mormonstories.org

[jay santos]

I'm sure he is a wonderful person...I wasn't questioning that. I just thought that the opening paragraph of the story was a bit of a stretch. I understand why it was phrased that way, but still.

Do you think it's a stretch because you know the person, and it's not true? Or are you generally skeptical that could be true of anyone?

I think that situation is probably pretty common.

[DrumNFeather]

Do you think it's a stretch because you know the person, and it's not true? Or are you generally skeptical that could be true of anyone?

I think that situation is probably pretty common.

I do not believe that it is fair to state that it is the church's fault/responsibility that you have 6 kids and a stay at home mother. People make that decision every day both mormon and non-mormon alike. I understand that it speaks to his desperation and subsequent relief from online LDSish communities, but to me, it's a bit sensational and unnecessary.

[jay santos]

I do not believe that it is fair to state that it is the church's fault/responsibility that you have 6 kids and a stay at home mother. People make that decision every day both mormon and non-mormon alike. I understand that it speaks to his desperation and subsequent relief from online LDSish communities, but to me, it's a bit sensational and unnecessary.

You think it's unreasonable to think that had that person and and his wife not been raised Mormon that they would not have six kids and wife be SAHM?

[DrumNFeather]

You think it's unreasonable to think that had that person and and his wife not been raised Mormon that they would not have six kids and wife be SAHM?

I think it is an odd dot to connect, yes.

[Sullyute]

You think it's unreasonable to think that had that person and and his wife not been raised Mormon that they would not have six kids and wife be SAHM?

If he was raised catholic I could see it turning out the same.

[smokymountainrain]

You think it's unreasonable to think that had that person and and his wife not been raised Mormon that they would not have six kids and wife be SAHM?

FWIW, I agree with DnF and think you're taking a bit of a leap going this direction. I think it's perfectly reasonable that being raised mormon could have some influence on the wife staying at home and their having a bunch of kids. But there are too many non-mormon families with 6+ kids and/or a spouse who stays home to blame the fact that they did it entirely on Mormonism.

[jay santos]

I think it is an odd dot to connect, yes.

Wow, because I think it's a solid line.

Mormonism asks a lot of its members. Some people take it more seriously than others. My wife and I took it very seriously. For us, SAHM, large family, etc was not an option. It was something you do if you're a believing, consecrated Mormon.

Considering that large families with SAHM moms are pretty rare in this day and age, outside of highly religious people, I would say it's an easy dot to connect.

It also seems pretty natural that once you stop believing, that you stop and reflect on all the decisions and sacrifices you made because of your beliefs in Mormonism, and maybe some of them you regret.

[smokymountainrain]

Considering that large families with SAHM moms are pretty rare in this day and age, outside of highly religious people, I would say it's an easy dot to connect.

I disagree. If the dad makes a good living, I don't think it's rare at all for a mom with several children to stay at home while the kids are young, religious or not. In fact, I'd say it's common for moms to stay at home in such a family.

[DrumNFeather]

Wow, because I think it's a solid line.

Mormonism asks a lot of its members. Some people take it more seriously than others. My wife and I took it very seriously. For us, SAHM, large family, etc was not an option. It was something you do if you're a believing, consecrated Mormon.

Considering that large families with SAHM moms are pretty rare in this day and age, outside of highly religious people, I would say it's an easy dot to connect.

It also seems pretty natural that once you stop believing, that you stop and reflect on all the decisions and sacrifices you made because of your beliefs in Mormonism, and maybe some of them you regret.

So, should his resentment extend to his children too? Or just the church's influence to have 6+ kids?

[DrumNFeather]

I disagree. If the dad makes a good living, I don't think it's rare at all for a mom with several children to stay at home while the kids are young, religious or not. In fact, I'd say it's common for moms to stay at home in such a family.

I've noticed an interesting trend out here in the DC area among the women that I work with...in particular young mothers who want to shelve their careers and stay home...all non-LDS folks.

We have plenty of full-timers in my ward as well and it works just fine. Surprisingly, the bishop has not taken away their temple rec because they work.

[jay santos]

So, should his resentment extend to his children too? Or just the church's influence to have 6+ kids?

Should? As in, is it moral for him to do so? I'm not going to judge him. Probably not good idea to express publicly. But you're now expressing a different opinion than whether or not he's truthful in his first paragraph statement.

[jay santos]

I disagree. If the dad makes a good living, I don't think it's rare at all for a mom with several children to stay at home while the kids are young, religious or not. In fact, I'd say it's common for moms to stay at home in such a family.

I live in the MorCor, so I could be wrong on this, but my perception is that six or more kids and a SAHM would be considered very rare in a family that's not highly religious. I'd guess it would be like a 1/20 kind of thing. Am I far off?

[DrumNFeather]

Should? As in, is it moral for him to do so? I'm not going to judge him. Probably not good idea to express publicly. But you're now expressing a different opinion than whether or not he's truthful in his first paragraph statement.

I'm not questioning his truthfulness at all. I was simply responding with some snark as to why it is the church's fault that he had 6 kids...and if he regrets his membership in the church and blames the church for the fact that he has 6 kids and a SAHM then how far does it extend. My point is that I don't think it should extend to any of those things.

[smokymountainrain]

I live in the MorCor, so I could be wrong on this, but my perception is that six or more kids and a SAHM would be considered very rare in a family that's not highly religious. I'd guess it would be like a 1/20 kind of thing. Am I far off?

I'd say it's rare for a couple to have six kids. I'd say most that do have 6 or more are religious. Maybe he should blame his terrible life - the life he chose - on the fact that he's Christian or that he believes in a God rather than the fact that he's mormon.

On the issue of stay at home moms with several kids, I think that decision has less to do with religion than it does the financial situation.

[jay santos]

I live in the MorCor, so I could be wrong on this, but my perception is that six or more kids and a SAHM would be considered very rare in a family that's not highly religious. I'd guess it would be like a 1/20 kind of thing. Am I far off?

I did a couple minutes of research on this, and I think my guess was too conservative. Probably more like 1/50 or less.