Bishop. There is a method to my madness.

[Pheidippides]

I am pretty much inactive right now. I usually attend Sacrament meeting, but I have to leave for work every Sunday as soon as it ends, and I have used that as an excuse for not attending SS or PM. In reality though, I doubt very seriously I would go anyway - I simply have no desire to do so and i am secretly glad that i have to work Sundays. I do not home teach because I told the bishop I do not have the time, but to be honest I don't want to find the time because I detest it.

I truly believe I have a testimony of the gospel, but the church does not appear to be a very good representation of the gospel to me anymore. In my opinion it is little more than a place for the beautiful, well-spoken, and wealthy folks to get together to brag about how wonderful they are and show off their new clothes. It's pretty much a fashion show half the time and I HATE IT! I do not expect the church to take care of me at all, but I don't think it's too much to ask to feel like I am accepted just for the fact that I am a Child of God. Maybe I'm asking too much.

My question is this:

How in the Hell do you get motivated to go to church when attending seems to cause more stress in your life?

Go ahead and criticize me...I can take it!

This was me for three years. I know - well, I think I know - how you feel.

I came to the conclusion that I do not go to church for my own self edification. I do not go for what I get out of it. I don't go to show off for myself, my family or others.

I go to worship - I go to show my respect and reverence for a God in whom I believe.

It does, btw, sound like you have a superficial ward. That sucks. My dad has that, and it's hard for him to go too.

[Pheidippides]

*This is why I will never be called into a leadership position. Advising inactivity isn't a good trait in a Bishop. There is a method to my madness.

C.f. the reason that nikuman is careful to let people know about all the Metallica on his iPod. And that he drinks Diet Coke and eats food with rum in it.

[il Padrino Ute]

I go to worship - I go to show my respect and reverence for a God in whom I believe.

Well said and a much more correct reason to go to church - to worship God.

[Indy Coug]

I am pretty much inactive right now. I usually attend Sacrament meeting, but I have to leave for work every Sunday as soon as it ends, and I have used that as an excuse for not attending SS or PM. In reality though, I doubt very seriously I would go anyway - I simply have no desire to do so and i am secretly glad that i have to work Sundays. I do not home teach because I told the bishop I do not have the time, but to be honest I don't want to find the time because I detest it.

I truly believe I have a testimony of the gospel, but the church does not appear to be a very good representation of the gospel to me anymore. In my opinion it is little more than a place for the beautiful, well-spoken, and wealthy folks to get together to brag about how wonderful they are and show off their new clothes. It's pretty much a fashion show half the time and I HATE IT! I do not expect the church to take care of me at all, but I don't think it's too much to ask to feel like I am accepted just for the fact that I am a Child of God. Maybe I'm asking too much.

My question is this:

How in the Hell do you get motivated to go to church when attending seems to cause more stress in your life?

Go ahead and criticize me...I can take it!

I'm not a believer that other people can really motivate you; motivation comes from within, not from the 5 minute afterglow of a rousing rah-rah lockerroom speech.

I think you have to mull over what the Gospel of Jesus Christ is really all about and how does the imperfect vehicle of His church on earth fit into that purpose. Next, you need to contemplate about the convenants you've made, assess whether or not you're honestly keeping those covenants and if you're not, what you need to do differently. Now if you honestly feel like you could and should do more, but just don't care enough to actually do it, the only thing I can recommend is the trite but nonetheless effective recipe of reading, prayer and fasting.

[Tex]

I go to worship - I go to show my respect and reverence for a God in whom I believe.

I absolutely agree. A good secondary reason for going to church, doing home teaching, etc., is for the opportunities to serve others.

Going to church solely or primarily to "get something" out of the experience is a lower rung on the ladder of spiritual maturity, in my opinion.

[Swimmer]

I go to worship - I go to show my respect and reverence for a God in whom I believe.

Obviously, that is the main reason we should attend, but it sure is hard when the worship service is regularly usurped by the superficial worldly things that are so prevalent. How in the Hell does anyone feel like they are able to worship appropriately when the entire meeting is a fashion show, talent show, and brag session?

[byu71]

I am pretty much inactive right now. I usually attend Sacrament meeting, but I have to leave for work every Sunday as soon as it ends, and I have used that as an excuse for not attending SS or PM. In reality though, I doubt very seriously I would go anyway - I simply have no desire to do so and i am secretly glad that i have to work Sundays. I do not home teach because I told the bishop I do not have the time, but to be honest I don't want to find the time because I detest it.

I truly believe I have a testimony of the gospel, but the church does not appear to be a very good representation of the gospel to me anymore. In my opinion it is little more than a place for the beautiful, well-spoken, and wealthy folks to get together to brag about how wonderful they are and show off their new clothes. It's pretty much a fashion show half the time and I HATE IT! I do not expect the church to take care of me at all, but I don't think it's too much to ask to feel like I am accepted just for the fact that I am a Child of God. Maybe I'm asking too much.

My question is this:

How in the Hell do you get motivated to go to church when attending seems to cause more stress in your life?

Go ahead and criticize me...I can take it!

Good luck. I really believe for a young father the church has unlimited benefits. As long as you don't get caught up with the "orthodox" folks, which are really few and far between, the church is a great support for the family.

Right now I stay active as much as I can to set a good example for my kids. However, I like you don't attend Priesthood or Sunday School anymore.

Luckily, I am in a great ward. I don't see much upsmanship at all.

[Indy Coug]

Obviously, that is the main reason we should attend, but it sure is hard when the worship service is regularly usurped by the superficial worldly things that are so prevalent. How in the Hell does anyone feel like they are able to worship appropriately when the entire meeting is a fashion show, talent show, and brag session?

Either your ward is unusually bad or you are oversensitive. I've attended dozens of wards and branches in many states and several countries and I have never been in a place where I felt that accurately characterized the worship services. Certainly there were rare exceptions (usually with the talent show end of things), but I can live with that when it's less than 5% of the time.

[Swimmer]

I absolutely agree. A good secondary reason for going to church, doing home teaching, etc., is for the opportunities to serve others.

Going to church solely or primarily to "get something" out of the experience is a lower rung on the ladder of spiritual maturity, in my opinion.

I actually agree with what you wrote here. If I conveyed that my reason for attending church is to "get something" out of it, then I'm sorry as that was never my intent. My point was that going to church causes me to have negative feelings towards other people and their actions. Is that judgemental? Absolutely, but I am an imperfect sinner who doesn't enjoy feeling like an outcast. I don't need to be worshipped, or even acknowledged, but I sure don't need to hear whispers about the fact that I am wearing a pair of colored jeans or a blue shirt.

As for the serving others comment, I believe I definitely do my fair share of service to others. I do my damndest to help my neighbors in anyway that I can and spend alot of time helping those in need. I just don't see how being coerced into visiting families in the ward who pretty much don't want you there anyway is a sign of Christian service.

[Pheidippides]

Obviously, that is the main reason we should attend, but it sure is hard when the worship service is regularly usurped by the superficial worldly things that are so prevalent. How in the Hell does anyone feel like they are able to worship appropriately when the entire meeting is a fashion show, talent show, and brag session?

That's the real trick, to be honest, and it's not easy. It's very easy for me to go now because I have responsibilities that require me to be there. But I would be lying if I said I had just turned on a switch and everything was all better.

I will admit freely that my iPhone and the scriptures thereon serve me very well during meetings that are less than stellar (open-mike Sunday jumps to mind, although this last one was very good).

I will tell you that there was a specific moment of crisis in my life when I was blessed beyond my measure, and in that time of need it was made clear to me (by the spirit - not by any person) that I received the blessings because I had slogged through my difficult time. Over time, I learned to focus my attention inward, which was the biggest help of all. Every ward has ridiculous things (mine included, and I love my ward), but I don't really notice anymore.

I would also suggest that you talk to your bishop if you feel comfortable with him. If he's anything like mine, he'll be glad to help, and at the very least you'll have identified a problem for him that he may not have previously noticed.

[TripletDaddy]

Swimmer, a few thoughts:

1. I don't doubt that you have a testimony of the Gospel. If you didn't, you wouldn't care nor would you be wrestling with these issues right now.
2. Have you considered attending a different ward for a bit? If you are not clicking with the current crop, why not get a fresh start at a neighboring chapel? Start from scratch and see where it goes. If you find the same issues popping up everywhere you go, then perhaps some of it may be your perception as opposed to the reality that most people in the Church are jerks, so to speak. The only reason I bring that up is because it is good for all us of to recalibrate the lenses every now and then.
3. Try getting involved in the ward. The more you get involved, the easier it may be to develop a bond with the people. If home teaching isnt your thing right now, no worries. The Church will survive. What about keeping it social....go to the ward social, volunteer to chaperone the youth dance, ask if you can help out with the YM/YW mutual activities or Scouts, stuff like that.

Start with small goals and work from there.

[Swimmer]

Either your ward is unusually bad or you are oversensitive. I've attended dozens of wards and branches in many states and several countries and I have never been in a place where I felt that accurately characterized the worship services. Certainly there were rare exceptions (usually with the talent show end of things), but I can live with that when it's less than 5% of the time.

Oh believe me, I am definitely oversensitive, and I realize that better than anyone. We all have our crosses to bear, and this is one that I have dealt with for a LONG time. I've always been that way. I have worked hard to overcome it, and have been unsuccessful although I have improved. I just think I should be able to attend meetings and feel close to the spirit instead of feeling like I need a valium just to make it through one more testimony.

I think my ward is very representative of most wards and I actually like most of the people there. I just happen to think that if a person feels uncomfortable at church, it does not necessarily mean that they are ultra sensitive or a first class sinner. Sometimes what occurs in church meetings may actually be part of the problem.