LDS Garments: Why I Want Out of This Club

[KillerDog]

My wife has similar struggles with the women's garment. She has taken to buying the "petite" sized garments in the spandex because that is the most form fitting option and has the least amount of excess material. She used to receive a lot of crap from the old ladies at the distribution center because at 6'1", they didn't think she should buy the petites. After discussing her difficulty, she found that they will custom make garments for you. The garments are made within some parameters but are more custom. I wonder if that could help you in your quest to avoid garment belly bunch and leg lift.

That aside, I expect we will see tank-top garment tops or "wife beater" garment tops within a generation. Such an adjustment doesn't seem problematic religiously and it seems inevitable given the direction garment size and shape have gone.

[Mrs. Funk]

I don't think so. Sounds like some good sexy fun! I'd love to hear about it.

It goes a little something like this.

We got engaged about 4 months before my 21st birthday. My mom married my dad when she was almost 27. Mom, a returned missionary who married later, spent much of her 20s looking down on girls who married young, saying they hadn't "earned" sex yet and didn't "deserve" it. My earlier proximity to sex than her provided us no dearth of argumentation during our engagement. (By the way, I'm not kidding about this. We fought A LOT about it. The fact that by the time I'd decided to attend law school I'd ruled out a mission caused lots of conflict, too.)

Anyway, Mom couldn't bear throwing a bridal shower that celebrated her daughter's forthcoming sexuality. Enter the Personal Preparedness and Food Storage Bridal Shower! Guests were instructed to bring: No. 18 cans of wheat, beans, and other LDS Cannery-type foodstuffs; any items appropriate for a 72-hour kit (batteries, flashlights, bandaids, etc.); emergency cookery (e.g. Dutch ovens). Two clever ladies actually fashioned hilarious "lingerie" out of No. 18 can lids. The one woman who violated the "emergency preparedness" mandate and brought a floor-length white negligee angered my mom so much that the veins popped out of her neck and she was speechless fully 90 seconds or so. The poor garment was so meek and virginal that it's most comical the upset it caused.

I did come away with some pretty practical loot. We got a decent Dutch oven out of it and a bunch of canned food that proved particularly useful the first couple of months of marriage before Mpfunk found a job. I've not heard of another bridal shower like mine, though that's probably a good thing. Fortunately, I'm not a prude and took care of procuring a stash of lingerie myself. Bah.

[KillerDog]

It goes a little something like this.

We got engaged about 4 months before my 21st birthday. My mom married my dad when she was almost 27. Mom, a returned missionary who married later, spent much of her 20s looking down on girls who married young, saying they hadn't "earned" sex yet and didn't "deserve" it. My earlier proximity to sex than her provided us no dearth of argumentation during our engagement. (By the way, I'm not kidding about this. We fought A LOT about it. The fact that by the time I'd decided to attend law school I'd ruled out a mission caused lots of conflict, too.)

Anyway, Mom couldn't bear throwing a bridal shower that celebrated her daughter's forthcoming sexuality. Enter the Personal Preparedness and Food Storage Bridal Shower! Guests were instructed to bring: No. 18 cans of wheat, beans, and other LDS Cannery-type foodstuffs; any items appropriate for a 72-hour kit (batteries, flashlights, bandaids, etc.); emergency cookery (e.g. Dutch ovens). Two clever ladies actually fashioned hilarious "lingerie" out of No. 18 can lids. The one woman who violated the "emergency preparedness" mandate and brought a floor-length white negligee angered my mom so much that the veins popped out of her neck and she was speechless fully 90 seconds or so. The poor garment was so meek and virginal that it's most comical the upset it caused.

I did come away with some pretty practical loot. We got a decent Dutch oven out of it and a bunch of canned food that proved particularly useful the first couple of months of marriage before Mpfunk found a job. I've not heard of another bridal shower like mine, though that's probably a good thing. Fortunately, I'm not a prude and took care of procuring a stash of lingerie myself. Bah.

Dude, that's a bit nutty. No offense but your mom sounds ... interesting. "Earn" sex? what does that even mean?

[marsupial]

BTW, I think it's idiotic to wear them while exercising. I've known only one person in my life who does that, though. (Not, not I, smart-alecs.)

EDIT: Just keep in mind, things could be worse:

Yes, I guess it could always be worse:



But that is little comfort to me.

[Mrs. Funk]

Dude, that's a bit nutty. No offense but your mom sounds ... interesting. "Earn" sex? what does that even mean?

No, it wasn't a bit nutty. It was crazy of the bat shit variety. I love her dearly, but this clearly wasn't one of her most rational moments.

I think she felt that because she had to wait to have sex (or chose to, because of her endowment covenants), everybody else should, too. It burned her that she, a returned missionary and a college graduate, wasn't having sex when little 18-year-olds at BYU were getting married left and right.

[ewth8tr]

Dude, that's a bit nutty. No offense but your mom sounds ... interesting. "Earn" sex? what does that even mean?

As a married man with 5 childre, I know exactly what it means, but I am guessing it means something different to her mom.

[marsupial]

The one woman who violated the "emergency preparedness" mandate and brought a floor-length white negligee angered my mom so much that the veins popped out of her neck and she was speechless fully 90 seconds or so. The poor garment was so meek and virginal that it's most comical the upset it caused.

My friend's mom made her a ridiculous white nightie that would cover her G's for her wedding night (because as her mom told her, she needed to keep them on, even during sex). Since I couldn't attend her shower, I treated her to a trip to Victoria's Secret and let her pick out whatever she wanted. Her husband thanked me later.

[falafel]

Yes, I guess it could always be worse:



But that is little comfort to me.

Yeah, but at least they get to be naked under all that.

They are naked under there, right?

[Mrs. Funk]

My friend's mom made her a ridiculous white nightie that would cover her G's for her wedding night (because as her mom told her, she needed to keep them on, even during sex). Since I couldn't attend her shower, I treated her to a trip to Victoria's Secret and let her pick out whatever she wanted. Her husband thanked me later.

Well done.

[marsupial]

Yeah, but at least they get to be naked under all that.

They are naked under there, right?

Well, I'm naked under my garments, too.

[byu71]

Dudette, that's a bit nutty. No offense but your mom sounds ... interesting. "Earn" sex? what does that even mean?

Fixed it for you.

[Mrs. Funk]

Well, I'm naked under my garments, too.

Yes. Under my garments, my bra, my Shade undershirt, and t-shirt I'm naked, too.

I need to work on wearing pants, though.

[marsupial]

Yes. Under my garments, my bra, my Shade undershirt, and t-shirt I'm naked, too.

I need to work on wearing pants, though.

I thought maybe you were like Barbie with the painted underwear on so that you're never truly naked under your clothes.

[Mrs. Funk]

I thought maybe you were like Barbie with the painted underwear on so that you're never truly naked under your clothes.

Is it a sign of my garment-provoked desperation that LDS garment tattoos are sounding vastly more appealing to me?

[RC Vikings]

This thread is bothering me more about my beliefs then all of SU's threads put together.