I learned in church today

[PaloAltoCougar]

Although one could argue that during the sacrament one should be more focused on the atonement than on the quality, or lack thereof, of baked goods, I confess I was moved by DDD's testimony and have often thought about such things.

This also reminds me of an experience, no doubt previously reported, when I was a priest sitting behind the table. After we had passed out the trays to the Deacs and they were out on their deliveries, my fellow priest leaned over and said something like "Man, the hymn ended too fast and I think I forgot to break up one of the halves...", or something to that effect. [Our administration procedure typically began with tearing a slice in half, then breaking each half into smaller bite-sized pieces].

We awaited hesitantly for news (and perhaps a post-meeting rebuke from the bish] confirming the omission. We didn't wait long. Within a minute, a little kid in the congregation exclaimed delightedly "Wow!" and held high his large and tasty find.

[sparky]

It ever I'm tasked with providing sacrament bread, it's going to be Dave's killer good seed. I think it'll delight most folks and maybe shock a handful of others.

[DU Ute]

Stale Wonder bread for us today. This will be in my list of grievances when I stage my grandiose exit from the Church.


Speaking of ways to improve the sacrament. my 2.5 year old daughter just dumped out her sacrament cup and loudly declared "I want soda!"

[RC Vikings]

Although one could argue that during the sacrament one should be more focused on the atonement than on the quality, or lack thereof, of baked goods, I confess I was moved by DDD's testimony and have often thought about such things.

This also reminds me of an experience, no doubt previously reported, when I was a priest sitting behind the table. After we had passed out the trays to the Deacs and they were out on their deliveries, my fellow priest leaned over and said something like "Man, the hymn ended too fast and I think I forgot to break up one of the halves...", or something to that effect. [Our administration procedure typically began with tearing a slice in half, then breaking each half into smaller bite-sized pieces].

We awaited hesitantly for news (and perhaps a post-meeting rebuke from the bish] confirming the omission. We didn't wait long. Within a minute, a little kid in the congregation exclaimed delightedly "Wow!" and held high his large and tasty find.

PAC your stories always seem to make me smile.

[DU Ute]

I'm going to be very disappointed if there are no reports here of some sabbath political rantings. With the recent SCOTUS ruling, fast Sunday and the 4th coming up, it is a perfect storm.

[Pelado]

I learned that if you have enough faith to pay your tithing (even though you are self employed and have inconsistent cash flow) then you'll win a $500 gas card from a radio station.

[Non Sequitur]

I remember the Sunday morning many years ago, I was at the Fast Gas pouring a cup of coffee (I was semi-active at the time), and saw the Priest's advisor come in and purchase a loaf of bread. I'm not sure if that constitutes breaking the Sabbath, since you're on the Lord's errand, but he still looked a little embarrassed. I was a little embarrassed as well about the coffee, but we never acknowledged each other...it was kind of an "I won't tell if you don't tell" moment.

[ERCougar]

Since this is F&T day, just wanted to express my gratitude for those that bring really delicious bread for Sac. Today as I was sitting in my seat waiting for the tray to come my way, I noted that wheat bread was on the menu. I am generally not a fan of wheat bread for Sac because more often than not it is dry and tastes terrible. As the tray neared my hand, I was resigned to a mouthful of mealy, somewhat course quasi-transubstantiation.

As a side note, picking the right piece of Sac is an art unto itself. If I get the sense that the bread is ok, I will "accidentally" grab a piece that is hooked onto another piece and then gobble up both. If the bread is wheat or an otherwise unappealing looking white, I always search the fringes for the final tiny pieces that have been hastily shredded up before the final verse of the Sac hymn. Smaller pieces are less offensive to the taste.

In this instance, I only had a brief second to peruse the offerings and unfortunately I didn't see any tiny niblets. To the contrary, the pieces today seemed unusually large. I was disappointed and somewhat annoyed at the thoughtless priests in our ward that needed a lesson in quality control. Having no choice due to previous covenants I had made in the company of witnesses, I picked the nearest piece.

As I picked it up, I noticed immediately that the bread was cooler to the touch than a standard sac bread. It wasn't so cold that you get that foreboding dread the accompanies the realization that you are eating still frozen old bread that wasn't even thawed before it was brought to Church. It was distinctly below room temperature and, to the extent possible, refreshing.

I also noted that the bread was very dense. This was a heavy clump of dough, not a light, dry toast. It felt akin to those delicious samples you pick up at Great Harvest or some other local bakery. I was intrigued.

Sensing the possibility of something pleasant, I decided to test the consistency of the bread. As I slowly lifted it to my mouth (with my right hand, of course), I gently squeezed the generous portion between my fingers. springy, thick, but otherwise firm (not THAT, sickos!). I was transfixed.

As the sac neared my mouth, I realized that I knew this bread, I had seen and tasted this bread before. It was delicious bread from my past....all the samples from bakeries, stores, and various homes in my wards. I was ready to partake.

Sure enough, my instincts were correct. As I ate the bread, I looked over to my wife and she was smiling as much as I was. We both knew that we were eating something special and eating it together as a couple. It was a bonding moment. Also, it turns out that the bread was homemade bread made by my wife's visiting teacher. No wonder I knew this bread. I had eaten before! This was the same type of bread that was left at our home and that I ate without sharing, on many occasions.

Anyhow, my heart is beating really fast right now and I would feel really ungrateful if I didn't type this out and publicly thank that little Asian woman that visit teaches my wife and brings some of the best sac bread I have ever experienced.

And the thought that some teacher not only just touched, but squished that morsel between his almost certainly unwashed fingers didn't ruin the experience?

I'm kind of impressed. My OCD doesn't run nearly as deep and I always have to dissociate a little to get down the sacrament bred.

[PaloAltoCougar]

And the thought that some teacher not only just touched, but squished that morsel between his almost certainly unwashed fingers didn't ruin the experience?

I'm kind of impressed. My OCD doesn't run nearly as deep and I always have to dissociate a little to get down the sacrament bred.

Don't all sacrament tables have a Purell dispenser of some sort, typically positioned next to the pullout card with the sacrament prayers? Ours does, and while I concede it's very possible the priests don't actually the thing, I pretend they do so to avoid the awful thought that the sacrament tray is now transporting billions of microbes that have made their way from some kid's video game controller.

[DU Ute]

And the thought that some teacher not only just touched, but squished that morsel between his almost certainly unwashed fingers didn't ruin the experience?

I'm kind of impressed. My OCD doesn't run nearly as deep and I always have to dissociate a little to get down the sacrament bred.

Our ward has a big bottle of Purel under the sacrament table. That's enough for me.

[DU Ute]

Don't all sacrament tables have a Purell dispenser of some sort, typically positioned next to the pullout card with the sacrament prayers? Ours does, and while I concede it's very possible the priests don't actually the thing, I pretend they do so to avoid the awful thought that the sacrament tray is now transporting billions of microbes that have made their way from some kid's video game controller.

You're too quick for such an old man.

[SoCalCoug]

I'm going to be very disappointed if there are no reports here of some sabbath political rantings. With the recent SCOTUS ruling, fast Sunday and the 4th coming up, it is a perfect storm.

Closest we've come so far is a woman just read to us a verse of the Cuban national anthem as part of her testimony.

[Omaha 680]

All this talk of sacrament bread reminds me of the time about a year ago when the assigned person didn't bring the bread. Our branch president sent someone on an emergency errand to obtain bread, but the meeting had already started and it wasn't clear if he would make it back in time. I reminded the branch president thaat there was an abundance of leftover pastries including mini cinnamon rolls in his office that he had brought to share in morning meetings. He wasn't excited about it, but agreed I could go get them of the bread didn't arrive. Unforunately the bread did arrive just in time and thus the greatest sacrament ever was ruined.

[calicoug]

Although one could argue that during the sacrament one should be more focused on the atonement than on the quality, or lack thereof, of baked goods, I confess I was moved by DDD's testimony and have often thought about such things.

This also reminds me of an experience, no doubt previously reported, when I was a priest sitting behind the table. After we had passed out the trays to the Deacs and they were out on their deliveries, my fellow priest leaned over and said something like "Man, the hymn ended too fast and I think I forgot to break up one of the halves...", or something to that effect. [Our administration procedure typically began with tearing a slice in half, then breaking each half into smaller bite-sized pieces].

We awaited hesitantly for news (and perhaps a post-meeting rebuke from the bish] confirming the omission. We didn't wait long. Within a minute, a little kid in the congregation exclaimed delightedly "Wow!" and held high his large and tasty find.

Outstanding. Bishops should reward congregations when they are down on sin for the week. Lots of bishop interviews, you get stale wonderbread. Only a handful, you upgrade to something delightful from great harvest. In a rare week where no sins are needed to be resolved with bishop help- clam chowder bread bowls for everyone.

Imagine the potential with the water, too. Maybe you start with lukewarm water in small paper cups like now, then upgrade to a nice iced glass of water, and on the ultimate day it's BYOB Sunday.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

Imagine the potential with the water, too. Maybe you start with lukewarm water in small paper cups like now, then upgrade to a nice iced glass of water, and on the ultimate day it's BYOB Sunday.

Wait?! People are still using the paper cups? Correlation my eye!