I learned in church today

[falafel]

This is pretty good. But not quite as good as the discussion an Institute teacher in Logan walked us right up to the edge and then left us to fall into our new reality of knowing that the reason we know that Adam and Eve didn’t have children in the garden was because their bodies were still perfect i.e. didn’t have blood and therefore Adam was physically unable to have an erection making ejaculation and conception impossible.


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Shit man. Eternity is going to feel like an eterrrrrrrnity.

[Northwestcoug]

Shit man. Eternity is going to feel like an eterrrrrrrnity.

Oh man you're right! No blood after the resurrection! This counts for even the celestial kingdom dwellers!

[All-American]

Oh man you're right! No blood after the resurrection! This counts for even the celestial kingdom dwellers!

Not a problem, guys. Haven’t you read about Moses turning the snake into a staff?

[Green Monstah]

Oh man you're right! No blood after the resurrection! This counts for even the celestial kingdom dwellers!

Guys: no blood, but still flesh and "bone". I think we're gonna be okay.

[Green Monstah]

My freshman year seminary teacher speculated that those who violated their chastity covenants would be eunuchs in the terrestrial kingdom. I didn't know the word, so I asked what it meant. He explained the medieval definition but clarified that it may not be eunuchs in the same sense, but that our genitals would either be non-existent or non-functional.

[falafel]

Guys: no blood, but still flesh and "bone". I think we're gonna be okay.

Permabone. Erections lasting more than 4 hours are not good.

[Northwestcoug]

Not a problem, guys. Haven’t you read about Moses turning the snake into a staff?

Permabone. Erections lasting more than 4 hours are not good.

If it's a choice between celestial viagra and a permabone, please give me the former!

[Jeff Lebowski]

Dwight Schr-ute always has some of the best stories.

[creekster]

My freshman year seminary teacher speculated that those who violated their chastity covenants would be eunuchs in the terrestrial kingdom. I didn't know the word, so I asked what it meant. He explained the medieval definition but clarified that it may not be eunuchs in the same sense, but that our genitals would either be non-existent or non-functional.

SOUnds like an Anne Rice vampire. And what on earth is the point of that speculation?

These stories are hilarious but also a bit sad, given that they are likely true and that few or none of us have any difficulty believing they are true.

[Jeff Lebowski]

SOUnds like an Anne Rice vampire. And what on earth is the point of that speculation?

These stories are hilarious but also a bit sad, given that they are likely true and that few or none of us have any difficulty believing they are true.

Of course we believe them, because they originated from Joseph Fielding Smith.

https://faithpromotingrumor.wordpres...smoothie-rule/

[SCcoug]

Of course we believe them, because they originated from Joseph Fielding Smith.

https://faithpromotingrumor.wordpres...smoothie-rule/

Also YO likes to bring it up occasionally with our apostates.

[RC Vikings]

http://www.cougarstadium.com/showthr...l=1#post389497

Coming up on 10 years since I learned how efficient (or inefficient, as BYU71 pointed out) our temple work is. Also, RIP BYU71 and RIP Slim.

I played golf with BYU71 about five weeks ago, he's still hitting it long and straight and very much alive.

[creekster]

Of course we believe them, because they originated from Joseph Fielding Smith.

https://faithpromotingrumor.wordpres...smoothie-rule/

Yes, the Doctrines of Salvation volumes are full of this sort of stuff. DIfferent era.

[Green Monstah]

Of course we believe them, because they originated from Joseph Fielding Smith.

https://faithpromotingrumor.wordpres...smoothie-rule/

Part of me is repulsed that this originated from a guy that lived in the same century as me, and part of me is relieved that my seminary teacher didn't come up with this theory whole cloth.

[smokymountainrain]

My freshman year seminary teacher speculated that those who violated their chastity covenants would be eunuchs in the terrestrial kingdom. I didn't know the word, so I asked what it meant. He explained the medieval definition but clarified that it may not be eunuchs in the same sense, but that our genitals would either be non-existent or non-functional.

gotta love seminary teachers.