Why is it so important that funerals in the LDS church are so depersonalized?

[Soccermom]

Does it bother anyone else that a bishop has to approve of the funeral program? Are there any scriptures that outline this formula? Or is this notion of turning a funeral into a sacrament meeting (more or less) something that came out via a letter from the FP?

I just remember my grandpa's funeral. It was a disaster that pretty much guaranteed none of my aunts and uncles will ever even think about joining the church.

[Indy Coug]

As is the case with most regulations/guidelines, a series of unfortunate events caused the hierarchy to tighten the screws as a result.

[Brian]

As is the case with most regulations/guidelines, a series of unfortunate events caused the hierarchy to tighten the screws as a result.

Was there something in particular that brought this about?
I'm sure this is the case, just wondering if you knew some particulars.

[Indy Coug]

Was there something in particular that brought this about?
I'm sure this is the case, just wondering if you knew some particulars.

Just a general observation (inside and outside of church) about what usually provides the impetus for increased regulation. There was probably a funeral somewhere in Guatemala that broke out into a Pentacostal speaking in tonuges fest and the church clamped down as a result.

[DrumNFeather]

We just had Elder Oaks out here for stake conference and he mentioned funerals specifically in his remarks in a leadership session.

[marsupial]

We just had Elder Oaks out here for stake conference and he mentioned funerals specifically in his remarks in a leadership session.

And what did he say?

[myboynoah]

I recall attending only two LDS funerals so far, my mother's and my grandmother's. Both were very personal, focusing and what wonderful lives the deceased had lived. That's my experience.

[cowboy]

Does it bother anyone else that a bishop has to approve of the funeral program? Are there any scriptures that outline this formula? Or is this notion of turning a funeral into a sacrament meeting (more or less) something that came out via a letter from the FP?

I just remember my grandpa's funeral. It was a disaster that pretty much guaranteed none of my aunts and uncles will ever even think about joining the church.

SM, I think you just need a new bishop. I personally don't have a problem with the church policy on this one. Most bishops I know approve the program without hesitation, even if it is a non-member funeral - (we have a lot of those because we don't charge for funerals and other area churches do.) The only reason for the program review is to make sure there won't be anything outlandish (fireworks, snakes, lame renditions of "I Heard Him Come," etc.)

[TripletDaddy]

Dead bodies freak me out (add it to the list), so I do not like going to funerals.

The LDS ones that I have attended are, by far, the most comfortable specifically because they feel like a Sacrament meeting. It is familiar. I also like that everyone is dressed normally, as opposed to everyone wearing black, which I find not only depressing but almost cliche.

The Catholic funerals I have attended....a few were too much for me. Lots of Latin, Song of Farewell and Incensation, candles everywhere, people reciting "Lord hear our prayer...." I kept waiting for the priest to pop in an Enigma CD and then I would find myself trapped in some haunted castle somewhere, unable to escape, being chased by nuns.

I saw enough freaky Catholicism in Bolivia to keep me scared for the rest of my life. Stuff that American Catholicism will never see here in the States.

[Surfah]

I don't have a problem with church policy on this either, particularly when using the church facilities.

In my experience the church has been incredibly sensitive and accommodating to the grieving families' needs.

[Soccermom]

SM, I think you just need a new bishop. I personally don't have a problem with the church policy on this one. Most bishops I know approve the program without hesitation, even if it is a non-member funeral - (we have a lot of those because we don't charge for funerals and other area churches do.) The only reason for the program review is to make sure there won't be anything outlandish (fireworks, snakes, lame renditions of "I Heard Him Come," etc.)

Perhaps you are right. I haven't been to many funerals either. It wasn't my bishop who presided at my grandpa's funeral though. I just found it odd that after I spoke about the good things my grandpa did, the other two speakers, who weren't family members, felt compelled to call my entire family to repentance, state that my grandpa was alone in the spirit world wandering around aimlessly because he didn't do the right things in this life, and the rest of my family was headed in that direction if they didn't wake up and join the church.

I think you are probably right that most funerals are just fine. I just seem to have rotten luck and get the bishops who interpret things in such a weird fashion.

[Soccermom]

I don't have a problem with church policy on this either, particularly when using the church facilities.

In my experience the church has been incredibly sensitive and accommodating to the grieving families' needs.

What is the exact policy? Maybe my rotten luck with off their rocker bishops has given me a false idea as to what the actual policy is. . .

[KillerDog]

Perhaps you are right. I haven't been to many funerals either. It wasn't my bishop who presided at my grandpa's funeral though. I just found it odd that after I spoke about the good things my grandpa did, the other two speakers, who weren't family members, felt compelled to call my entire family to repentance, state that my grandpa was alone in the spirit world wandering around aimlessly because he didn't do the right things in this life, and the rest of my family was headed in that direction if they didn't wake up and join the church.

I think you are probably right that most funerals are just fine. I just seem to have rotten luck and get the bishops who interpret things in such a weird fashion.

At one point, I recall instruction to make funerals a missionary tool. Unfortunately, I don't think the effort gave a positive result in your grandfather's place. I don't recall when the "missionary tool" funeral came down but I suspect this is what you encountered.

[cowboy]

I just found it odd that after I spoke about the good things my grandpa did, the other two speakers, who weren't family members, felt compelled to call my entire family to repentance, state that my grandpa was alone in the spirit world wandering around aimlessly because he didn't do the right things in this life, and the rest of my family was headed in that direction if they didn't wake up and join the church.

Wow. I've never had that experience in an LDS funeral, and I've been to a lot of them. I made the mistake of singing at a funeral years ago, and now I'm the community funeral singer. It's kind of a crappy gig, but what can you do.

The closest I've ever come to an experience like yours was in a Lutheran funeral. A kid had been killed in a drunk driving accident and the pastor stood up and said "Jeff was a sinner. Now he's in Hell. It's too late for him, but not for the rest of you." I learned that day that all religions have a few idiots that their people would like to hide under a rock.

[BigPiney]

Perhaps you are right. I haven't been to many funerals either. It wasn't my bishop who presided at my grandpa's funeral though. I just found it odd that after I spoke about the good things my grandpa did, the other two speakers, who weren't family members, felt compelled to call my entire family to repentance, state that my grandpa was alone in the spirit world wandering around aimlessly because he didn't do the right things in this life, and the rest of my family was headed in that direction if they didn't wake up and join the church.

I think you are probably right that most funerals are just fine. I just seem to have rotten luck and get the bishops who interpret things in such a weird fashion.

Thats too bad. I was asked to speak at a funeral about a year ago for a woman in her 40's that died of cancer. Never have I spent so much time on such a short talk. I was the Plan of salvation talk. Personally I thought it was good, and was appropriate for the ocassion. I was the only one to not focus on the deceased and I spoke for 5 minutes. I hope no one had the same reaction you did to mine. If I can find it I'll let you have a look.