Repentance and confession - What would you do?

[ERCougar]

I related the discussion to my roommate last night. She said she'd absolutely want to know and became more entrenched as I related more women joining in on the viewpoint. I was focused on laughing at her exercise video, but I remember her saying something about it not being a good decision to carry forward as a couple with incomplete information.

She's not married, right?

Before anyone jumps on me for not listening to single folk, I'm only pointing this out because I certainly held some idealistic views of marriage when I was single. Of course, you have married people on here who agree with her, so that's not necessarily being idealistic. I guess it's interesting that every married woman on here would rather not know (unless I'm misinterpreting or missing something...).

[Surfah]

She's not married, right?

Before anyone jumps on me for not listening to single folk, I'm only pointing this out because I certainly held some idealistic views of marriage when I was single. Of course, you have married people on here who agree with her, so that's not necessarily being idealistic. I guess it's interesting that every married woman on here would rather not know (unless I'm misinterpreting or missing something...).

I just had this discussion with Gidget and she said she'd want to know just as I predicted.

[UtahDan]

In respect to extramarital affairs, I just don't know how anyone can keep it a secret forever. People have to know or at least suspect. You'd think it'd be just a matter of time before it got back to your spouse. I guess that is another reason for honesty with me. I'd much rather find out from a contrite spouse than through the grapevine.

I would rather know too, but that is very specific to me. Believe it not, these things stay secret. I am aware of a man who was a leader in his community and the church who copped to a series of affairs going back 30 plus years. No one suspected him. I don't think there is any one size fits all for this in either direction.

[Babs]

She's not married, right?

Before anyone jumps on me for not listening to single folk, I'm only pointing this out because I certainly held some idealistic views of marriage when I was single. Of course, you have married people on here who agree with her, so that's not necessarily being idealistic. I guess it's interesting that every married woman on here would rather not know (unless I'm misinterpreting or missing something...).

I was going to say the same thing.

I just had this discussion with Gidget and she said she'd want to know just as I predicted.

Gidget hasn't been married ten years.

[cowboy]

I just had this discussion with Gidget and she said she'd want to know just as I predicted.

And then the question is how would she react? Does she want to know so she can divorce you, or would she be willing to work things out?

[Surfah]

Gidget hasn't been married ten years.

I'll get back to you in 8 more, but her answer won't change.

[Surfah]

And then the question is how would she react? Does she want to know so she can divorce you, or would she be willing to work things out?

I hate speaking for her but she said that of course she'd be devastated. But that she said she should know. She also threw in the same caveat that I did when I predicted she'd want to know, and that is her capacity to forgive. So yes, it'd be so we could work it out. Gidget is not a quitter.

We've all been through our own "ish" but Gidget has had more than her fair share and how she's been able to forgive some of these people and their grievous offenses is beyond my comprehension. In fact, there are times when I get upset with her because she's not bitter or holding grudges. She's a rare bird like that and that is why I married her.

[beelzebabette]

She's not married, right?

Before anyone jumps on me for not listening to single folk, I'm only pointing this out because I certainly held some idealistic views of marriage when I was single. Of course, you have married people on here who agree with her, so that's not necessarily being idealistic. I guess it's interesting that every married woman on here would rather not know (unless I'm misinterpreting or missing something...).

This is a dumb argument to get into. 1) It's not my place to share her past here, 2) she's still entitled to an opinion, and 3) I disagree with her so does that make me less idealistic? It's a simple opinion that I thought was adequately disclosed as coming from someone of single status when I related she was my roommate.

[TripletDaddy]

I just had this discussion with Gidget and she said she'd want to know just as I predicted.

My wife and I chatted about it last night. She also said she would want to know.

She then followed up with "why are you asking me this?"

I got pissed and peeled out of the driveway and didn't return until about 1AM.

[Surfah]

My wife and I chatted about it last night. She also said she would want to know.

She then followed up with "why are you asking me this?"

I got pissed and peeled out of the driveway and didn't return until about 1AM.

LOL. I told Gidget, "Thanks, now I can have that affair."

[Surfah]

My wife and I chatted about it last night. She also said she would want to know.

Have you been married for 10 years yet?

[TripletDaddy]

I guess it's interesting that every married woman on here would rather not know (unless I'm misinterpreting or missing something...).

Yep....all 5 or so of them.

I guess that solves that debate.

[TripletDaddy]

Have you been married for 10 years yet?

Yes, we have. Our relationship is based (in part) on not telling each other about stuff we do behind each other's backs. It is done out of love, though. I predict another blissful 10 years!

[Tim]

My wife and I chatted about it last night. She also said she would want to know.

She then followed up with "why are you asking me this?"

I got pissed and peeled out of the driveway and didn't return until about 1AM.

TripletDaddy, I can't tell you how many times reading your posts has caused me to burst out in laughter at my desk here at work. It's been a regular occurrence for months on end. My coworkers always ask me what it is, and I always answer the same way: "My internet friends are way funnier than your internet friends."

[RobinFinderson]

TripletDaddy, I can't tell you how many times reading your posts has caused me to burst out in laughter at my desk here at work. It's been a regular occurrence for months on end. My coworkers always ask me what it is, and I always answer the same way: "My internet friends are way funnier than your internet friends."

Damn Tim, it might be true, but you don't have to say it. I hope you plan on paying for DDD's dry cleaning bill.