Why is it so important that funerals in the LDS church are so depersonalized?

[Babs]

I don't know who your ancestors are, and I don't know if you're serious, but I'm with you--I think a funeral pyre

Admit it: you just want to live out your Jedi fantasy.

-

I want to have a green burial, where they just throw you in the ground and plant a tree on top of you. I'm trying to decide which tree I want to be reincarnated as.

[TripletDaddy]

I don't know who your ancestors are, and I don't know if you're serious, but I'm with you--I think a funeral pyre or cremation is far more symbolic (and just plain cool) than the strange process of embalmment (no offense, IPU) that we subject our dead to today. I wouldn't even mind being buried in the backyard, if it were legal--just don't embalm me. Pyre's my first choice.

When I mention this to my wife, she initially just doesn't want to talk about it, but then is pretty opposed to it. I say, It's my funeral. I think I should get to pick how I go.

Does the church have an official opinion on cremation?

I think I recall reading about it being discouraged. Can't remember if it was Book 1 or Book 2, but that sounds more like Book 1 material.

I love your backyard idea, except for the logistics of when your family moves. Or if you buy a used home.

Wife: Honey.......

ER: What? *watching tv*

Wife: Have you finished digging that grave like I asked you to?

ER: No, I said I would do it! I just want to finish watching the BYU game..

Wife: That grave isn't going to dig itself and don't forget that we still need to do something with the other casket that the kids dug up last week. The visiting teachers were just over here last week and saw it. I was really embarrassed.

ER: OK, OK! *whispers: I'll dig YOUR grave*

Wife: What did you say?

ER: nothing......

[beelzebabette]

I want to have a green burial, where they just throw you in the ground and plant a tree on top of you. I'm trying to decide which tree I want to be reincarnated as.

Dogwood. It has its pretty moments and the high pollen times of the year will remind people of my irritating personality.

[Babs]

Dogwood. It has its pretty moments and the high pollen times of the year will remind people of my irritating personality.

My husband suggested I should come back as a willow -- aesthetically pleasing but invasive and high-maintenance.

[il Padrino Ute]

Dead bodies freak me out (add it to the list), so I do not like going to funerals.

Wuss.

You've seen too many movies. A dead body won't hurt you.

[Soccermom]

Anyway, I'm rambling. It's just to say that there's no need to be overly critical of the church. You rarely hear of a well-executed (ouch) funeral, regardless of denomination or lack thereof.

Yes. You are correct that I shouldn't be overly critical and it honestly wasn't my intent in asking. My family (aunts, uncles, cousins) still harbor a grudge and I'm kind of their scapegoat since I was the only active member at the time. Even my mom brings it up with me and gets upset at me. But I can't really blame it on the policy. My family could have done their own thing at a funeral home. But I think those darn funeral potatoes and ham drove them to the LDS church. At least the food was comforting.

[KillerDog]

I gave the eulogy at my dad's funeral in October 2007 at an LDS chapel.

Here's an approximation of what I said, if you're curious:

http://wuapinmon.blogspot.com/2007/11/for-those-who-werent-there-my-dads.html

Man, you write a nice little speach. I'm sorry about your father dying. My Dad will be dead 4 years in July and I still struggle with the loss.

[UtahDan]

Man, you write a nice little speach. I'm sorry about your father dying. My Dad will be dead 4 years in July and I still struggle with the loss.

I know that a lot of men view this as one of the true rights of passage of manhood. If I can have a pass on it for another 25 years, that will be okay with me.

[KillerDog]

I know that a lot of men view this as one of the true rights of passage of manhood. If I can have a pass on it for another 25 years, that will be okay with me.

I don't know about a right of passage. My father was lucky, he had his dad well into his 50s. 30 is too young to lose your father. My children will not know their grandfather and their lives will be worse because of it.

[wuapinmon]

I don't know who your ancestors are, and I don't know if you're serious, but I'm with you--I think a funeral pyre or cremation is far more symbolic (and just plain cool) than the strange process of embalmment (no offense, IPU) that we subject our dead to today. I wouldn't even mind being buried in the backyard, if it were legal--just don't embalm me. Pyre's my first choice.

When I mention this to my wife, she initially just doesn't want to talk about it, but then is pretty opposed to it. I say, It's my funeral. I think I should get to pick how I go.

Does the church have an official opinion on cremation?

My ancestors are all Anglo-Saxon.....and I'm dead serious about bonfires. Nothing feels better than to have one at night after a funeral.

[TripletDaddy]

Wuss.

You've seen too many movies. A dead body won't hurt you.

Oh, yeah? Tell that to Ola Ray!

[ERCougar]

I hate to be anal about this, but you guys are attorneys--wordsmiths, if you will. It's "rite"!

[wuapinmon]

Man, you write a nice little speach. I'm sorry about your father dying. My Dad will be dead 4 years in July and I still struggle with the loss.

Thank you....his eulogy was one of the easiest things I've ever written....it just poured out of me, like I wasn't even having to think about it.

While I admit that I still struggle with the loss, I will say that the struggles have gotten fewer between than they used to be. My dad's parents are still alive, and it has wrecked my grandmother. She set herself on fire 3 weeks ago so she "could go be with Johnny Mac." My maternal grandpa died last year at 95. He never got over his mom's death when he was a toddler.

Tim lost his mom shortly after he came back from his mission; she died in a car crash. He has recovered better from her death better than anyone I've ever seen.

[il Padrino Ute]

I don't know who your ancestors are, and I don't know if you're serious, but I'm with you--I think a funeral pyre or cremation is far more symbolic (and just plain cool) than the strange process of embalmment (no offense, IPU) that we subject our dead to today. I wouldn't even mind being buried in the backyard, if it were legal--just don't embalm me. Pyre's my first choice.

When I mention this to my wife, she initially just doesn't want to talk about it, but then is pretty opposed to it. I say, It's my funeral. I think I should get to pick how I go.

Does the church have an official opinion on cremation?

No offense taken. The reason embalming is a part of the process is to slow down decomposition in order to have a viewing. It's also to lower the risk of pathogens. Most state laws say that a dead body needs to be embalmed, refrigerated, cremated or buried within 24 hours of death.

In my experience, the church doesn't have an official opinion on cremation. It generally encourages to follow cultural customs. Cremation is the least costly way to legally take care of a deceased person so it is becoming more and more used. There were times when the family of the deceased is close to being destitute and the local bishop approved the paying for the cremation.

[wuapinmon]

Wuss.

You've seen too many movies. A dead body won't hurt you.

That depends on the body....my dad's would've given you his disease very easily once his brain cavity was opened.