I learned in church today

[clackamascoug]

Wow! That is some out there stuff. Somebody should totally tell that guy to stop teaching false doctrine, as ejaculation and conception are both totally possible sans erection.

I wouldn't know... but I'll take your word on it.

I wrote five pithy things - but Jesus records my online post's - so I thought better.

[Donuthole]

I learned in church today

This is pretty good. But not quite as good as the discussion an Institute teacher in Logan walked us right up to the edge and then left us to fall into our new reality of knowing that the reason we know that Adam and Eve didn’t have children in the garden was because their bodies were still perfect i.e. didn’t have blood and therefore Adam was physically unable to have an erection making ejaculation and conception impossible.

Wow! That is some out there stuff. Somebody should totally tell that guy to stop teaching false doctrine, as ejaculation and conception are both totally possible sans erection.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

OK - not really "learned in church", but hopefully close enough to count.

My daughter-in-law is taking a Doctrine and Covenants institute class. She says that the teacher likes to get into some deep doctrinal conversations from time to time, and ended up asking me what I thought of the teacher's latest point of discussion during dinner yesterday.

Apparently the teacher told them that upon Christ's resurrection, EVERY good person who had died prior to Christ and was worthy of being resurrected during the "first resurrection" was resurrected at that time. Kind of a reference to Matthew 27:52-53, I suppose.

So here's the fun part - this guy told them that because all of the good people who died before Christ were resurrected with Christ, that means that when archeologists find the bones of humans that pre-date Christ, that means that those individuals were not good people. Because if they had been good people they would've been resurrected and there would be no bones to find.

Admittedly, this is third hand. But that's one of the craziest things I've heard coming from a seminary/institute teacher in a while.

This is pretty good. But not quite as good as the discussion an Institute teacher in Logan walked us right up to the edge and then left us to fall into our new reality of knowing that the reason we know that Adam and Eve didn’t have children in the garden was because their bodies were still perfect i.e. didn’t have blood and therefore Adam was physically unable to have an erection making ejaculation and conception impossible.


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[smokymountainrain]

No, they are actually both dead!

resurrected perhaps. glad they weren't cremated! phew

[falafel]

they are both active on CB.

No, they are actually both dead!

[smokymountainrain]

I thought I had shared this before, but I wasn't about to try searching on tapatalk. Got to the office this morning and searched. Turns out it was on Page 1 of this very thread. Coming up on 10 years since I learned how efficient (or inefficient, as BYU71 pointed out) our temple work is. Also, RIP BYU71 and RIP Slim.

they are both active on CB.

[Donuthole]

Lol. Had that exact experience as a YM leader taking kids to the temple.

I thought I had shared this before, but I wasn't about to try searching on tapatalk. Got to the office this morning and searched. Turns out it was on Page 1 of this very thread.

http://www.cougarstadium.com/showthread.php?27308-I-learned-in-church-today&p=389497&viewfull=1#post389497

Coming up on 10 years since I learned how efficient (or inefficient, as BYU71 pointed out) our temple work is. Also, RIP BYU71 and RIP Slim.

[Northwestcoug]

It is amazing to me to think that the Lord of All, who created everything in existence and who has all power, will be restrained from being able to resurrect individuals only if their bones can be located and are intact.

My mom gave me this reason why the church frowned upon cremation. Just another example of not following an argument a step or two further.

[imanihonjin]

Kind of sad to know that anyone who dies in a fire and is burned up will basically be stuck in paradise/prison for eternity because they can't be resurrected. Really sad.

It is amazing to me to think that the Lord of All, who created everything in existence and who has all power, will be restrained from being able to resurrect individuals only if their bones can be located and are intact.

[Jeff Lebowski]

The same percentage? In the mouths of 2-3 witnessess!

I wonder what they're doing on the other side to bring that number up?

Yes. 80%. The specificity is what made me laugh.

[myboynoah]

Lol. Had that exact experience as a YM leader taking kids to the temple.

The same percentage? In the mouths of 2-3 witnessess!

I wonder what they're doing on the other side to bring that number up?

[Jeff Lebowski]

I love stuff like this. It reminds me of the time we were in the temple waiting to do baptisms with the youth and the temple worker, wanting to emphasize the importance of the temple work about to be performed by the group, announced that it has been estimated that 80% of Temple work performed by proxy is accepted on the other side.

Lol. Had that exact experience as a YM leader taking kids to the temple.

[Lost Student]

I love stuff like this. It reminds me of the time we were in the temple waiting to do baptisms with the youth and the temple worker, wanting to emphasize the importance of the temple work about to be performed by the group, announced that it has been estimated that 80% of Temple work performed by proxy is accepted on the other side.

He's probably not wrong. I bet somebody has estimated that.

[Donuthole]

I love stuff like this. It reminds me of the time we were in the temple waiting to do baptisms with the youth and the temple worker, wanting to emphasize the importance of the temple work about to be performed by the group, announced that it has been estimated that 80% of Temple work performed by proxy is accepted on the other side.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Must be true. I learned in Sunday School as a teenager that cremating a loved one was one of the gravest sims because it prevented them from being resurrected.

That’s really funny.